Think Like a Man Too Page #5

Un-cuff me!

I got it. Watch out.

Ladies.

- Hi!

- Hi!

- Just go. Hide the cuffs.

- Come right on in.

High tea.

Damn! Look at that.

Dude, can you imagine

having a woman like that?

Just keep this in mind. For every

supermodel you see, every hot girl you see,

there's some dude

that's sick of her sh*t.

Zeke, you and Mya having

problems again, man?

- Obviously.

- She's suddenly fixated with my past.

That whole "Zeke the Freak" thing.

Oh, God!

Imagine that.

Take a second to look at this damn

view. This is what it's about, man!

Fellas!

Bennett!

- Get your ass up! What's wrong with you?

- Clay Aiken! Asleep.

What are you all doin'?

- MotorStorm:
Apocalypse, baby!

- And somehow, he's whooping my ass!

I'm about to whoop both your asses.

Do you know where you are right now?

At the pool.

- We're in Vegas!

- Why are you screaming?

- Mr. Ward?

- Yes.

- Care for another drink?

- You know what?

Yes. You know what?

Give me something strong.

And give me five more

shots of testosterone

for these ladies that

I'm with right now.

- Thank you.

- Yes.

Boy, I'd like to climb that mountain

right there, I'll tell you that much.

That is a big badonkadonk.

All of a sudden, you're

good at video games?

Listen, I play this

every night with Duke.

Duke's a great kid.

He cracks me up.

You know what he

asked me earlier today?

If, after the wedding, if it would

be okay if he called me "Dad".

Time out.

Let me ask you a question. That

doesn't freak you out at all?

What?

Out of nowhere, all of a sudden...

You're an instant dad, just like that.

You're responsible for

this whole other human.

- No.

- Not a cat, not a dog.

This is a human, with teeth

and hair and bones and blood.

What if they hurt somebody?

What if they get kidnapped?

Or if they kidnap somebody? Either way, it's

all down to you for the rest of your life.

That doesn't freak you out?

No. I'm excited about it.

I don't even know

why I ask you stuff.

I want you to stand

up and enjoy this...

What?

Man, you gotta take one of these.

What's that?

We're looking for

people for amateur night.

You're looking at the wrong people,

man. You need to be looking in the pool.

You got your pick of

the litter out there.

They look good, but we need

some men, and you fit the bill.

- No, no, no.

- Yeah.

'Cause I got my shirt off, you probably

judging by my amazing physique that

that's my cup of tea, it's not.

There's huge cash prizes. You

come down, you win some money...

- I'll take one.

- Bennett, sit your ass down.

Free hot buffet.

So, some hot chick

just rolls up on you.

She's like, "Do you mind helping me

with a little bit of suntan lotion?"

- What do you do?

- It'd never happen, but I'd stand my ground.

Hello, Blue Eyes.

I was hoping you could help me.

There's a couple of spots I can't reach.

I probably, probably shouldn't.

You probably should.

What, you're in a

relationship or something?

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

So am I.

- Really?

- This is Vegas, baby. Lighten up.

You heard her, Dom. It's Veg-Ass.

Vegas. Yep.

I love her.

All right.

Sweetie, sit down.

- Let me show you how it is around here.

- Okay, no.

'Cause my hands... I'm sorry,

did you just spit at me?

'Cause we gonna talk about that.

Excuse me, what is

going on? Talk to me.

Spit it out, Dom!

- It didn't...

- What didn't?

- She just wasn't quite...

- She wasn't what?

- She wasn't tall enough.

- Dom, let me tell you something.

You know that men spend their

entire life savings to go to Brazil?

You just had Brazil come over

here, and you're gonna turn it away?

You know what, y'all?

I'm sick of this Non-tourage.

'Cause that's what I'm with right

now. I'm gonna get me a new crew.

Ced, you being dramatic.

I'ma roll with some sailors

and some congressmen.

- Republicans!

- Shut up, Bennett!

You know, I'm done.

Turn up, that's what I'll

do. I'ma have me a good time.

- You gonna join the fun?

- Girl, you damn right I'ma join the fun!

Yeah!

See what I'm saying? Y'all wanna

sit over here on lounge chairs.

I'm about to get in the

water with some titties.

That's what I tried to give you, Mike. You

didn't want this life, I'm gonna take it!

It's too deep! I can't swim!

It's like Finding Nemo.

One of you b*tches grab me!

Should we help him?

Nah.

Help!

Turns out, I wasn't the only

one in need of rescuing.

Where was I?

The article.

Yes, yes, yes, the article

in the O Magazine.

They talked about all

the craziness that goes on

in these bachelor and

bachelorette parties.

I read the same article. And the women

are getting just as wild as the men.

With the Magic Mike

strippers and the bridesmaids dares.

Or faking an orgasm, you know.

All of that in a crowded bar.

Or doing Jello shots

off a stranger's abs?

I don't know why women can't

have just as much fun as men.

She's right. Getting a lap dance

at your bachelor party is expected.

But if women have fun...

You're whores!

- Did she just call us whores?

- Yeah.

Fortunately, I don't have to worry about

all that behavior with you, Candace.

All that girlish foolishness.

You're much too old for that!

Much too old.

I heard you the first "old".

So, what are you

guys gonna do tonight?

Nothing too wild, you know, just girl

time, you know, girls of the same age.

And cocktails at a couple

clubs. Maybe take in a show.

Good. Then you'll

have plenty of time.

Time? Time for what?

- I've gotta get away from her.

- I know, I know.

Anybody got any sleeping pills?

Don't worry. I can get rid of her.

- How?

- I can handle that old battle-ax.

Ladies, I've got another surprise.

We've got reservations tonight...

Excuse me. Miss Loretta, I am so

sorry to disappoint you, sweetie,

but we already have plans.

I was able to squeeze in a reservation

for five at Nobu. Corner booth.

- Isn't that a coincidence?

- How so?

Andre the concierge

was able to score reservations

for seven tonight at Nobu.

At the head table.

So we're going, girls!

I can't believe you

were gonna exclude Tish.

Damn, she's good!

Welcome to the rest of my life.

Okay, you guys, there's gotta

be something that we can do.

What does Miss

Loretta want or need?

She needs to get laid.

Wait a minute.

When does your Uncle Eddie arrive?

Didn't you say he flirted

with her at the couple's party?

- No, it will never happen.

- Never say never in Vegas.

Floyd "Money" Mayweather!

I'ma get my dollar sign...

Stop!

Floyd! Can you let

him go, man? Please!

- Let him go! Let him go!

- Bennett, get up!

He's way too aggressive!

Listen, Floyd, he didn't mean no

harm, man. He just a fan, that's all.

I follow you on

Twitter and MySpace.

That's all that is. Dude,

we didn't mean no disrespect.

We here, my friend's getting married.

We having a bachelor party tonight.

We gonna do it at the Caesar's

in the Constantine Villa.

Nice.

I'm just trying to splurge

and show him a good time.

That's what you

call $40,000 a night?

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