Tiny Christmas Page #4

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Uh... we'll

send a text.

An S-O-S.

You jump on "S",

and I'll jump on "O".

But I want to do "O".

What?

[beeping]

Watch it, Tiny Tim!

This is fun!

I like this game.

Barkley!

Watch your feet!

It should not be

this difficult!

Total butt dial!

[text alert pings]

[groans]

This just got weird.

[groaning]

Auto-correct!

You are the bane

of my existence!

[incoming call ringing]

Dad?

Coming!

Hey! Look down!

-Timothy?

-Can you see me?

Are you on your way?

You're still

at the airport?

I-I didn't realize

the storm was that bad.

Well, it has to clear up soon.

Everything's ready

when you get here.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

[sighs sadly]

It's okay, Tinselpaws.

They know how much

this visit means to us.

We just have to wait

a little while longer.

[sighs]

I need some candy.

And we need a new plan.

Right, Barkley?

Barkley, where are you?

Mm...

It's so good!

Stop eating the calendar!

I can't stop myself.

It's so much yum.

I've eaten my weight in sugar.

My cavities have cavities.

My blood runs thick

with chocolate.

Uh...Barkley, this is bad.

Old lady's eating her feelings.

You've gotta get out of there.

No!

I won't leave my sweet babies!

We could stay in the calendar,

and live the sweet life,

the milk chocolatey life.

I need some chocolate.

She's coming.

You have to

get out of there.

Barkley!

She's gonna eat them all!

You've got to get out of there!

Don't worry!

I mean, how much chocolate

can she eat?

Chocolate-eating freak!

This one's mine!

[Barkley screaming] Whoa!

Not the dentures,

not the dentures!

Hey!

Don't eat my cousin!

Merry Christmas?

[screams in horror]

[screams]

[screams reverberate]

[sighs wearily]

I guess a good night's sleep

is something I'm not getting

for Christmas.

The snow's really coming down.

I bet it looks good

against all the lights I put up.

The girls should see this.

Crazy cat lady!

Come back!

You're our only hope!

Emma, look.

Wow.

It's snowing.

On Christmas Eve.

[sighs]

It's...

...beautiful.

I mean, you can

almost see

the individual flakes.

My dad did a good job

with those lights.

[cuckoo clock chimes 3:00 a.m.]

Clock's ticking.

What are we gonna do?

I've got the most epic idea.

Kids!

You gotta see this!

It's like

a winter wonderland.

Kids?

Yes, yes, an exterminator.

Two of them!

They were like tiny girls,

only scary.

Elves?

[gasps]

They were around the presents.

And one of them

had a magic bag

tied around its waist.

My cat saw them, too.

He might be able

to describe them better.

Hello?

Hello?

[gasping]

No, no, no, no, no...

Kids?

Kids!

Kids!

"Help"?

You are here.

Freeze!

Easy...

Is that tree loaded?

Maybe.

Who are you?

Elfonso,

the Elf... exterminator.

I heard you had

a little problem.

A very, very little problem.

Where did you see

the elf infestation?

The advent calendar.

They were on my chocolate.

Oh, no!

Great Caesar's Snowballs!

Are you in there, kids?

Hang tight!

I'll get some oatmeal

and prune juice,

and have you out

in a few hours!

[spluttering]

I did not eat them.

I don't think.

My stomach has felt

a little funny.

Probably just nerves.

Tonight has not turned out

exactly as planned.

Fear not!

Elfonso, the great Elf,

Gnome, and Leprechaun chaser

is on the hunt.

If they're here,

I'll find them.

[drone activating]

They can't escape

my expert eye.

Look out!

[quad-copter whirring]

[girls screaming]

It's them!

They're... flying?

That copter was

for my grandson!

Thieves!

Stop them!

The remote.

No!

No, no, no, no,

no, no, no!

No!

If you don't mind?

Give it to me!

[arguing]

No!

Give it to me!

Give it to me!

[screaming]

[arguing]

Give me that!

You can't!

They'll crash!

[screaming]

[gasping]

Elf ears...

You're one of them!

[screaming]

[groaning]

Christmas... still hard.

Emma?

Em?

Emma?

Where are you, Em?

[]

My snot has turned

to snow boogers.

Well, that plan

went bust.

You think?

We're done.

We'll never

make it now.

Don't worry, cuz.

I got a plan.

Two words,

snowball...

cannon.

Please stop.

Wait,

is "snowball cannon"

three words?

Who cares?

It's crazy!

Like riding quad-copters,

or wearing fanny-packs,

or tickle-feathers.

The only reason we're here

is 'cause you wanted

to hang my stocking

from a DVR'd Fireplace!

I just wanted to help.

Well, stop,

'cause your help

isn't helpful.

It's a disaster.

It's no wonder you never had

a walkie-talkie buddy.

You're right.

I pushed too hard.

I had to go

full Barkley.

It's just that my parents

are always on the move,

and I've never had

a real Christmas,

so I wanted this

to be special.

You know, with stockings

hung by the chimney,

and presents

under the tree,

and family and friends.

I've never even had

a real friend.

But when I met you,

I thought that maybe...

It's stupid.

No, it's not stupid.

I'm just being a Grinch.

I needed a friend, too.

I never expected...

this, exactly, but...

it's growing on me.

And not totally

in a fungal way.

[laughing]

I should've just

hung my stocking

from the stupid TV.

It really is a great stocking.

Mom made it.

She rocked Christmas.

Every year,

she got my dad these

insanely hideous sweaters.

Itchy, disgusting ones.

[chuckles]

I got my dad one

this year,

for old times sake.

It's so gross.

It's under the tree

right now.

She loved Christmas

so much.

It hasn't the same

without her.

Maybe not the same.

But it doesn't mean

it can't be good.

You're right.

It's Christmas,

anything's possible!

Especially with a friend

who's got your back.

I feel a heartfelt

hug coming on.

And right back

to full Barkley.

Oh, you know

you love it.

Hey!

[screaming]

[wincing]

You can hear us?

[quietly] Elf ears.

Upside,

super-sensitive.

Downside,

impossible to find earmuffs,

and headphones.

The elf,

he's talking to us.

I'm really sorry

about the whole

shrink-ray-snafu.

Totally my bad.

I'm a tech guy.

I usually work

behind the scenes.

I've never even been

up this late on Christmas Eve.

We are so doomed.

But I am gonna Christmas-up,

and save the day.

We are going to your house

to find my unshrinking goggles.

Ah! Easy with the grip

there, fella!

Blech!

Sweaty-hat-head!

Dude needs some

serious conditioner.

Yeah, but have you

felt this elf skin?

So smooth.

Like a baby.

What, are you

Irish dancing in there?

You're making me itch.

Again, conditioner.

What are you doing?

[yelps in fright]

How could you possibly

have gotten here so fast?

You're like a granny ninja!

See, Tinselpaws?

I'm not crazy!

I caught the elf!

Now, where is

my grandson's toy?

Toy?

Um...

Look!

A flying reindeer!

-Huh?

-See ya!

Stop!

Kids!

Run for the house!

I'll distract her!

[yelps]

[growling and fuming]

[gasping for air]

We should

do something.

He's a big boy.

Big enough to not be

eaten by owls.

[owl hoots overhead]

Unlike us!

[screaming]

There you are, toy thieves!

She really is

a granny ninja.

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