This Is the End Page #11

Where is he?

Go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, get outside!

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t,

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Go, go on!

Come on, hurry up,

he's coming!

He's coming!

Watch out, watch out!

Oh, my fortress!

Uh, boys, I just want

to point out, um,

we're out

in the open now.

Oh, f***.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, hey, hey.

My Prius.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yes!

What is that?

No f***ing way.

We're screwed!

We're totally

screwed, guys.

I got this.

What?

I'll distract the thing.

I'll run over there

screaming and sh*t,

and that should give you enough

time to get to the garage.

Well, yeah, but that thing can kill you.

Maybe I deserve it. I've

been shitty my whole life.

Being selfish,

only doing sh*t for me.

Maybe it's only right

that the last thing I do

on this planet

isn't for me.

It's for you guys.

Craig, you don't have to do that.

Thank you

very much, Craig.

I appreciate that.

You spineless...

I love you guys.

You're my best friends.

You're a real

mensch, Craig.

See you on

the other side.

Hey, hey, a**hole!

Hey, come on!

Pickle dick,

demonic-looking motherf***er.

Nobody's scared of you.

You ain't a raccoon!

Yeah, bring

your ass, b*tch!

Nobody's scared of you!

I'm Craig f***ing Robinson!

Yeah.

What's he gonna do?

Craig.

I hope you like big dick,

motherf***er,

'cause I'm about

to f*** you raw!

For the last goddamn time!

Take your panties off!

F***, yeah!

It worked.

What's happening?

Craig! Craig!

Holy sh*t, do you guys

realize what this means?

That Craig was an angel this whole time?

No, no, it means we can

still be saved. No, no.

I don't f***ing get it, why

does Craig get saved? I mean...

Craig sacrificed

himself for us,

which means that

there's still hope.

That means we can be redeemed.

Yeah.

It means that if we're

actually nice to each other,

we can get sucked up into

Heaven, too. That's the deal.

All right, I got it,

let's just head out

to my place in Malibu.

Yeah.

Just survive long enough

until we do enough good things

and they accumulate

or do enough sacrifices,

and we'll all go

to Heaven together.

That's a great

idea, James.

Seriously, really, really good idea.

Really, you're

such a smart guy.

Thanks, Seth,

you're such a nice guy.

You got a great smile.

Thanks, man.

And an awesome laugh.

I've heard it's annoying. How

about that Jay back there, man?

Dude, Jay, you kidding me? Come on.

Oh, come on.

One of a kind.

Get out of here.

You got a cool body.

You can walk around with

your shirt off anytime.

It's not working,

this isn't working.

What, you thought we

would be Raptured already?

I thought it would

happen already.

No, we've just

been talking nice.

Talking nice doesn't

get you into Heaven.

Doesn't hurt to smile...

What the f***?

You guys okay?

Oh, sh*t.

Christ.

- Franco!

- Come on!

Yo, cut his f***ing

head off!

What's going on?

No!

Stop!

No!

Danny?

What the f***?

You guys are

still alive?

Yeah.

Holy sh*t,

I didn't expect that.

F*** out here.

Get...

Sh*t, I can't believe you guys are here.

Oh, Jesus.

That's f***ing crazy, and your timing

couldn't be more perfect.

It's been a long time

since any of us have eaten,

and you three gentlemen

look delicious.

What does that

have to do with us?

The f*** are

you talking about?

I'm a cannibal, hombre.

We're gonna

f***ing eat your ass.

F*** you, you can't

eat us. F*** that, man.

I do whatever the f***

I want, when I want.

I butt-f***ed this dude.

See that?

I f***ing slide

right in that sh*t.

I do whatever I want.

This is my gimp.

Channing,

introduce yourself.

Hey, what's up, guys?

Y'all cool?

That's Channing Tatum.

That's Channing Tatum,

dude. What the f***?

Channing f***ing Tatum. I found

him wandering on the freeway.

I collected him, made him

my b*tch. Get off my dick.

I call him

Channing Tate-yum.

Hard-core, man.

I got him trained good.

Watch, he does tricks.

Wait, shake hands.

All right, Seth.

F***ing roll over.

I'm gonna create a diversion. Yeah.

You and Jay make a run for it.

What?

Danny's gonna eat you.

Listen, full-on

sacrifice for you, dawg,

like the ending to Pineapple 2.

Yeah, lick that.

That's Channing

f***ing Tatum, dawg.

I love him.

That's f***ing G.I. Joe,

dude. F***ing loves me.

Danny! We're friends!

You can't eat us!

I'd love to catch up, but we're

f***ing starving, so let's eat!

F*** you!

Run!

Eat this!

Ow! Sh*t, f***!

Get him!

Who wants it,

you piece of sh*t?

Man, we should go back.

We should go back and help

him. We should go back.

F***ing Rapture.

Holy sh*t!

It worked!

What the f***?

Go to hell, McBride!

F*** you!

Suck my dick!

Ah...

Oh!

Oh, sh*t.

What happened?

What did I do?

Take me back!

What did I do?

I'll tell you what

happened, Franco.

You don't get to get

sucked up into Heaven

'cause you were being petty.

Tom Petty.

You may not have

invited me to your party,

but you're the guest

of honor at mine.

What?

How f***ing

crazy is this?

Seth, Jay!

Oh, sh*t, they're running after us.

Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t! Run.

Bring them to me!

F***.

Get 'em!

Got to get Rogen.

Over here.

What? Over here, over here. Here. What?

Sh*t, sh*t.

They're around

here somewhere.

They kept running,

you f***ing idiots.

Sh*t, are they

still there?

I think they're gone.

Are they gone?

Oh, my God. Why did

Franco flip off Danny?

Why did he have

to do that, man?

He was in the clear.

That is textbook.

Vanity or...

Is it vanity?

Vanity or envy.

Is it envy or wrath?

It's any of them, man.

You can't do that.

It's being a sore winner,

is what it is,

more than anything.

That's exactly what it is.

You can't be a sore winner. No.

Well, this is another fine

mess we found ourselves in.

F***.

Listen, Jay...

Oh, sh*t.

Get out of here,

let's get out of here.

Oh, you've got to be

f***ing shitting me!

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

That thing's big.

Holy sh*t.

Oh, it's so big.

Oh, man.

Oh, Jesus.

We're gonna die, man.

Okay.

Okay, we're gonna die.

Uh...

Jesus!

Oh, no!

Sh*t.

Listen to me, man.

I'm a f***ing idiot.

I put myself up.

I'm self-righteous.

I think I'm better than you. No, no.

I was resistant

to change.

No. I should have grown with you.

I should have

changed with you.

We should have

changed together.

I didn't like what I became

so I hated what you became.

It's fine, man.

It's fine.

I love you, Seth, f***ing love

you, buddy. I love you, man.

I always loved you.

Let's die together, man.

Let's die together.

I love you, Jay.

Holy sh*t, Jay,

all right!

Yeah, we did it!

I'm not getting

sucked up into Heaven!

What do you mean?

Why not?

I don't know why not!

Take my hand!

Okay, take me

with you, Jay!

I'll take you with me.

Ah!

Yay!

Yeah!

Ah!

Whoo!

Yeah!

It's working!

Yeah!

Oh, no!

He sees us!

He can't touch us!

We're in a force field!

Oh, sh*t! Sh*t!

It's not gonna

take me with you!

We're going down!

Keep holding on and you'll get

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