TOC: Transtornada Obsessiva Compulsiva Page #6

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blow up and fade away,

I think you're in

the top three.

I admire you so much,

I take it as a compliment.

I grew up watching you,

I was so, so, so young.

Your career went like this...

And then...

Are you in a relationship?

- Oh, I'm sorry, you broke up.

- It's all right.

- Sorry, I shouldn't have...

- I'm doing great.

The important thing

is that we're working a lot, right?

- Yeah, I'm really tired.

- Totally, I'm exhausted.

All right, I don't even know

why I'm here for this meeting.

I should be reading a book,

but I'm here for a meeting.

- I'm here for a meeting too.

- Really?

- For the 8:
00 p.m. Soap?

- Yes.

- All right!

- That's it, then.

You're so fit!

Hi, there.

Ingrid, can you wait a minute?

Let's go, Kika?

Jesus, I pay you 20%!

Damn it, 20%! Come on!

Well, Kika...

As you know, we love your work

as Marcinha in "Crooked Steps".

Which is why your name came up

early for "Lovegeddon".

- "The Love Apocalypse".

- That's an excellent title.

It's our first

post-apocalyptic soap.

Kika, you would be

our futuristic amazon.

She's called Islasgatua.

- I'm sorry, what?

- Islasgatua.

- "Islagatua"?

- Islasgatua.

- "Islasgastua". "Islasgatush".

- Islasgatua.

I got it. It's really popular,

rolls off the tongue, sounds great.

An excellent name to promote.

It's a big responsibility,

with full exclusivity.

With diets, rehearsals,

kungfu, pilates, crossfit,

permanent hair removal,

controlled sex without pregnancy.

We shoot in the desert

for two months.

There are also interviews,

Sunday talk shows,

a New Year special

and "Tap Dancing with the Stars".

That's great!

People will approach you

on the street much more often,

they might want to kiss you,

or even assault you.

Well, Kika.

So...

What do you say?

- I need to think about it.

- To think?

- I'm just kidding!

- Kika, this is no place for jokes.

I'm sorry, I wanted

to lighten the mood.

- You were using humor.

- Yes, I'm sorry, it was just humor.

- It was just humor.

- Just humor.

Well, here's our standard contract,

you can't change anything,

just sign your name,

and your initials on each page.

I'm sorry, we still need

to go over some details...

- I'm almost done.

- I know, we'll reschedule it.

- I need to check some things...

- What are you...

- We'll work it out, leave it to us.

- What's going on, Teodora?

Teodora! Teodora!

Teodora, wait for me,

what's going on?

Francisca,

did you hear about a picture?

- What picture?

- It's been going around.

- Was that why Caio called you?

- Oh, right, there's a picture,

- but it's no big deal, calm down...

- "Calm down" my ass!

You're giving me a heart attack!

You're about to get the part,

and you pull

a stunt like that?

You're overreacting. So you've

never gone out with a weird guy?

You didn't mean to, but all

of a sudden, you're having sex.

What do you mean?

I'm talking about this.

- Sh*t! My assgina!

- Assgina?

This crap is fake!

It's fake, Carol! I'm serious.

- That's not mine.

- Are you crazy?

That's not my a**hole,

it's not even a woman's a**hole!

- Is it a new fad?

- No, it's not, Carol.

I can explain, it's not...

It was Caio! Son of a b*tch!

The son of a b*tch shared

my assgina with Brazil!

Calm down!

I've done PR for Tim Maia,

there's always a solution,

calm down.

- My God!

- Drive us to Dr. Matos, the lawyer.

- Isn't that the gynecologist?

- No, the lawyer, and step on it!

Jesus...

I can't believe you...

Crap!

I left the gas on!

I left it on, take me back

to where you picked me up!

We need to see the lawyer

to save your career!

We have to go back

to Vladimir's house!

Who the hell is Vladimir?

- I left it on! Ouch! Ouch!

- Who cares about the gas?

Did I waste 10 years of my life

for you to throw away your career?

The gas is on,

take me to Vladimir's house!

I left the goddamn gas on!

- I'm telling you...

- Listen to me!

Stop it, stop it!

You two, crazy women!

Who cares

about a freaking assgina?

This is a weapon, a dangerous

vehicle, and I'm a professional!

Damn it, I can take lives

if I'm not paying attention!

Get back here!

Francisca!

Francisca! Francisca!

- Who is it?

- Pizza!

- I didn't order it.

- It's a gift.

Vladimir!

I thought I had left

the gas on.

He could've died.

I was desperate to get here.

I don't know if you saw it

on the internet,

my assgina was leaked,

I think it cost me the part.

I don't like

that kind of thing.

- What happened?

- For God's sake, turn off the TV!

- Felipe?

- Do you know that psycho?

I do. Calm down, don't say that, he

has a condition. Why are you here?

How are you, Kika?

Do you remember

the restraining order?

You can't break into my friend's

house, I'm calling the cops.

No, nobody's

calling the cops.

What's that, Felipe?

- Sometimes I might seem crazy.

- I don't think so.

But I'm not stupid.

Don't you think I know

how it works,

that you'd never be with me?

I'm used to it,

my whole life has been like that.

You were...

like a light

in the end of the tunnel.

A reason for me

to get up in the morning.

You're not a good actress,

it was never the reason,

it never came to that,

because you're not.

It wasn't your beauty,

they don't hire you for that.

- That's just criticism...

- You can't wear a bikini, you know?

And Caio Astro...

Who can compete with him?

He has a perfect smile!

His face is symmetrical,

it's just so symmetrical!

And he has an amazing penis.

He really does have a great penis,

really a high-end penis,

but we're not together

anymore.

This guy...

This guy!

This piece of sh*t!

This pile of sh*t!

This worthless,

mediocre man, he's like me!

He's like me!

Do you know what I'm thinking?

That I had a shot!

Can I interrupt you for a second...

I know I'm sort of a loser,

but I think

I'm perfectly fuckable...

- Shut up!

- It's important that he knows that!

Felipe, calm down,

listen to me.

When two adults meet,

they drink too much and go out,

one of them plants a seed

on the other one's face or belly...

- Usually on the face.

- Shut up, shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

I read your book.

- "1003 Ways to be Happy".

- I didn't even write that.

I couldn't find a single one

that worked for me,

except for one...

No. 323:

Make your own happiness.

Seriously,

I didn't even write the book.

- I'll be next to you...

- For the love of God!

- People will always remember you.

- I didn't write it, Felipe!

Please, put the gun down,

I know about obsessions...

- You don't know about anything!

- Yes, I do!

I know how it feels,

I couldn't step on lines, Felipe!

I was afraid that I'd explode,

or lose a tampon inside me.

Or that a fat virgin

would kill us?

Shut up, Vladimir!

Felipe, please!

I've spent all my life

terrified of failure! Terrified!

And now, my assgina was leaked

to the entire country,

do you know how that feels?

I saw it, and I liked it.

Do you know what I found out?

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