Topkapi Page #4

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There's a fine figure of a man.

But watch out, the English

are not what they seem.

- Read the papers.

- I know.

There's Arthur Simpson, too.

I feel a strange attraction.

- What's so strange?

- You're so understanding.

He has beautiful eyelashes.

Have you noticed?

First thing I noticed.

Do you mind

that I am a nymphomaniac?

No. It's your most endearing quality.

Don't waste it, use it.

The door is open, darling.

Now, Mr Simpson, you can show us

how well you know Istanbul.

We want to see Saint Sophia...

- And the Grand Bazaar.

- Everything.

- Do you mind if I smoke?

- Go ahead.

No, no. I prefer my own brand. I've got a...

Huh? Uh-oh. How stupid of me.

Whoop!

- Papa, there's your pretty searchlight.

- Shut up!

Ooh! Candyfloss!

Couldn't be better. Just a few

hundred yards from the museum.

There's your enemy, the searchlight.

But Walter will take care of it, eh?

Follow me.

- Are the arms in the car?

- They haven't been touched.

I don't think you're an idiot. What

made you suspect they're Russian spies?

- I deduced it.

- From what?

- The cook.

- What did he say?

- They're Russian spies.

- A clever deduction.

- Are they expecting Mr Plimpton?

- I believe they are.

- Is he their leader?

- I think it's Mr Harper.

- And Miss Lipp has her say.

- What has Miss Lipp to say?

- Did you hear her talk to anyone?

- Yes, I heard her speak to Mr Harper.

- What did she say?

- Personal things.

- I don't think they'd be of any interest.

- Everything she says is of interest.

- Well, she said I was attractive.

- Fool! She knew you were listening!

- That's impossible.

- Why'd she say anything so stupid?

Well, she did. She went further.

She said I had beautiful eyelashes.

Did Miss Lipp confide any more

tender secrets to Mr Harper?

Yes, she did. She said

she was a nymphomaniac!

There!

- I just came from the villa.

- What did you find?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

This is your last chance, Simpson.

Today is Thursday. On Saturday,

three days before the army parade,

your friends will be arrested

and locked safely away.

Lf, before that, you don't learn

who they work for,

you'll be charged with smuggling arms

into Turkey for terrorist purposes.

That's what I call a handsome man.

Him I would like to take home.

Ah, madam, the sultan

lives here with me.

But please,

you come and visit him again.

We can't.

We leave on Monday.

- Monday.

- Monday.

Well, now that the sultan has seen you,

maybe the sultan will leave with you.

Whereas the famous

Istanbul dagger

contains the four world's

most priceless emeralds.

The Topkapi treasury

is also famous for...

- Ah!

- Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.

Excuse me.

Hope I didn't hurt you.

- Any time.

- It's a date.

Did you get the impression of the key?

- Naturally. Did Cedric get his?

- Yes.

Look behind me. That's the longest

stretch of roof we have to cross.

Look for the places

where we can lie low.

The searchlight sweeps

that roof every 21 seconds.

I can't shoot that light

until we get to this roof.

It's only from there that

I can get a clear shot at it.

Well, we paid our respects to culture.

Tomorrow we'll see the wrestling.

That I like more.

Hey!

While the guards are busy coughing,

this will assure our means of transport.

Pull.

- There is no stronger knot.

- Too strong.

I don't want to leave it up there.

You agreed, "not a trace".

Momento. Giulio...

Pull.

- Genius!

- Boy scout.

- Walter!

- Giulio.

You fool! Sports cars?

Understand this well:

For a year, you'll buy nothing.

For a year, you will rot in your garret.

There will be an army

organised to find us -

investigators, detectives,

and informers.

The overnight millionaire will be caught

in a spotlight from Istanbul to Peru.

This project's been planned

to the last detail and will work.

If our timing is right,

the whole Turkish Army can't stop us.

We've made contact

with Josef at the fair.

Josef is waiting for our signal to move.

You were chosen because

you're unknown to the police,

and it'll stay that way.

Everything's ready.

Everything has been timed...

All of the time I knew

that you spy on the spies.

OK, Giulio?

If there's to be a killing,

there can only be one leader.

And that doesn't go for Turkey alone.

Good evening.

It's a bit warmer...

- Yeah!

...tonight.

- Who's there?

- What are you doing here?

- I'm afraid it's cook, sir.

- Put him to bed.

- Get to bed, you drunken pig!

- Fischer, you Scheibkopf! I kill you!

- Scheibkopf?

- I make you chop-chop!

Big bakaklish. I make pipilish on you!

Don't be such an idiot!

I give you chotchka!

Hans!

Bakaklish!

My hands!

My hand! My hand!

My hand! He's ruined my hand!

Ah!

So close, so close, and then this idiot...

I'm sorry, darling.

I know how you feel.

Ah-ah! No good looking at me, dear.

I couldn't possibly hold Giulio.

Why, I used to get blisters

just holding my cricket bat.

Walter.

Cedric, call Simpson.

- Simpson?

- Simpson.

Simpson.

Giulio, bring the nylon cord

from the fishing basket.

- Simpson.

- Yes, yes, sir.

Simpson,

you are wanted.

Give it to him, Giulio.

Simpson, I've just bet $100

you can pull this sofa six feet

with just the strength of your arms.

If you win, you get half.

- I'm not very good at this, sir.

- Try.

As you wish, but you are not asking

me to do this just to settle some bet.

Bravo, Mr Simpson,

but you would still get your $50.

Do it, Mr Simpson.

Do it! Prove that you

are a man, not a jelly.

Feet together.

Just the strength of your arms.

You can do it, Arthur.

I didn't mean to talk to you like that.

I'm very fond of you.

Try it again, please.

Don't yank the cord.

Just pull steadily, hand over hand.

You can do it.

Quiet! Feet together.

Good, Arthur.

Good.

Steady, steady!

Hand over hand.

Bravo!

Oh! Oh... Oh, well.

- Dare we?

- Yes.

We can't postpone.

- Arthur.

- Yes.

Come sit down.

Get it, Giulio.

Simpson,

how would you like to make $10,000?

Ten?

Hoo! Whoo.

Paris, Roma, Washington.

Not a dossier on any single one of them.

No dossier, no dossier, no dossier.

But Simpson, "I heard Walter say,

if we are to make a killing,

there can be only one leader."

"And if our timing is right,

the whole Turkish Army can't stop us."'

Do you know what this is?

It's the... sultan's dagger

from the museum.

Not yet. We are going

to put it in the museum.

Close you mouth, my dear fellow.

Thank you.

Miss Lipp made the copy.

Isn't she clever?

We are going to

exchange it for the original.

And we are confident it will be

a long time before anyone is the wiser.

That's how you will earn $10,000.

You will be on the museum roof

and lower Giulio over the side by rope.

Museum roof?

That's impossible.

It has to be possible.

Now that you know about it,

you have no choice.

You don't understand.

I don't like heights. I get dizzy.

Give me your hand.

Arthur, you are a clever man.

You could have gone far.

But you always played for small stakes.

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