Three And Out Page #4

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Oi! I found this. I think it's them.

- No.

- Ever been to the Lakes?

... and I've spent all my money

on whiskey and beer

And now I'm returning

with gold in great store...

... no more

And it's no, nay, never

- # No, nay, never, no more...

- There.

Will I play the wild rover?

No, never, no more

I went into an ale-house

I used to frequent...

Well, it's not exactly

the country cottage she dreamed of,

but you can't have everything.

She'll be happy enough.

OK?

Oh, Jesus!

She doesn't seem

very pleased to see you, mate.

She'll run out of cups in a minute.

Hey, Rosemary. Ah, Jesus!

Excuse me.

- Mam. I got the afternoon off.

- Mam, where are you?

- In here, love.

Have we got visitors? Whose is that fancy c?

Frances...

Wow, is that you?

Frankie!

Now look what you've done.

What? All I did was say hello.

You can't turn up after eight years

and expect her to welcome you back.

- What was I supposed to do?

- You should have thought of that before you left.

Don't start in. I've only just got here.

And you're lucky I let you over the frontstep!

"Don't start in"?!

Eight years without a bloody word

and you think you can turn up here

in a fancy suit telling me what to do?

Start in? I'll bloody start in, all right.

Come on, Rose, I've driven

all the way from London...

Well, you can get back

in your stolen car and drive back there.

- It's not stolen, it's...

- I've heard it all before and I don't...

Listen, I'm...

I'm going to leave you to... I'll take a walk.

You'll want a cup of tea, I suppose?

Yeah, that'd be... that'd be grand.

Oh, best china here, Rose?

You're a guest. Guests get china.

Anyway, the rest is broken.

I thought you were dead, Tommy.

All the other times you always came back,

maybe a week later, maybe months, but...

you always came back to me.

And I was stupid enough to take you back.

I'm telling you, things are different now.

I'm different...

So, what do you want, Tommy?

- Can't I just...

- No, Tommy, you can't.

You can't just waltz back in here,

upset everyone, and disappear off again. No.

Which is exactly what you're planning, isn't it?

- Well, I...

- So, it's business as usual?

Well, I'm not having it, Tommy.

I'm not having Frankie upset like that again. Ever.

'Cause you have no idea what that little girl

was like when you left.

- If I could talk to her...

- You're too late, Tommy.

She won't have anything to do with you.

And what about you, Rose?

I'll hear you out...

and that's as good as you'll get.

You'll want a sandwich, I suppose?

- So, how's she doing?

- She's fine.

Well, as fine as any young girl can be.

I feel like putting up a sign outside,

"Beware of the Daughter".

That's my fault.

Yeah.

Well... Not all of it.

Ninety five per cent.

But, erm... is

she doing well at school, though?

School? She's twenty-two, Tommy!

I... I knew that. I meant college or...

She's working now. Up at the Travel Lodge.

Oh, right you are.

Boyfriends?

More than I know. You've seen her.

She's a fine-looking girl.

Takes after her mother, huh.

Just as well.

What's with

the fancy hairdryer, and stuff?

It's mine.

You need all that for your hair?

I'm a hairdresser.

You? A hairdresser?!

Mm. I found something I love doing

and I'm bloody good at it.

Just locals, mind, but...

- Extra money comes in handy.

- Well, I...

Fair play.

I could do with a bit of a trim meself, huh?

I could've done with a husband for the last eight

years, but we don't always get what we want.

And your man? The chatty lad. Who's he?

Ah, just a fella I know.

Bit of a sad sack, really.

Not too much

going on upstairs, you know?

I just thought I'd take him out for a bit.

What do you think of the suit, Rose?

You always liked me in a pinstripe, didn't you?

I did that.

But a fancy suit aside, you look like

five pound o' shite in a three-pound bag.

You don't look after yourself.

Where've you been?

What've you been doing?

- I...

- No. Don't answer.

I don't want to know.

That's enough about me, anyways.

How've you been? I mean, in yourself.

What, you mean after working at four jobs

to pay off the debts you left behind?

Struggling to put food on our daughter's table?

Me? I'm grand.

Actually, I am.

I've made a new life for us up here,

and for the first time in ages, I'm grand.

And I want to stay this way.

That my ring?

It is, yeah.

- You found it. How?

- Oh, just...

Don't ask.

I always wanted Frankie to have it.

Put it on.

It'll still fit you.

You haven't put on a pound since...

You're a bastard, Tommy.

You are a bastard!

Oh... Rose, Rose...

Oh...

- I was bored, all right?

- Bored?

You listen to me, you little sh*t. This is my time.

I've got 36 hours to do as I f***ing please.

Go and be bored somewhere else.

- Everything OK out here?

- Everything's grand.

Our Paul here was just wondering

where the local hostelry is.

It's over by the lake.

I'm surprised you didn't see it.

Oh. Thanks.

I'll go and take another walk, then.

- Why did you bring him here?

- Eh?

He's an arsehole. If you're

his mate you're an arsehole too.

- I'm not...

- Take him back to the hole he crawled out of.

- He's nothing to me.

- Is he bothering you?

No, I'm not.

No, leave him.

I want to hear what he's got to say for himself.

Yeah, well... if you need us, we're here.

I'm like a shark, yeah?

And what does that mean?

I think... like if...

If I stop swimming... I'll die.

Can you smell something?

- Come on, now, Rose.

- I know what it is.

- Bullshit, that's what.

- Well, what do you think I am?

If a shark is cold-blooded, selfish

and only concerned with its own needs,

- well, then you're not far away.

- Is that what you think I am?

Me? No. No, I think...

you're a lying, cheating scumbag,

who gambled away everything we had and more

and then disappeared without a word.

Not once, not twice, but three times.

You're the lowest of the low, and I...

I don't know why I have you in the house.

I guess that's not very good, then.

No, Tom, it's not.

If you don't really know him,

what are you doing here?

Research. I'm a writer.

Well, I hope you're

not writing about that shitbag.

- Unless it's a tragedy.

- No.

Nothing like that. I'm just

soaking up the atmosphere, really.

Looking for new ideas.

Only came along for the ride.

- He's a f***er, so watch yourself.

- He's all right.

I mean, no. Obviously he's a complete sh*t, but...

You must really hate him.

Did you never get on?

I guess so.

He was brilliant when I was little.

Just filled up the place.

Like a big bear.

And then, when he left,

there was like a big hole where he'd been.

So... a writer, eh?

Anything I might've read?

Erm...

no. Not yet.

- One day.

- Mm.

Ah. Another?

- What the hell is that?

- Get it down you.

Is there no chance

of them getting back together?

Mum and Dad? No way!

... around me

Inside I'm feelin', oh, so cold

Oh, yes...

So, tell me about London.

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