To the Bone Page #4

- No crimes, remember?

The point is, Ellen's father

never saw who she was.

He left when she was very young...

Yeah, because you were sleeping

with your best friend over there.

- No, that's not why the marriage ended.

- There's a better reason?

We are not here

to defend our relationship.

When are you going to come up

with a different narrative, Susan?

- What narrative?

- What narrative?

- Susan...

- No, this is the truth.

- Jack didn't wanna have sex.

- Well, he likes it with me just fine.

- Twice a week, like clockwork.

- Oh, my God.

Besides, he's not the one

who abandoned her.

We did not abandon Ellen.

We moved to Phoenix.

They threw her out.

They put her bags on the street.

Because we'd been dealing

with Ellen's illness alone for years.

I didn't abandon my daughter.

I love her more than life.

I just didn't know what to do.

She's dying right in front of us.

What's going on with you right now?

I'm sorry...

that I'm not a person anymore.

I'm a problem.

- And it's all my fault.

- F*** fault.

Fault and blame have no place here.

Only how you wanna live, moving forward.

Who you wanna be.

How about you, Kelly?

What do you think of all this?

Um... I, uh...

I feel kind of angry, I guess.

I just... I just don't really...

Really get it.

You know, just... eat.

I don't know. It's just like... It's not

her life that she's just missing out on.

It's...

It's my life, too.

You know, I don't get to have...

a sister.

You know, I look at pictures

of my prom and stuff, and...

and all I think of is, like,

"Oh, that's when...

Ellen was in the hospital," or...

"That's when she fainted on the bus."

All right.

And all of my friends,

they think that she's some kind of freak.

- Like, a freak who killed a girl.

- Because of the blog?

- Tumblr.

- Yeah, and that's bad enough,

but now, people wanna be like her

and look like her

and go through what she's going through.

Nobody died

because of Ellen's artwork, okay?

There's plenty of stuff out there

for people to fetishize.

But that certainly didn't help,

to have notoriety for starving...

But that's what I'm saying.

- Ellen has talent.

- I didn't say she doesn't.

But if you hadn't made her

take her artwork away from her audience,

she might have found her voice.

Ellen took it down herself

after that young woman died

because she knew

it was the right thing to do.

- You are so full of sh*t, Susan.

- What?

Do you even hear what Judy is saying?

A young women died.

- No, no, no.

- Meet me in the car.

I'm sorry, we just...

We just can't take you with us right now.

- We're gonna miss our plane.

- Okay, all right.

- All right?

- Okay.

Ellen... be strong, okay?

Hey, I'm really sorry

if I got you in any sort of trouble...

- Please, no, I'm sorry. I hate that...

- No, no, no, it's... it's whatever.

You can forget it.

What a sh*t-show.

You really need to get better so you never

have to see those people ever again.

If you die...

I will kill you.

Okay. I'll see you.

See ya.

- Dinner.

- I'm staying up here.

You don't have to eat, but the rule

is that everyone has to sit down.

Have you been thinking

about baby names?

Not yet.

I have a whole list of favorites

that you can have.

I was actually considering a new moniker.

- What about Dean or Tex?

- When I get out of the first trimester.

Do you want to get out

of the first trimester?

- Jesus, Luke.

- Stay out of this, Mia.

This is between us rexies.

She knows what I'm talking about.

I don't know. I'm terrified.

It just feels so... out of control.

But it's kind of a miracle, you know?

'Cause I didn't think anything

was working down there. So, maybe...

I'm supposed to have this baby.

And I want to.

I just want to think about something

besides me for once.

Amen, sister.

- We should have a baby shower.

- No, I don't wanna jinx it.

- No, please. A shower would be so cute.

- Yeah, no.

All right, fine. Maybe.

- If I get past 12 weeks.

- Yay!

Well, we're gonna help you make it past.

Every bite you take feeds the miracle.

Pass the potatoes.

- Oh, my God...

- Are you sure?

- I don't know.

- Here they are.

- Just don't talk.

- Here they are.

- Miracle potatoes.

- Miracle, miracle potatoes.

- I like that.

- Pretty good.

How about the newbie? How you doin'?

Finished.

- What happened?

- She had family therapy today.

- Oh.

- Makes sense.

Mm-hmm.

Hey. I missed dinner.

I found your barf stash.

Keep this to yourself

and I'll get you some laxatives.

- I don't... I don't use...

- Come on, I know you want them.

You think I haven't seen

that thing that you do?

What thing?

Making sure your arm doesn't get bigger

than, what, a silver dollar?

Deal.

Cigarette for dinner.

- That's not gonna get you points.

- Not in the mood.

Okay.

And who in hell made you

house den mother?

You walk around here

like you've got it all figured out.

Well, if you're so fixed and special,

why don't you go back

to New Jersey or London

or wherever the f*** you're from?

I am going back,

as soon as my BMI's closer to my age.

But right now,

I'd rather try and help people

than mope about feeling sorry for myself.

You have no idea how I'm feeling.

- I never said I did.

- And what? You wanna help people?

What are you, a doctor now?

- You feel pretty proud of yourself?

- Yeah, I am, actually.

I'm moving the needle

in the right direction.

Sorry if that scares you.

But people actually go home sometimes

and have a life,

even people with f***ed-up families.

Yeah. There goes

that f***ing excuse again, huh?

Enter.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Don't be all pleased with yourself.

Wow. I never thought I'd meet anyone

more defensive than I am.

And yet...

So, you've been here awhile.

Six months.

- Is that you?

- Hard to believe, I know.

I didn't mean that...

Yeah, I can tell that it's you.

Incredible.

You know what it's like to be 19

and feel like you've already peaked?

Um, a relief.

No. I loved it.

I could push it and push it.

And then I broke

and went batshit, obviously.

But my knee's getting better,

and my company director says

he'll have a place for me

as soon as I get my act together, so...

- It's my drawing.

- Yeah.

I printed it off your Tumblr,

like, a year ago.

That's why I acted like such a spaz

when you first got here.

- You're like my...

- You're muse?

Shut up.

I just figured, somebody so talented,

I had to be brilliantly charming

to get you to like me.

- Well, you overshot.

- I'm aware.

In my defense, though,

I've been running on empty for so long

that when I actually eat now,

I get this crazy burst of energy.

- That's why you're so weird.

- I'm always weird. That's why I'm...

assertive.

How do you do it? Eat.

I mean, I see you, and I just... I get...

I get all panicky even thinking about it,

like, the world is gonna fall apart.

I feel that way. But you know,

feel the fear and do it anyway.

Yeah, but aren't you scared

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