To the Bone Page #3

hot.

I can't stop thinking

about how many calories are in that drip.

- They won't say.

- Fifteen hundred.

I looked it up.

I was tubed a couple times.

Ellen, we try not to crosstalk.

We don't talk about numbers

or weight or anything like that.

- Sorry.

- Fifteen hundred?

How are you feeling

right now, Pearl? It's okay.

I don't know. Just...

that it's hard getting better.

And I'm guessing that you're worried

about how you're gonna be burning it off,

especially when everybody's here

watching you?

Do you know why you feel that way?

- Because I... have an addiction?

- In a way, yes.

When the exercise and the rituals kick in

and... the cyclical thoughts

about weight take over,

everything else goes away.

And starving yourself

can make you feel euphoric,

like a drug addict or an alcoholic.

It's not about "thin enough," right?

There's no "thin enough."

It doesn't exist.

What you crave is the numbing

of the thing that you don't wanna feel.

And we give you a lot of rope here.

It's scary, but only you can decide...

to see what's good, to be alive.

- You understand?

- Kind of.

- I'm trying.

- Yeah, you are.

Talk to me, brother.

My victory was leading

a fantastic house tour...

and earning another point,

which means I get to go to Guelaguetza,

Oaxacan restaurant,

number 26 on Mr. Gold's essential 100.

And affordable, which is also essential.

Ballet companies don't pay you a fortune.

That's great.

Talk to me about your struggles.

Don't know, really. I guess

I'm obsessing about my injury

and... if I'll be able to perform

when I get get out of here.

- But I've got a goal. So, that's good.

- You have a couple of goals.

Eating Oaxacan and getting healthy

so you can dance again.

Damn straight.

I've got goals coming out my wazoo.

Ellen?

Struggle, um...

Coming here.

I mean,

accepting that I have to come here.

So, maybe your victory

is that you're here.

Hmm?

Yeah, maybe.

Did Luke explain about meals?

No. By the time we got to that,

he was onto some musical thing.

- Sugar blues

- That.

Everybody's singin' the sugar blues

- Sugar blues

- Luke.

Eat what you want.

If you have special food,

like Kendra here does, that's fine.

- We'll get it for you.

- That's it?

No, you're definitely judged.

When you eat, points magically appear.

What he means is, if you're maintaining

or moving towards your goal,

you go up a level.

- How you do it is up to you.

- Really?

Yeah, but no one leaves the table

at mealtime,

and bathrooms are locked

for 30 minutes after.

And there's no point pretending to eat

or throwing up into the plants

or whatever.

It smells, and it doesn't end up

on the scale.

Got it.

- Thank you, Lobo.

- De nada.

- All right. Who wants to say grace?

- Oh, sorry.

- Dear Jesus...

- Take us to church.

Allah, Oprah, My Little Pony,

or whoever your personal savior is...

help us to give our bodies what they need

to grow strong and beautiful

because every single person

at this table deserves to live.

- Mm.

- Amen.

Bon apptit.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

This is so f***ing good. Oh, my God.

Pearl?

You freaked her out with the 1500 thing.

I mean, it's not your fault...

- I didn't mean...

- Oh, no, no, no. It's not your fault.

I mean, don't stress.

- How many in-patients have you done?

- Four.

Six. The rest of these guys,

they have no idea.

I mean, Pearl's not actually just upset

about the tube. She might get kicked out.

Seriously? I mean, she looks pretty sick.

No, Dr. Beck says that hospitals

are for sick people.

We're here to get over that sh*t.

Ice cream's my favorite.

- It comes up the easiest.

- How do you know you got it all?

When your barf is clear

and it doesn't burn anymore.

Oh. I wish I could barf.

I'm only good at the binging part.

- You purge?

- I tried. It's not my thing.

So, how do you get rid of it

if you can't barf?

- It's gross.

- Tell me.

Your ponies wouldn't want you to cry.

Hello Kitty wouldn't want you to cry.

The unicorn on the stairs

wouldn't want you to cry.

Hey, there.

- Settling in?

- Yeah.

- Where's everyone else?

- May I?

Okay.

Anna went to the movies.

Points.

Cool.

I'm having your family come in

for a group session tomorrow afternoon.

It's standard when I see new patients.

If it's productive,

we'll do it from time to time.

Okay.

- Even my mom?

- Even Mom.

Wow.

I told her it takes me longer

to drive in from the Valley

than it does to fly from Phoenix.

Okay, kiddo.

Glad you're here.

I didn't mean it.

I... I mean, I didn't mean

for my drawings to do what they did.

- What?

- On Tumblr.

I know Susan told you what happened,

and... it'll come up, I bet.

Right.

I was just doing

what all my teachers told me to do.

Draw what you know?

- Yeah.

- I hear you.

Just keep it for yourself, for now, okay?

Okay.

Good night.

Oh. Sweaty.

I ran home from the movies.

Don't tell anyone.

Okay.

- What movie did you see?

- Oh, um...

They were playing Shaun of the Dead

at the New Beverly with Zombieland.

- No way.

- Yeah.

Emma Stone's kinda fat.

Don't you think?

Oh, no, I think she's just big-boned.

She's, like, at least, a size six.

- Anyway, 'night.

- 'Night.

Mutually assured destruction.

Right.

I'm breaking 120 today, dolls.

- Is that going up or down?

- Up. Eighty-nine when I came in.

Eighty-nine? How tall are you?

You're a beautiful unicorn.

- You, cheer captain, come on.

- All right.

Let's do this.

Megan's been gaining. She's flipping out.

But, I mean, she wants to,

I think, for her baby.

- She... She's pregnant?

- Oh, nobody said?

- Jesus, I didn't even think about...

- I know.

That's why Luke calls her "the unicorn."

She gets her period once and gets pregnant

off some guy she barely knows.

I'm never having a baby.

No way.

Where are you?

That's probably Dad, right?

- Making some excuse.

- Yeah, annoying.

- I heard them fighting this morning.

- Great.

That's great.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Mom...

You... You look like a ghost.

It's okay.

Why?

Mom, it's okay, it's okay.

My God.

- No dad?

- I'm sorry, work.

Well, he has to support his family...

and pay alimony, still,

and the medical bills and...

Understood.

Bet you didn't expect

this much "gynergy" today.

I do think this is a record number

of mothers for one patient.

Okay, I want everybody to understand

nobody's on trial here.

I just want to get a sense of the family.

Well, until recently, Ellen lived with us.

She moved in with her father

18 months ago.

We thought it might be good for her

to heal that relationship.

He's shown little interest

in who Ellen really is.

He's only interested

in who he wants her to be.

Ellen is an artist.

She's extremely bright and sensitive.

She was never going to go into Chinese

- or computers or what have you.

- What?

Is that what you think

your dad wants for you?

I don't know. I guess... I think he just

wants me to be able to make a living.

- Exactly. Is that a crime?

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