Threesome Page #2

I think you guys are being

too hard on it.

You're a business major. This is art.

The work is what's important here.

It's better to be honest

than to be nice, okay?

F*** me for being nice.

- Wait, Stuart.

- Just let him go.

It's better just the two of us.

A toast to bigger and better things.

A toast to bigger and better things.

Professionally or personally?

I was speaking professionally...

but as the big dude says, a man is happy

when he has both work and love.

The big dude?

Yeah, unfashionable

though he may be, Freud.

I love Freud,

unfashionable though he may be.

- I should go.

- No.

Come on. Just sit down for one second.

You mind if I change?

No.

I just really want everything

to be perfect for this moment.

Are we having a moment?

How about this?

That's perfect.

This?

Great.

They're both excellent choices.

I hate them.

It's kinda pointless.

Don't you think?

What is?

Putting on clothes.

When I just want to take 'em off.

Well, some people say it's pointless

to make your bed every morning...

just 'cause you're gonna

unmake it every night...

but I still think

it's nice to make your bed.

- My bed's made.

- Yeah. You did a really good job too.

- I'm gonna kiss you now.

- I should...

- What are you doing?

- Guess.

- Let's talk about this first.

- Let's not.

- Am I hurting you?

- No. Could you get off me now?

- You want me to get you off?

- No, I...

What are you doing?

- You smell good.

- Alex, I...

Alex, I don't know.

- I don't know if this...

- I think you're at a loss for words.

Eddy, come back!

- Then what did you do?

- I didn't know what to do, all right?

She kissed me,

and it snowballed into this insanity.

You didn't get anything?

You didn't look down her dress?

- Cop a little feel? Goose her? Nothing?

- No. I told her to stop touching me.

- Why didn't you just f*** her?

- Yeah, right.

The girl was on her knees,

undoing your fly with her teeth.

She's in the perfect position

to at least get a blow job.

- You wouldn't understand.

- You're right. I wouldn't understand.

The girl wants you to f*** her,

you f*** her.

Unless you're doing

the asexual thing.

- The what?

- It's a classic.

What are you talking about?

You act like you're a fag,

the two of you become good friends...

you start to share clothes,

she starts to confide in you...

and then, "boom,"

you go for her tits.

It's brilliant,

if you can pull it off.

Yeah, maybe that's what I'm doing.

Hi.

I think there's something

you should know.

I find libraries very erotic.

The smell of old books.

The silence.

The long aisles.

To be lost in the stacks.

That's very interesting.

- What are you reading?

- Hawthorne.

- Will you read to me?

- Alex, I've got to study for this.

Please, please, please.

"Soon there emerged

from under a sculpted portal...

the figure of a young girl...

arrayed with as much richness of taste

as the most splendid of the flowers.

Beautiful as the...

day...

and with a bloom

so deep and vivid that...

Oh, my!

one shade more

would have been too much.

She looked redundant with life,

health and energy...

all of which attributes were bound

down and compressed, as it were...

and girdled tensely

in their luxuriance...

by her virgin zone. "

Are you all right?

Golly...

I love big words.

Right there?

She came right there?

I think so. I don't know.

Don't tell her I told you, all right?

What do you think I am,

some kind of a sleazebag?

Then what happened?

- Nothing. I was reading.

- What were you reading?

Hawthorne.

Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Moby Dick.

That's good.

That's Herman Melville.

Whatever.

So?

So, Eddy, this is a major discovery.

This girl... She is a live wire

of sexual energy.

You're telling me.

Doesn't that excite you?

I mean, don't you want to just

take this girl and, like...

grab her and just f*** her?

Maybe.

There's no maybes about it.

The next time you're in that situation,

you slide her off that table...

and you pull up her skirt.

Rip her panties off

with your teeth.

With your teeth. That's good.

And then take your fingers... No.

At that moment, I was indeed

becoming sexually excited...

but not over Alex.

Then all of a sudden you just

shove it right in.

As Stuart went on and on,

I realized finally...

that it was he I lusted after.

Right when you're about to come,

just squeeze it at the end and...

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Stuart went on to say he had never

felt as strongly for any girl...

as he did for Alex, and since

I was indifferent, he had to have her.

He would stop at nothing.

Even if it meant being...

an intellectual.

What are you doing here?

Reading.

Stuart, have you ever set foot

in this library before?

In any library, for that matter?

Well, last time I checked,

the purpose for college...

was educational advancement.

Eddy told you what happened

yesterday, didn't he?

What are you talking about?

It's not gonna happen.

It's nothing personal.

There's just no magic.

So just cool it, okay?

You don't need magic.

Really? What do I need?

What you need...

is a long...

hard...

phantasmagoric...

f***.

- I don't like you, Stuart.

- That's okay.

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

You know, you really shouldn't

deprive the body of what it needs.

"Alexei Fyodorovitch Karamazov...

was the third son

of Fyodor Pavlovitch Karamazov... "

What are you doing?

Dostoevsky.

You try too hard.

That's your whole problem.

You were just about ready

to tap into something...

completely savage and emotional...

and you ruin it by trying to be

something you're not.

I'm sorry.

You're not an intellectual.

Accept it.

I accept it.

Now can we try this again? Please?

No!

Sh*t.

- I've been looking for you.

- You have?

- We need to talk.

- We do?

- Why are you backing away from me?

- I'm not backing away from you.

I'm just walking backwards

while you're walking forwards.

I forgive you for telling Stuart

about what happened in the library.

I apologize for my exuberance.

I don't apologize

for my exuberance!

I revel in it! And I wanna know

what the story is with you!

Why are you so standoffish with me?

Tell me.

Why won't you kiss me?

Why?

- Look, you see, it's--

- What?

- Never mind.

- What?

- I can't tell you!

- Tell me.

I'm sexually ambivalent.

Ambivalent about sex in general,

or ambivalent about sex with me?

Ambivalent about sex with girls.

You don't like girls.

I like them.

I just don't wanna have sex with them.

You know...

I suspected it.

You did?

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Let's go get a drink.

How many men have you been with?

- Alex, come on.

- Just tell me.

All right.

The truth is...

except for a few

botched attempts with girls...

I'm a...

You know.

Oh, God.

I haven't slept with anyone.

- You haven't been with a man yet?

- No, not with anyone.

Then you're not gay!

You're a blank slate!

I'll mold you into a heterosexual

with my bare hands.

Drama major.

Okay, fine. Just do me a favor.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes