Tooth Page #5

Mom! Dad!

Secure the exits.

Gut the joint.

Is it getting hot in here

or is it just me?

A talking giant rabbit.

Tommy, what's going on?

I know you. You used to put your

mother's bridgework under the pillow.

Don't you know how greedy that is?

I call it initiative.

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Who are you, the Cheesecake Fairy?

Mr Plug, on behalf of

the children of the world...

...and all that is decent

and good in the universe...

...I demand that you leave at once.

Zip it, fuzzball.

You bet. I'll... be over here...

...if anyone needs me.

Who's the wacko?

I'm the Easter Bunny's evil twin.

The Tooth Fairy's ugly stepsister.

I'm roadkill to reindeer,

sun lamps to snowmen.

I am... the anti-Claus.

Knock it off, Plug!

- Mrs C?

- She's back!

And she's bad.

Run, Plug.

While you still can.

Ooh. Scary.

Or, as my colleague here

would say...

Aaaaaarrrgghh!

- What are you doing here?

- I've come to help, old friend.

But why'd you leave us

in the first place?

Because the world had got greedy.

Magic didn't matter any more;

money did.

But what I didn't realise is...

...that there are a few

loving and generous spirits...

...still alive in this world.

All right, lady.

You wanna help? Prove it.

Very well. I've got your money.

The garbage men, they work for me.

They took your money to keep it safe.

What about m... magic?

Oh...

Back off, or Fluffy gets it.

Tolly, will you get back here?!

But he's the Easter Bunny!

Nobody's called me that in years.

Laugher. Tears. Nausea.

Grab the kid.

- No!

- It's OK, we'll take care of this.

When we get to the top, bury them.

Tolly!

They've sealed the ducts!

And cut the circuits.

OK... OK... OK...

Whoa. That is a long way up.

OK, is there another way out?

Hold on.

He's burying us alive!

- I know there's a way out.

- You don't know anything.

- Help me out here, lady!

- Well... there is a way out.

You fly.

Poppycock!

This is for you to do,

for the ones you love.

Magic is love, and wishes,

and wanting to help other people.

And it's here.

Deep inside.

Like a kidney?

Hello. Sceptical Examiner?

You guys want

the exclusive of a lifetime?

Send your best man,

and tell him to bring his camera.

What?

No, this is not another giant squid!

Dad?

- What's this?

- No...

It's his jacket. Dad!

- OK, honey...

- Dad!

- Dad?

- Honey? Honey!

Excuse me, Mrs Wallit.

I think you should see this.

- Dad!

- Come here, Big T.

But he hates heights.

Talk to him, Mrs Wallit.

Er... hello?

H... hello?

What are you doing?

Got no choice! I'm her dad!

What's gotten into you?

Well... just...

had a chance to sleep on things.

You see?

That's magic.

On your left!

Aaagh!

Will you come down now, please,

before you get hurt?

I'm, er, writing a new song

for the band.

Wanna know what it's about?

It's about you.

Anyone who's put up with a flake

like me deserves something beautiful.

There's just one problem.

I stink.

I've got no sense of rhythm.

And I... I think I'm tone-deaf.

Whoa!

No! No! Can you bring him back?

Bring him back!

- Tooth?

- I gotta help!

Then fly.

- Show me!

- I can't.

It's inside you. You have to want it.

Enough kung-fu mumbo jumbo, lady,

I gotta save 'em!

Wow!

That's it?

I get more lift from a bag of prunes.

She can do this.

But she needs all of you.

You have to want it, too.

If it means getting Rabbit,

and the little girl and her dad...

...then I want magic.

If it helps.

Magic.

Magic.

Magic.

Magic.

Magic.

Magic.

Oh, why not?

Magic.

Take me with you.

I'll try.

Still think she's a loser?

Nah. She's not a loser.

All right, people,

let's kick some Fairy Hunter butt!

In the old-fashioned way!

Hi, Dad. Gotta flyyyyyyyyyyy!

Tom?

Come on, Sugar Plum Fairy,

let's... ride.

The Sugar Plum Fairy...

...was a wimp.

Please make sure

your seat back is upright...

...and your tray table's in its stowed

and locked position. Thank you!

Yeeeah!

- Going underground!

- Watch out for the car!

Welcome to the Festival of Cheese.

- Cheeeeeese!

- Ahhh!

Agh, cheese! I hate cheese!

Time for a cleanup!

Sceptical Examiner,

where are you guys?

Ugh! Knock it off! Blurrrrgh!

Let 'em go, Plug.

Or I'll make you.

You and what army?

You and what army?

Where have you been?

You should really get that looked at.

Huh? Elves!

And fairies! And Tooth Fairies!

It's an army! Yeah! Get 'em!

Wings up and wands out.

Forward!

In you get! In that!

- Cowards!

- Ow!

Shut it, you.

As my mummy always says, never,

ever, ever work without a hostage.

Let her go, chucklehead.

The Sceptical Examiner was right.

You're just a big fat liar.

You...

You worthless...

...lowlife...

...bottom-feeding...

...trailer trash!

Yes, Mummy.

I am. I am worthy of his memory.

Stage dive!

Aaaaaarrrgghh!

- Tolly!

- That tickles!

Daddy, can we keep her?

She's so cute.

- Tolly, are you OK?

- Everything all right?

Mr Plug.

I've examined your claim thoroughly.

You're from the Sceptical Examiner!

Oh! Afternoon.

Did you see? Did you see inside?

As is typical

of your claims with us...

...there is nothing extraordinary

or unusual in any way to report.

But the rabbit... and the zing...

and the wheeee... and the zhooom...

We're not in the fruitcake business,

Mr Plug.

Evidently you are.

Please, shh... don't call again.

I've got video.

No! No!

Dad's here, we're all right.

We're all right.

Tolly, you're all right, you're safe.

Ohh, got you back.

Got you back, got you all safe,

goodness me.

- How did you get here?

- I ran, sweetheart.

I ran, darling, I ran all the way.

Goodness me.

Little T, are you all right?

Ah, got you safe. Tom, Tom!

Come here. Come here, oh...

We saw fairies

and they were flying!

There were Fairy Hunters, and

they had a huge tunnel, and we won!

That's wonderful...

So, that's my story.

How me and my family and the craziest

Tooth Fairy ever found magic again...

...and got the holidays back on track.

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho...

Herbert the Extractor escaped and

became a professional soccer player.

Those wacky golfers

had a pretty good year.

And Plug spent

the rest of his holidays in /jail.

As for my family...

...my dad started a car-wash record

store for the musically challenged...

...and Mom went to work for Mrs C.

Tolly got to keep

the thing in the cage...

...and she even got a new baby-sitter.

Everything's fine, Mrs Wallit.

You and Mr Wallit

just try and enjoy yourselves. Ciao.

And me... Tom Wallit?

I made a friend who liked me...

...even though

I'm a flesh-eating virus.

A friend who taught me

that magic is inside all of us.

Deep inside.

Like...

...a kidney.

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