To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar Page #5

I can remember

almost everything she's ever done,

from Serenade Sun Valley

to Bahama Passage.

Gorgeous performance.

After that was Hit Parade Of '43,

Drums Of The Congo.

No, no, no - Drums Of The Congo,

then Hit Parade Of '43.

Then between that and Carmen Jones

she did something... Road.

Road... road.

- Bright Road.

- Thank you.

Carmen Jones

and then Island In The Sun

and her co-star in Carmen Jones

was Miss Pearl Bailey,

whose birthday I think should be

a national holiday.

Did you say something?

Carmen Jones,

then Island In The Sun,

then Decks Ran Red,

then, oh, yes, Porgy And Bess.

Oh, spectacular.

Then there was... er... er...

- Tamango.

- Tamango...

Malaga.

Malaga.

Honey, when did you

start talking?

Wanna try Lena Horne?

Go, girl.

Feature debut, 1942.

(Both) Panama Hattie!

That's wonderful.

That is just wonderful.

You're not gonna start

walking across water

and making the blind see, are you?

You put spices in here.

Some fell in. I scooped them out.

You do this to make me mad.

Why do you want to make me mad?

- I scooped them out.

- Why are you arguing with me?

- I'm not.

- You want me to hit you?

Take them out.

- Jimmy Jay?

- Joe.

- Joe Jay.

- Jimmy Joe.

Can we have one ladies' cocktail...

- Miss Clara!

- I know her.

- Hey, girl.

- Hi, sweetie. Sit here.

- Hi. I'm Noxeema.

- How do you do?

- Noxeema Jackson.

- Noxeema?

Uh-huh. Jesse's daughter.

So, Beatrice,

what are we working on?

We are working on decorations

for the Strawberry Social.

- Strawberry Social?

- The biggest thing in these parts.

We're doing it tomorrow.

We all make strawberry pies,

we take them into the centre of town,

then we eat the strawberry pies.

Then we go home.

Oh, lovely! Une fte champtre.

- May I?

- Oh, please.

Is there music and dancing and...?

We used to have a hollering contest

but some people didn't like it.

We give out ribbons

for the best strawberry pie.

- This party craves a theme.

- Theme?

What do strawberries say

to anyone here?

Well, erm...

Strawberries are red.

Good. That's a start.

- Wild strawberries.

- Yes, wonderful!

- Red and wild. That's your theme.

- What?

Red and wild is our theme.

You know what we should have today?

- A day with the girls.

- A day with the girls.

Somebody has to drive me

to Greenville. Come on.

A day with the girls,

like in New York high society!

Merna, what's a day

with the girls?

Katina,

first you do volunteer work

and then you get your hair done,

then you pick out a new outfit

and then you go sit

in a cafe and talk.

I've never heard

that expression before.

I'm Merna. I run the beauty parlour.

Beauty parlour?

Here, here it is!

Oh!

(Boy) Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Man! Look at that!

It's like living

in a Tex Avery cartoon.

I think we should

just ignore them.

Oh, no, no, no.

Noxee, please, no.

What's all this noise?

Oh, baby.

You are a whole lot of woman.

I know what you need.

I hardly think you're the man

to give it to me.

- Oh, no?

- Tough talk.

Thank you.

I think you should apologise to me.

And I also think you should

apologise to those ladies.

I ain't apologising to no ladies.

No way.

No way.

Just as I expected.

Well... do you like my nails?

Walk.

What can I say?

She's had a difficult life.

What did you say your name was?

Your name?

- Tommy.

- Tommy, Tommy.

Well, Tommy, this is Miss Vida

and Miss Clara

and this is Miss Katina

and Miss Merna,

Miss Loretta and of course

Miss Little Bobby Lee.

Now, Tommy, when you encounter

such gorgeous ladies,

the correct way to greet them

is to say,

"Good afternoon, ladies."

Can you say that, Tommy?

Good afternoon, ladies.

Unless it's the evening

and then you say what?

Good evening, ladies.

Go home, take a bath, comb your hair

and please put on a clean shirt

when you step outside.

It's an affront

to the very delicacy of my nature.

Miss Clara.

You just got to know

how to talk to people.

And a four and a five

and a six

and a seven and a eight.

Children, and one.

Pli on two.

And three, opening four.

Come, come, come.

Hello, you handsome thing.

- All right. No colours.

- No. No. No. No.

We just have-have

w-what's on the f-floor.

- We're not gonna have much luck.

- It is looking somewhat serious.

- (Noxeema screams)

- What?

- Oh, my God!

- What? Speak to me.

Oh! Oh...

Oh! Oh! I can't believe it! Oh!

Look! They're from the Sixties!

There's a whole bunch of it,

there's something for everybody.

T-That's just s-stuff my grandma bought

w-when she opened.

It never s-s-s-sold

and she never s-s-s-sent it b-b-back

and we were gonna g-give it

to Good-Good-Good...

Good-Good-Good...

- Can you believe? I can't believe!

- Good-Good-Good...

Look at this. Look, look.

Oh, Miss Clara,

you're gonna look like Emma Peel.

Ooh! Sorry.

Goodwill.

- Yes. For me.

- No, no, no. No, this is mine.

Oh, there's this fringe, honey.

I think I'm gonna black out.

This book has been

sort of a Bible for me

and, well... here.

"DV.

"The Au-au-autobiography Of Diana

"V-Vreeland."

And l-I-I-I should read this?

Oh, hon, you should commit

sections to memory.

Check yourself, Loretta,

before you wreck yourself.

Acting real proud of yourself

like a New York City girl, huh?

- God! It's still too spicy.

- I scooped them out...

Don't argue with me because

if you argue, you're gonna lose.

- It's too goddamn hot!

- No!

(Noxeema) Eartha... (Purrs)

Miss Kitt to you.

Dinah Washington

sitting on this shelf getting dusty!

Honey, we should play these.

The air should be filled with music.

- Here, put this on.

- Oh, no.

- Why?

- No, I can't do that. It's too big.

It can never be too big.

Here, put this on.

Come on. Dance with me.

"That season,

we were loaded with pizzazz,

"earrings of fuchsia and peach.

"Mind you, peach.

"And hats. Hats, hats, hats.

"Hats for career girls.

"How I adored Paris."

Jimmy Joe, this is not

just a restaurant any more.

You have turned it

into a lovely caf.

A caf?

Now slap a dollar surcharge

on every bill out here. Paid for.

Thank you, my little Miss Vida.

I've got a secret romance.

Couldn't you just lose it?

- To say the least.

- I got a secret romance, too.

Oh, shut up. For real?

And this secret romance

is very handsome, I hear.

Miss Vida!

Mine, too. What a coinky-dinky.

And he's so sweet.

Mine, too.

And, oh, he's so strong.

Let me tell you,

my papi is built like a brick...

- Let's go.

- Ow! What's the matter with you?

Bobby Lee, listen. The way

to make things happen is imagine.

Imagine.

Oh, Carol Ann, what on earth...?

I'm just so clumsy. I mean...

Virgil yelled at me.

I mean, he called out to me.

And, well, I just spilled the stew.

Hon, do you, like,

ever not cry in this room?

(Laughter and quiet chatter)

(Noxeema) Oooh! Guess what I see.

- I spy with my little eye.

- What is this?

Somebody's coming courting.

Miss Vida, I just kept thinking

it was happening.

I imagined just like you said.

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