Too Many Husbands Page #7

The tie is so important, sir.

It either makes or breaks.

Was that the door downstairs?

- No, sir.

- Mrs. Lowndes should be back.

Oh, well, a woman at her hairdresser's.

- I haven't had this thing on in months.

- It fits you beautifully, Mr. Lowndes.

I didn't realize, sir,

that your shoulders are so broad.

Didn't you? Are they?

I'll move your things back

into Mrs. Lowndes' room immediately, sir.

- Yes, thanks, I'll be downstairs.

- And I must say, sir, congratulations.

- Thank you again, Peter.

- Mr. Lowndes.

- Yes?

- Will Mr. Cardew be dining here tonight?

I'm sure I don't know.

- Poor fellow.

- Sir?

I said I didn't know.

- Seventy-five East?

- Yes.

No! No, don't stop, go on.

Some screwball.

- Where do you want to go, ma'am?

- Drive around the block, please.

Do you want to make

an easy half-dollar, son?

- Yes, sir. What do I do?

- Well, when I come back out,

just put on your prettiest smile

and start singing Here Comes The Bride.

- Sure thing. Is that you?

- That's me.

That's right.

Darling. Together at last.

- Well, where do you think you're...

- Well, where do you think you're...

Well?

- Well yourself.

- Where's Vicky?

- Why?

- Didn't she tell you?

- She told me she decided to stay with me.

- That's what I mean... She what?

You heard me. Now may I ask

where the devil you think you're going?

I thought I was going to Frank's.

Because she also decided to stay with me.

- She... She...

- Yeah. She!

- Did I tell you, you look lovely?

- Thanks, sweetheart.

- Why should she do a thing like this?

- Because we're both so sweet!

- Let's pull out of here.

- Leave her flat. We'll show her.

- Right, we'll show her.

- Yeah.

- You know something, though?

- What?

Maybe she couldn't help it.

Maybe it's like she says,

she loves us both so much,

- she can't kick one of us out.

- I guess she is in a pretty tough spot.

- She's been a good little wife.

- To both of us.

- Let's stay.

- All right, let's stay.

- But punish her.

- Make her suffer.

- Give her the works!

- Poor Vicky!

Yeah, poor Vicky.

To think that the woman we trusted

would do this to us.

Yes, after we've given her

the best years of our lives.

I'm waiting.

Say it! I deserve it.

Oh, I... I know what you're thinking.

Go ahead and think it.

You couldn't understand how a woman

could be this cruel to two men just because

she loved them

and doesn't want to hurt them.

You couldn't believe that I meant

what I said to both of you, could you?

I can't help it

if it doesn't make sense!

Talk to me.

- Bill.

- Yes, Hank?

How do you feel?

Like a man who's had his insides torn out

and can't die.

Have you any faith left in anything?

No.

Look at me, please. I'm here.

Say anything you want, but say it to me.

Have you ever known anyone

as cold and as heartless?

I've read about them. The women who

break a man's soul and laugh in his face.

I've tried to apologize,

I've done everything I could.

And here sit two men

who love just such a woman.

Two bitter disillusioned shells

with nothing to live for.

Nothing.

Will you listen?

All right, that's enough for me.

If you don't want to be human

you don't have to.

I don't care what you think,

about me or anything else.

Now get out! Get out of this house!

Where are you going?

- Hey! What's the matter?

- Dad, stop them!

They've gone.

What happened?

- Will you be dining at home, sir?

- Home? What home?

I suppose you're crying.

- No.

- All right.

Now.

What happened to that beautiful scheme

of yours of seeing one at a time?

- I promised to stay married to them both.

- Both?

They found it out when they met here.

They wouldn't talk to me,

so I told them to get out.

Vicky, you're a downright heel.

I know it. But you can't hurt one by picking

the other if you love the two of them.

Making pitiful fools of both because

you don't want to offend one.

Now, isn't that insane?

Well, it's all over now.

It's my own fault.

It's selfish to say this, Dad,

but it was wonderful while it lasted.

Any woman would be thrilled

when suddenly

her husband fell madly in love

with her all over again.

- And two husbands!

- Now, there you go again.

Saying they'd do anything for me

if I'd only tell them I loved them.

- That's something, Dad.

- It certainly is, if you like dog fights.

And so for a night and a day I had all

the love and attention two men could give.

Now I have nothing. And they...

- Dad, we've got to find them.

- Find them? Why?

They're my husbands. I've sent them away.

Blamed them for something

that was my fault.

How do you think they'll feel about me?

We've got to find them

before they do something desperate.

But, Vicky, this is so silly.

Where will we look?

- Now, come on.

- Vicky, be sensible.

If they're going to do something desperate,

let's get a good night's sleep.

- In the morning we can call the morgue.

- Come on.

Well, at least, after forty-five years,

I've seen New York.

- Do you know what that cab fare...

- Peter.

Are Mr. Lowndes and Mr. Cardew home yet?

No, madam.

- Will you have breakfast, madam?

- No, thank you.

- I will. Upstairs, in bed.

- Very good, sir.

You'd better get some rest.

All we can do is wait.

No!

Oh, what have they done?

Where are they?

Think she's been punished enough?

- No.

- Let her suffer, huh?

Let her suffer.

- What's the matter?

- Maybe it's enough.

- Yeah, maybe it's enough.

- Sure.

So long, little chums.

Hello, operator.

Operator, I want to check with the police

department on missing persons.

Yes, drownings and things.

Missing Persons, Adult. McDermott.

This is Victoria Lowndes, 75...

Yes, I got that. Yes, ma'am?

I was wondering if you'd heard anything

of two men in dress suits.

Both tall, one dark-haired,

the other blonde.

Who are they and what might I be hearing?

Mr. Henry Lowndes is the blonde, and Bill,

I mean, William Cardew, was the other.

There's nothing come in on them

from the morgue yet.

But it's still early. Relations?

Yes, they're my husbands.

Husbands?

What about those two husbands?

Hello!

Hello!

Did you say something?

Lady, I heard you as plain

as you're hearing me now.

What?

I said I heard you as plain

as you're hearing me!

I know what I said on my own telephone.

I said, Mr. Cardew is a friend

of my husband's.

And never mind, anyway, because

I can take care of everything myself.

You'd just better forget

about the whole thing. Goodbye.

Forget the whole thing, huh?

Get Lieutenant Sullivan!

- Hello, dear.

- Hello, honey.

I trust you gentlemen had a pleasant night?

While Dad and I upset the whole city

looking for you!

- You worried, huh?

- She worried.

Why I did, I'll never know.

Where did you go?

Oh, places.

- Dumps. Joints. Huh?

- I see.

The condemned men had a hearty drunk.

Do you know what you are?

You're hateful, both of you.

You say that,

after what we went through for you?

- For me?

- Yes.

Who ruined our lives? Who sent us out

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