TOC: Transtornada Obsessiva Compulsiva Page #7

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I lost the role of a lifetime,

and f*** it!

That's what I found out.

F*** it, who cares?

So put the gun down, Felipe!

Put it down, I'm putting

my cell phone down.

Put the gun down, my friend.

Friend...

- Friend...

- Friend.

- You called me "friend".

- We're great friends.

No!

A friend is something

you keep

Something you treasure

In your heart

It's what was said

in the song

That I heard in America

But the one who sung it

was crying

When he saw his friend

leaving

Come what may

come what may

- Carol!

- Son of a b*tch!

- What are you doing?

- Ramiro!

- I'm going to kill that fatty!

- No!

Head-butt him!

- Take that!

- Again!

What...

- Ouch! Wait, I'm hurt.

- Did I hurt you?

- You did.

- I'm sorry, my biscuit...

My nipples! Not the nipples!

That hurts!

You're so beautiful!

You're a diva, b*tch!

I love you!

You're a diva!

I love you, you diva!

Please, I didn't do anything

to Kika.

I came really fast,

it doesn't even count.

We just cuddled, you should

have seen it, I'm a romantic,

- how could I...

- Felipe.

F*** it!

Vladimir...

Vladimir, no!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I didn't mean to hit you!

Help!

It's an emergency!

Vladimir!

Hi, Kika.

Want some coffee?

No, thanks.

- Arthur?

- Yes.

I'm sorry,

I didn't recognize you without...

- Without the...

- Right.

It makes you look

so different...

- How are you doing?

- Well, I'm dead.

- But otherwise, things are good?

- Yeah, sure.

- How's the book?

- It's doing well.

- It had good sales.

- That's nice.

- So?

- So, right?

I mean, so? What's the wisdom,

what do I learn from this?

- Have a good one.

- "Have a good one"?

Yeah, just do your thing.

- "Do your thing"?

- Yeah, your thing.

"Do your thing"

is the answer you have for me?

Sure.

Arthur, you hanged yourself

in your home.

Oh, well...

- So, "do your thing"?

- That's right.

Okay, so what is

"happiness in 5 letters"?

Oh, there's that, right?

Today, I'm a projection

from your mind.

I can't know anything

you don't already know.

- That doesn't make sense.

- It's inexorable.

- I don't know what that means.

- You don't?

- What now?

- Now?

You do know

we're in a dream, right?

When we realize we're dreaming,

the dream's about to end.

Ma'am, please!

We're in a hospital!

I'm sorry.

How's Vladimir doing?

We kept an eye on him

through the night,

but unfortunately,

nothing could be done.

We were unable to restore

his testicles.

No, I meant the Vladimir

with the arrow.

Oh, that one

is doing surprisingly well.

The other one's testicles

might have lessened the impact,

maybe because of the excessive

sperm count, since he's a virgin.

Picture an orange...

Ma'am? Ma'am?

Were you crying?

Ouch... It's hurting a bit,

that's enough hugging.

All right.

Oh, there's Steven Seagal!

- Didn't you die?

- I didn't.

Kika, I asked the lady from

the station for a meeting today.

- For what?

- They want you on "Lovegeddon".

It's all in your favor, the leaked

pictures, the fat psycho,

you're a real futuristic amazon,

a modern heroine.

- That's good.

- It's freaking great, be happy!

Does it have to be today?

I'm with Vladimir.

He's doing great, isn't he?

I'm peeing a lot of blood,

but that's not new.

Did you hear that, Kika?

This doesn't happen twice.

I know how you feel,

I've been young and crazy,

I've had sex, so much sex!

I've fallen in love too,

but everything passes.

People will forget you too.

They forget everybody. They do.

So when this happens,

you need to make the best of it.

This is it, right here,

right now, it's as good as it gets.

I'm not going, Carol.

Francisca K., are you trying

to f*** with me?

No, Carol, I just

don't want to keep doing this.

They'll call me for "Lovegeddon",

then for a movie,

then for a Christian TV show,

for me to do something naked,

then they'll give me

a cooking show.

There'll always be something,

but it's never going to be enough.

I don't want it anymore,

I give up,

because it will never be enough,

and I'll never be happy!

- Everything I want is here!

- Me?

- No, I'm sorry, I meant Vladimir.

- Him?

That apathetic, mediocre,

talentless, ugly man?

He really is ugly,

but this isn't about Vladimir.

I'm talking about me.

I don't want to keep being

"Ms. Glass Half Empty".

Of course,

it's always about you.

Hello.

I'll hand it to her.

It's for you.

The owner of the TV station

wants to talk to you.

Hello.

F*** it!

F*** it.

- I can't believe she's doing this.

- People like weddings.

- You know you're fired, right?

- F*** it.

Give me that drink,

you can drive.

My grandchildren

are going to be hideous.

And poor.

And we lived

happily ever after.

But today's "happily ever after",

which amounts to about 8 months.

It means we lived happily

ever after, but not forever.

- Darn it, who the hell are you?

- I'm your salvation: "Islasgastua".

- "Islanagus"...

- "Islagastua".

You ruined my life,

I don't have any friends left,

I don't have anything,

you ruined it!

- I quit the bookstore for you!

- I used to be happy!

- I quit a primetime soap for you!

- You're childish!

You spend all day

with this piece of crap!

That bong

belonged to my mother!

Vladimir himself used to say:

"Keep moving forward". And I did.

I moved forward

for the same reasons I quit acting,

which were never about him

or his bad hair.

I don't know,

I was trying to find happiness.

I wanted to swim with dolphins,

meditate, do yoga, crossfit,

ayahuasca, bungee jumping,

Jesus Christ, Tantra,

travel the world,

ride an elephant,

hug a koala,

plant trees, cut gluten...

Or maybe I should

do my own thing,

write my own book,

with my own truth.

If it turns out bad,

I'll steal some Dalai Lama quotes.

Maybe none of it works,

but it doesn't hurt to try, right?

Anyway...

F*** it.

DISTURBED:

OBSESSIVE:

COMPULSIVE:

F*** it, f***,

f*** it, f*** it

Back when I used to steal

quotes from the internet

for Kika's book, I discovered

many versions of happiness,

but none of them

are absolute.

I confess that I found my favorite

quote on a bathroom door.

It read:
"True happiness

is to take a sh*t."

"Feces".

Five letters.

Done by (c) dCd / January 2018

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