Tiny Furniture Page #8

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f***ing nonsense, you know?

It's no big whoop. And that's how

it's supposed to be, you know?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

By the way, you do sweat the bed.

I don't.

Probably more than

the average female, I would say.

What's up?

You get him out of our house.

- What?

- I want him out of my home.

He's not doing anything.

He's only been in my room.

He's in my laundry room

mixing lights and darks.

- He doesn't have any other place to go.

- That is not my problem.

You are not even having sex

with that person.

I am going out

with Jane and Pierre tonight...

and when I return, he is gone.

- Fine.

- You're late for work again.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- What's up?

- Not much.

You?

Same sh*t, different day.

I thought you'd made

that expression up,

but it turns out

it's just something people say.

Yeah, look.

I'm sorry about last night, all right?

I couldn't get out of the house.

My girlfriend went crazy. She found

these texts that my ex wrote and -

Can I tell you a secret?

- F***ing hate this job.

- Yeah, so do I.

As soon as I get a big enough nut,

I'm gonna quit.

I think I might quit today.

Like, now.

I'm really sorry.

Yeah. I just figured, you know...

an artist, an open lady, you know.

I think you made her out to be

a little bit more...

relaxed than she really is.

I'm really sorry.

I mean, I would totally understand...

if you were mad at me,

and I hope that you're not.

Yeah. I just think you should -

I think you should make sure you can deliver

something before you promise it, you know?

Well, I didn't, like, not deliver.

I mean, you stayed in the house

for a week, but -

No, I know. You're totally right.

So... I'm sorry.

And I hope that we can

hang out more before you go.

Okay. Well, we'll see.

I'm staying all the way in Queens,

which is a bit of a trek, but -

- Okay.

- We'll see.

All right.

I'm a cowboy at dusk.

Bye.

Hey, what's up?

Where's Jed?

- Mom made me kick him out.

- Ooh, bummer.

Is it okay if I have

a few kids over later?

- How many is a few?

- I don't know. Like, six or something?

What the hell is going on here?

More kids came than I thought

were gonna come.

Uh, yeah, I should say so.

There's, like, 25 kids here.

Mom's not gonna be home till 1:00.

It's not that big a deal.

Maybe it's not a big deal to you.

It's a big deal to me.

Having drunk minors

in the house is a liability.

No one here is drunk.

Oh, my God.

You've got to turn the music down.

I'm not in charge of the music.

Excuse me.

You have got to turn the music down.

What?

You have got to turn the music down.

- I came as soon as I could.

- They're out of control.

Don't worry. Wrangling

teenage boys is a specialty of mine.

The problem isn't the volume.

It's that there's nothing danceable.

You guys are playing all this sh*t.

How about something to move to?

Oh, my - Oh!

And if you get a f***ing boner,

I'll kill you.

- Charlotte, please come with me.

- I can't move to this.

I just can't move.

Holy sh*t.

God, they are out of control.

- You were right.

- Oh, really?

Yeah, they're really being bad.

Look, what can I do?

Do you want something to eat?

Listen, I want something to eat.

Let's go into the kitchen.

Let's scrum into the kitchen

and get a crust of bread or cheese.

I feel very hot

and dizzy and constricted.

Right, yeah.

Well, um, we can fix it.

Nadine?

You are going to listen

to me right now.

Do you hear something?

I just hear absolutely nothing.

Yeah, I just got a picture of your sister

and her friend walking by. No pants.

Haven't you ever been

to the beach, you silly sod?

You are going to come into the kitchen,

and you're going to talk to me.

- Nope.

- Come with me now.

I'm not speaking to you.

Like hell you're not speaking to me.

- What?

- I don't get why you care.

- You don't get why I care?

- No, I don't get why you care.

I think the issue is that

it reflects badly on Aura's authority.

You know what else reflects badly?

Walking through my party

with no pants on.

- That's a good point.

- So you admit it's a party?

I admit it's humiliating

because you're so desperate...

that you crave attention from

17-year-old boys, that's what I admit.

Okay, you can be mad about the way I handled

this or whatever, but this is your bad.

There are 25 kids here.

They are drinking. They are making -

And you're so desperate

it's disgusting...

and you put yourself on YouTube

so millions of people can see you...

and that homeless guy who was staying

in our house wouldn't even f*** you.

And to be honest, I'm ashamed

we have the same mother.

I'm ashamed

because you disgust me.

You f***ing disgust me!

- Don't talk to me like that.

- Don't hit me!

Don't hit me because it doesn't hurt!

I think this is wildly unnecessary.

You two are both artic...

I don't like to get mad at people

who aren't in my family...

but no one cares what you think.

- Do not -

- Don't hit me again.

Go to your f***ing room.

Go to your f***ing room!

Charlotte?

Charlotte?

Charlotte, will you move over

just a little bit, please?

Mom.

- Mom.

- Hmm?

Were there any kids here

when you got home?

No, no kids.

- Mom?

- Hmm?

Charlotte is asleep in my bed,

and she's taking up the whole thing...

- and it's making me really sad.

- That's good.

Mom?

I took an Ambien.

Can I sleep in here?

No room.

Nadine?

What? What?

I'm really sorry about earlier, okay?

You just put me in a really bad position.

Okay, it's fine. It's fine.

- Nadine?

- What?

- I love you.

- Love you too.

No! No!

Shh!

- Hi!

- Hey.

I'm literally packing

the last box as we speak.

This may be

the first time in my life...

that I'm completely ready

for something.

I just quit my job.

At the restaurant?

Didn't you just start?

Yeah, well,

it was really boring, and shitty...

and I have a college degree...

so I didn't really see any reason

to continue with that.

We picked the worst

possible time to graduate.

But the good news is

rents are lower...

so we can find a place

that's in our price range...

that isn't, like, a total roach motel.

Frankie, I don't feel like this is

the best time for me to do this.

If it's a financial thing,

my dad said that he can...

cover security and first month's...

and you can just get us back later.

I mean, it is that.

It's definitely that, 'cause I don't have

a job anymore. But it's also not that.

My mom is becoming, you know,

sort of dependent on having me around.

I help watch the house.

I take care of Nadine.

And I really had trouble

making this decision...

but I realized it's the best thing

for me to be at home right now.

And I feel pretty guilty going.

Okay.

And you couldn't have told me

about this a little earlier?

I get there tomorrow, Aura.

I kind of didn't know until today, and I

figured that you're staying with Jess...

so you're not gonna be completely

homeless when you get here.

Yeah, temporarily.

But I need a roommate.

Craigslist?

Someone just got murdered

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