Think Like a Man Too Page #9

- I could have had all the money back, Dom!

Damn!

Guys, it's midnight. It's

midnight. Guys, guys, listen.

And this is not the

alcohol talking, guys,

this is the biggest day

of my life, gentlemen.

This is the day I get to marry

the woman of my dreams, man.

Come here, man. 'Cause

I know how you feel.

This is the 15th.

This is my wedding day.

And there's nobody

I'd rather be with.

Mike, you said today's the 15th?

- Yeah, the day I get to marry Candace.

- Oh, my God, that's a sign.

Mike, stop! I get it.

You're getting married.

People do it every day. Stop.

This is a sign!

- Of our love.

- Mike, will you shut up?

Please! Listen, I lost my

virginity when I was 15, okay?

On the 15th.

Me and Gail have been

separated 15 times. It's a sign!

God, I get it!

It's a sign!

Just calm down!

$10,000 on black 15.

- You're melting down! Get it together!

- Listen to me!

All that negative energy you're putting

in the air, take it out right now!

This is a sign. $10,000,

black 15. Right now. Move.

$10,000 on 15, table max.

- Don't nobody talk to me right now.

- We shouldn't let him do this.

- Cedric, are you serious?

- Zeke, don't talk to me no more.

Somebody say something else to me,

I'm gonna get really upset. It's a sign!

Are you letting him do this?

Black 15.

- Cedric.

- Black 15.

Black 15.

Black 15!

Black 15!

No more bets!

Black 15.

Winner, black 15, winner.

Yes, yes, yes! I told you!

$350,000!

I told you!

Cedric.

- You didn't win.

- Hold on, Zeke. Wait, stop, stop!

Where's my money?

I put $10,000 right there.

I was trying to help you, so

I made a safer bet for you.

- You did what?

- Remember what you said? Negativity...

So, I don't get the $350,000?

- Listen to me!

- Do I have $350,000?

Wait a minute, Ceddy.

Take it out of the air.

Hold on, Zeke. Hold on, man.

I'm gonna choke you out!

Get your hands off me!

I'm gonna kill you,

Zeke! I'm gonna kill you!

Get off of me!

I'm good. Get off me. Where's Zeke

going? I just wanna talk to him.

Zeke, run! He's coming after you!

It was the third quarter, and

it was still anybody's game.

I can't believe you

guys are hungry again.

We need our energy

after that performance.

- True.

- Look, it's midnight!

It's officially your wedding day!

Oh, my God, it is!

- What's wrong?

- It's all right to have wedding day jitters.

It's not that. I was just thinking, when

you marry someone, you marry their family.

And I can't marry Miss

Loretta. She hates me!

Hate is a strong word.

- And she is a strong woman!

- She's a b*tch.

Yeah, she is.

And no matter how hard he tries,

with a mother like Loretta,

Michael is always

gonna be a mama's boy.

Accept what you cannot

change, or it will destroy you.

My grandma Eleanor told me

that the day I married Bennett,

and it's gotten me through 15

wonderful years of marriage.

I feel like that's so passive!

What, did you just give up?

I believe that I can affect

change in my relationship.

You can, but you can't

change a man's nature.

- Exactly.

- She's right.

You can't force a man to do anything.

Gotta let it happen naturally.

So, basically,

I'm just wasting my time.

Nobody's saying you're

wasting your time.

You're still mad over

the Zeke the Freak thing.

Yes! No!

I'm not mad about that, it's just,

I feel like he's pulling away,

and every time I talk

about this wedding

or your dress or the fact

that I'm a bridesmaid,

he gets this look on his face

where he just looks horrified.

Maybe he's just afraid

of being married.

But I never said anything about getting

married, so why would he think that?

Probably because all his

friends are getting married?

All men are terrified

of getting married,

because it reminds them of everything

they're never gonna get to do.

"Tish, I think we

should try a threesome."

"Really, Bennett? Do

you know what that is?"

"Yeah, it's when two girls

and a guy freak dance."

Time out!

"Is that why you

need your inhaler?"

Ladies, we're not gonna

talk about fear of marriage

a few hours before my best

friend Candace gets married.

- Plus, we have that last dare to complete.

- Yes.

You, my friend, have to get a lap

dance by a hot, sweaty, steamy stripper!

Ladies' night. To the strip club!

Now, while the girls' team

seemed to be coming together,

my team was falling apart.

Look at us! Just stupid.

- Save me? I'm already saved, Zeke!

- All right, all right!

Guys, stop, stop! You're

ruining my bachelor party.

- He's ruining your bachelor party.

- I'm sorry.

What's up with you?

You guys said the Constantine Villa

should be more than $4,000 a night?

Well, it is. It's 40.

- $40,000?

- How, Cedric?

The day that he asked me to be

the best man, I booked the villa.

- For forty grand?

- Yes, for forty grand, Zeke.

You want me to say it again?

You want me to make it worse?

Yeah, but why would you

do that? You was drunk.

You were buying the

whole bar drinks.

- You don't think I know what I did?

- No.

Bottom line, I had everything under

control. I had the money on the table.

I had Gail off my

ass and everything.

- We gotta cut you off. Listen, stop.

- Yeah, I'll hold it.

- Just give me the damn bottle back.

- You're done. You're done.

- It's my fault. How do I make it right?

- I don't know, Zeke.

What do you want me

to say? I don't know.

World Series of Beer

Pong is at the Flamingo.

- Do you play?

- Champ of my dorm, baby.

Are you joking? You don't go

to a beer pong at a bachelor...

Guys, I got it! I know

how we can get the money.

Easy.

- You kept the stupid flyer?

- Bennett, you're a genius!

Oh, my God. This is it! The

Hustler Club. Ladies Night!

They're doing a big contest

for amateur male strippers.

$50,000 in cash and prizes.

This is bullshit. No way the

winner takes home $50,000 in cash.

- Who does this anyway?

- You're wrong, Dom, look.

1st place, $25,000. 2nd place,

$15,000. 3rd place, $10,000.

Great, even if you win and come in

first, you still don't have enough.

Guys, the first three

places add up to $50,000.

- We can do this, guys.

- We?

Come on, Ced. That's all

right. You've been drinking.

No, Dom, I'm not tripping. This

has got nothing to do with drinking.

- You're fishing.

- Zeke, you owe me!

If I ask you to take your little

black ass out there and shake it,

you, out of all people

here, are gonna shake it!

This is not fishing, this is

reality. We can pull this off!

I think we should do it. It could be

fun. You guys have really good bodies.

Baby oil on black skin always

brings out all your muscles.

Come on, please!

- I say we go for it.

- Thank you.

- I'd like to male strip.

- Yes.

I'm not doing it.

We're in Vegas. This is not going home with

us, guys. It's done. It's a one-time thing.

- Come on, y'all.

- Can't do it, man.

Dom?

There's no way.

Absolutely no way in hell

I'm going through with this.

My mama would kill me

if she saw me in this.

Help me with my fanny-pack.

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