Tiny Furniture Page #9

---

off Craigslist.

"I better watch it.

I'm a little worried about me.

I am not behaving

in a rational manner.

I am creating enemies

left and right.

Alienating people,

particularly Michelle.

I just got afraid that I was

similar to Ed, the landlord.

Here's a new list

of things I want:

A violin bow, a lover - and please

let it work to make me happy.

My luck in love

is always so poor.

To start getting

my art together...

to weigh 128 to 125

and be happy...

a toe operation,

a dulcimer, a black beret...

sunglasses, new journal,

the floor sanded...

to learn to use a dark room,

and to make little movies...

ones that have me in them. "

- You okay?

- Mm-hmm, I'm okay.

My lower back feels

like it's about to spasm.

How do I look?

Positively model-esque.

Where are you going?

Some Dalton party.

I like it when you go out because...

I do not like what happens

when you stay in.

Mom, Charlotte put my video

in this opening in Dumbo...

and I'm gonna go, so that means

neither of us will be here.

You gonna be okay?

She's just gonna watch

Rachel Maddow, eat macaroons...

and lay on the heating pad.

I'll be fine.

- I'm nervous.

- Well, don't be.

It's more like a salon

than a gallery.

But what if my work isn't right

for an art context?

I think everything's

right for every context.

- And you can quote me.

- Also, I texted the chef.

Oh, that's why you're nervous.

Oh, my God, and my mom

will not stop calling me.

Ignore. Ignore.

Doesn't it look great?

I don't know. There's no sound.

No, but the placement is beautiful.

Plus, you're just so concerned with

having things look polished and perfect.

Any exposure's good exposure.

I guess.

- Oh, my God. There he is.

- Who?

Philippe.

He curated this whole thing.

Oh, my God. You don't know

what I would give to f*** him.

Him?

He is old like a dad.

No. You have to get what I'm into.

Who is it?

Oh, my God. Hi.

- Hi.

- Mm!

Oh, my God. Hi.

Oh, whoa! You're here!

Well, I figured I had to

track you down somehow.

You didn't text me back the address...

so I've literally been wandering

around the neighborhood for an hour.

I'm so sorry.

You look beautiful.

- Where's your piece?

- Oh.

It's just the college fountain video.

You've seen it before.

I love that one.

- I'm Charlotte.

- Oh, of course.

- I've heard a lot about you.

- Oh, yeah. Childhood tales.

Aura likes to make it sound

like I was the naughty one...

but she was such a selfish c*nt.

But, you know, all relationships

have a mythology, don't they?

Do you have a piece

in the show as well?

No. I curated the thing.

One.

Nice outfit.

Charlotte dressed me.

I guess we're not in Kansas anymore.

Did you throw out your clogs?

I didn't.

I mean, they're somewhere.

I don't know where,

but they're somewhere.

How's staying with Steph? I feel like

her newfound lesbianism would be a huge -

If we're really gonna talk,

we should just go somewhere.

What do you mean?

I just feel as though we have

some things to discuss.

Like what?

Aura.

You decided you didn't want to

live together, and that's fine...

but you told me

the day before I arrived...

after barely responding

for weeks to any of my calls.

I didn't decide

I didn't want to live together.

I told you my mom

actually needs me.

And that's totally okay...

but I haven't been able

to reach you for so long.

What is going on?

Chef sighting.

F***ing chef sighting.

- Oh, my God. Where?

- He's here. He's over there.

- No way.

- Yeah.

- What do I do?

- Just go over and say hi...

- and, you know -

- Ask if he wants to see my video.

No, he doesn't want to see

your f***ing video.

So I'm gonna go.

- Frankie?

- No, I mean I'm gonna go.

We're talking.

And you can call me

when you want to.

All right?

Like, if you can find a spare moment.

God, she's such a drip!

Oh!

Hey.

I did not think you'd come.

Well, my day off.

I didn't think you'd quit.

Yeah, well, I quit.

F***in' A, man.

You want to get outta here?

Yes.

So your girlfriend

let you out of the house?

She's working tonight...

but, uh, it's complicated.

Complicated how?

I don't really call her

my girlfriend anymore.

Since when?

Since I f***ed one of her friends

from beauty school.

Gotcha.

Kohlrabi.

Kohlrabi's

a really f***in' stupid food.

Everyone's always trying to do all this

fancy sh*t with it, like kohlrabi mousse...

and kohlrabi syrup,

but it's not even really f***in' food.

It's just ra- It's just rabbit food.

- What?

- I just thought it was so funny...

the way you said it, you were like,

"Kohlrabi is a really f***ing stupid -"

I've never even heard of kohlrabi.

It's just so cool to me that

you have, like, a thing, you know?

That's your thing.

Like, food is your thing.

I think I'm really high.

That'll happen.

I shouldn't.

- Okay.

- Listen, I'm still living with Jessica...

and I feel like I should keep it

in my pants, you know?

- Hmm.

- Just until we're formally -

Yeah, of course. Sorry.

Ow!

Let's walk.

- You're kneeling on my foot.

- Sorry.

- No, I kind of like it.

- Dirty b*tch.

Sorry.

Boss me around a little bit.

Okay. S-Suck it harder.

Oh, f***!

Your phone keeps ringing.

- You don't have AIDS, do you?

- No. Do you?

Hmm-mm.

- Do you have herpes?

- No. Do you?

No.

Pull my hair.

I hope you don't judge me too harshly

for having f***ed you in a pipe.

No harm, no foul.

Sh*t! That's my boy.

- What?

- Shh!

It's not him.

It was this guy who used to work

with Jessica's sister, you know?

So you were attempting

to hide me behind this car?

No harm, no foul.

You said that, like,

seven times tonight.

I should probably go.

Okay.

I'm just gonna catch a cab.

- I'll see you soon?

- See you later.

Hi, Mommy.

What's up?

What, are you mad at me?

What do you think?

I'm home now, okay?

I'm about to take out the trash.

I took it out already.

What about your back?

What about my back?

It really hurts.

So you didn't have to do that.

I told you I was coming home.

Since when do you do any of the things

you say you're gonna do lately?

Okay, we've had this conversation.

I don't want to have to say this

over and over. I'm figuring it out.

Oh, my God.

"Mom, I'm figuring it out.

Mom, I'm on it.

Mom, I'm all over it. "

I am so sick of your words.

Come on.

Do you like living here?

That is such a ridiculous question.

I love living here.

Well, I don't think you love it

as much as you think you do.

Boss me around a little bit.

Can I come in?

Mm-hmm.

Do you want me to rub

your back for a minute?

Mm-hmm.

Do you want me to tell you

where it hurts?

No, I can figure it out.

You know, if filmmaking

doesn't work out...

you could always be

a massage therapist.

You have a v-

very intuitive touch...

kind of like my sister.

Do you remember when I was little,

and I wanted to be a makeup artist?

Mm-hmm.

Your poor babysitters and Nadine.

You said I would be something

better than a makeup artist...

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote