Three And Out Page #3

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That f***er owes me big time.

- This where you used to live?

- Yeah, lovely, isn't it?

- What you doing?

- I can't show up empty-handed.

Not after all these years.

What are you looking for?

Tell me what's going on.

That's a crowbar?

I thought you wanted a present.

Shut the f*** up, or you'll be using it

to get my foot out of your arse!

What the hell are we doing here?

It's none of your business.

I didn't ask you to tag along.

Oh, f***.

Stop pushing.

Will you get off of me!

Bloody hell, what are you doing?

That's breaking and entering.

Shut up and hold that.

Ah, f***.

Watch this.

No, no, no, no, don't...

Sh*t! Sh*t.

Get your hand off me arse.

Ow...

Hey! Hey! Paul! Come in.

Get in here, for f***'s sake!

Can you stop?

This is madness. Let's go.

Will you shut up!

This is mental.

What happens if we get caught?

There's no-one here. They won't

be back for hours from the club.

- Whose house is this?

- The Callaghans.

No! This could screw up everything. Come on!

You listen to me, you little f***er.

You've a choice to make.

Either do this my way or don't do it at all.

- I can always get someone else.

- Go ahead.

But you're not getting

your money back, oh, no.

I'm doing this whether you want to or not,

so if you want to f*** off, be my guest.

- I thought so. Are you done?

- Yes.

Shhh!

- Jesus!

- We've got to go! We've got to go!

Listen. They didn't hear me put the window

in downstairs, they won't hear us now.

F***.

She must be wearing it.

What?

Shh...

We'll have to use soap.

Should be some in there.

What the f***?

Oh, Jesus!

- Uh.

- If he moves, hit him.

Michael Callaghan!

You dirty, old bastard!

What the f***?!

Oh...

What are you doing down there?

- Hit him! Hit him!

- F***ing hell!

Uh...

Oh, f***, oh, sh*t...

- You...

- Oh, f***, oh, sh*t, oh, f***...

That's enough now, Paul.

Turned to burglary, Cassidy? That all you got left?

I just came for what's mine, Callaghan.

There's nothing here belonging to you, Cassidy.

Tommy Cassidy?

Jesus. What the bloody hell

d'you think you're playing at?

I'm sorry, Maureen. I just came for me ring.

- What ring?

- The sapphire.

What are you on about? Your ring?

It were an anniversary present, that.

- I've had it years.

- I know. You've had it nearly eight years.

I've heard enough. I'm calling the police.

- How do you know?

- He won it from me in a game of cards.

It was all I had left.

I'd just had it repaired for Rosemary.

Don't listen to him, Maureen,

he's talking out of his arse.

- Go on.

- I said I'd give him the cash,

but the f***er, he... took a shine to it.

Said he needed something for your anniversary.

I couldn't face Rose after that.

Bollocks, Cassidy. You're a

f***ing liar and I've heard enough.

Cards? Gambling? Lying?

Passing me off with your sordid winnings?

I tell you, Maureen...

He's a f***ing liar. I wouldn't, I swear.

I bought that. You saw the shop where I bought it.

Get it, Paul.

Leave it.

Put it away, you old fool. It's not even loaded.

Michael Callaghan.

You lying, conniving, cheapskate little toerag.

I always knew you were a rat,

but this is the lowest you have sunk!

Or is it? What else don't I know?

Owl

- Come back.

- Come on, mate. You're nicked.

Wait a second, I can explain.

Look, I'm a friend... I'm a friend of the family.

- Get in the car.

- This is a miscarriage of justice.

F***. Sh*t.

Oh, sh*t!

Back to square one.

- Hello, good morning.

- A single to London, please.

- Right, that'll be 107.50.

-

- Hello.

- Paul, mon cher. It is I, Maurice.

- Just leave me alone.

- Paul, it is your destiny to eat me.

Why not start with my ear?

Listen, I don't want to eat you,

neither your ear or your penis

or any other part of you. Do you understand?

Just f*** off and leave me alone.

Charming. Is that any way

to speak to your father?

OK, Paddy, your son's here.

- Hello, son.

- Hello, Dad.

You got two minutes, all right?

Where the f*** did you get to?

I hid. Once they got you,

they didn't seem bothered about me.

Never mind that now. Have you got the ring?

Yeah.

- What does that mean?

- I...

I thought I'd get caught. It would be

evidence. It was kind of a mistake.

- You didn't.

- It hasn't...

come out yet, but it shouldn't be

too long, I'm pretty regular.

That's going to be lovely, isn't it?

Don't strain yourself on my account.

The magistrates don't sit till Monday.

No, no, no, no. Oh, God.

There must be some way

of getting you out of here before Monday.

You known Tommy

and Callaghan a long time?

They used to work on my gang

on the railways. Nothing but trouble.

- What kind of trouble?

- With Tommy, it was usually the gambling.

Callaghan, well, he always

had an eye for the ladies.

- And still does. Dirty fecker.

- Does he now?

You've got a f***ing nerve coming here...

I'm asking you nicely. Will you

drop the charges against Tommy?

Save your breath for the law, son.

OK...

We all know what you're saving

your breath for, Mickey Callaghan.

Mary! Mary Loughlin.

How's your bollocks?

That rash cleared up, has it?

What are you doing here?

That's a funny thing,

I was talking to that lad there.

- He says he knows you.

- Knows me? He tried to f***ing rob me.

Knows you and your wife.

Forgot to mention her on bonfire night, didn't ya?

When you wanted to put your

big, fat rocket in me flower-pot.

Went off with a right explosion,

didn't it? Do you remember?

No? Shall we ask your wife?

All right, all right, all right.

Who'd have thunk, eh, you were so smart?

It's not funny. Jesus, Tommy.

What if I got nicked too?

You're going to screw everything up.

This was part of the deal.

Let me sort things out.

With your family, not some bloke

you used to play cards with.

Lighten up.

Isn't it about time you had a shite?

- It's all right. I cleaned it.

- I hope you washed your hands.

Shall we?

I don't know.

I'm not sure this is such a good idea.

I should just leave them some money.

That'd be more use than my apologies.

What's the worst that can happen?

She slams the door on you?

You've obviously never met my Rose.

So what?! I haven't come

all this way to watch you back out.

What happened to

"seize the day"? We're going.

And you're going to say whatever it

is you've come to say.

Come on. It'll be worth it.

How do I look?

- Ah... do... bu...

- What?

Are you f***ing my wife?

I don't know. Hang on a minute.

Eh, Sandra...

You married to an old Irish bloke?

No!

Sandra? Sorry.

I... I must have the wrong place.

- Who's it you're looking for?

- Rosemary and, er... Frances Cassidy.

Erm... Sheridan.

Used to live here, did they?

You don't know

where they might have gone, do you?

Hurry up, Derek.

We can't hold this position much longer.

We'll let you get back to your, er...

I'm really sorry but... it was a

long-shot after all this time.

- Let's go back to London.

- You need to have a little faith.

You shouldn't be so defeatist.

Something'll turn up, you'll see.

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