Total Siyapaa Page #2

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Manav, Aman.

Hey. Manav.

Mom. Where's my hockey?

It's in your room along

with your baseball bats.

But not today, son.

We've guests at home.

I know, I'll cut

their cable connection.

He won't listen.

These Pakistanis won't

stop making trouble.

Go and meet grandpa.

He's been asking since morning..

.."Where's Asha,

when is she coming".

Go.

I'll just.

What?

What?

You didn't tell them

I am a Pakistani.

I told them you're a Muslim.

That means you didn't

tell them I am a Pakistani.

These guys hate Pakistanis.

Easy, I don't want them to judge you..

..on the fact that you're a Pakistani.

That's it. - Some Pakistani took his..

..parking space on the

fact that you're a Pakistani.

If I talk about you,

God knows what he'll..

Relax.

What relax?

And who named him Manav?

Daddy did.

Aman, you're over-reacting.

I am not...over-reacting.

This is not about Hindu-Muslim..

It's about India and Pakistan.

Will you shut up or should I make you?

You do it.

Nothing's going to happen.

- I believe that too.

Nothing's going to happen.

You're laughing? - okay, I'll

speak to them myself, don't worry.

Please take your own

sweet time and start...

Start with your mother.

And if possible, tell Manav

over the phone a day or two later.

What.. - Don't laugh.

okay. Let's go meet grandpa.

Speak louder, he's hard of hearing.

of course he's hard of hearing.

He's Punjabi after all.

Not just that,

he's actually hard of hearing.

Come on.

Confidence.

Grandpa.

Asha.

How are you?

- My dear..

I am fine. - Guess who's here?

Guess who's here? - Who?

Guess? - Who?

Is he a boy or a girl?

Grandpa, he's a boy.

He seems frightened.

Because he just met Manav. - I see.

How old are you? - 28.

28! - What do you do?

I play the guitar.

Son, even I play the guitar.

But what do you do?

I.. I mean..

Aman is a musician, grandpa.

- Musician.

I see, no wonder..

You should exercise, son. - Yes.

Look here.

Made in 1930.

In the 1971 war,

I was shot here and here.

Still, I didn't desert post.

13 days war with Pakistan.

We defeated them.

Why didn't you join the army?

Even if I did, I couldn't

have fought against Pakistan.

Why?

There are no more wars, grandpa.

There will be, dear.

There will be a war.

"There will be!"

Tell him.

You said he's hard of hearing.

Lee Enfield Mark 4.

British infantry rifle.

I killed 4 Pakistanis with this.

The 5th shot me.

Anjali, what are you doing here?

Father, didn't I

tell you not to do it.

Let go of these bullets

and take these pills.

Why are you crying?

Everyone's lost their mind.

Pointing guns at children.

No, no..

Don't cry.

Sorry, mom, I didn't see.

- It's okay, dear.

Anjali, stop crying.

Jia, stop screaming.

What do you want, dear? - Band-aid.

Why?

Raj and Simran are hurt.

You and your Raj-Simran.

Come, I'll take a look.

Come on, dear.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

We'll give you a band-aid.

Come on, dear.

Come.

Sit here. Sit.

Sit comfortably.

Here you go, band-aid.

What's this, mom?

Anti-depressants.

Anti-depressants? Why?

The doctor has prescribed them, dear.

He says it's best for sadness.

Sadness?

Dear, I went to see the doctor.

I couldn't say anything.

He looked at me for a while..

..and then prescribed

a medicine for me.

What kind of a doctor is he?

- He's Indian.

But, what are you

depressed about, mom?

About what?

Have you seen your sister?

Have you seen your brother?

Your grandma.

Anjali.

Have you seen your father?

No. Where's dad?

At the office, where else?

He's been demoted, dear.

The car just got smaller.

He knows his future

son-in-law's coming home.

But he can come home

only when his boss lets him.

And you know your brother

really well.

I don't know when he's

ever going to change?

And your sister.

She's a 5 year old daughter..

..but she isn't responsible.

She doesn't want to

apologies to her husband..

..and go back home.

Why don't you explain her?

Isn't her dance school doing well?

That's the problem.

I can't figure out the

kind of friends she's made.

They come home too.

They look like goons.

Why did you gesture at Aman?

No, I didn't mean that.

I hope you don't feel

that we're a crazy family.

No, I don't feel that at all.

Why are you holding that?

Give it to me.

Who else do you have in your family?

I have a father, mother..

.three brothers, four sisters..

..and by grace of God, myself.

And where in India do you hail from?

What?

India.

I..

- Mom, he's a Pakistani.

Who?

- Me!

"Hail Goddess."

"All say, hail Goddess."

"Everyone say, hai I Goddess."

"Hai I Goddess."

"All say, hai I Goddess."

"Goddess, You're our only refuge."

"Hai I Goddess."

"All say, hai I Goddess."

Mom, say something.

What do I say?

You two have lost your mind?

You two have gone crazy? - Why?

Why?

Ashaa, up till Muslim was fine.

But Pakistani?

Asha, couldn't you find an Indian.

Indians kill Pakistanis

and Pakistanis kill Indians.

We aren't doing anything like that.

- Not yet.

But you will do it later.

This will never work, dear.

- But it's working out.

Because it's all new.

Later you will strangle each other.

Have you thought about your children?

We have.

Aman wants a daughter..

..and we will call her Shanti.

That won't bring any

peace in your family.

Have you seen Manav?

I named him Manav - Human-..

..but, he's turned into a cannibal.

The beans are cooked.

Jia!

I'll take care of it.

- I'll come too.

You wait.

Switch off the gas.

And, there's soup in the freezer,

keep it to defrost.

Yes, I'll do it.

See you. - See you.

Mom, we love each other.

To hell with your love.

After 1947, there can be

no love between India and Pakistan.

It all ended right there.

Mom.

Can't even walk,

but likes to play with a knife.

Where's the soup?

Is this soup or brick?

I asked her to postpone

the meeting today.

Today is not a good day.

But 'No', we've too meet them today.

As if it's the end of the world.

I wish I hadn't listened to her.

The family's filled with fools.

And now this is acting

stubborn as well.

Hi.

What are you laughing at?

Who are you?

I came here with Asha.

Asha's boyfriend.

Yes.

open your mouth. - What?

Pakistani?

How did you know?

Well.. - Mom,

can I please have some juice?

Here you go.

Never ever say please. - Why?

Because...people will

think you're a moron.

Alright, listen this is the last..

No more juice.

Who is it?

Aman. Aman.

Aman? Who?

Aman, guitarist.

The one who can't join the army, and..

..even if he could, he couldn't

fight against the Pakistanis.

I see.

Listen to this joke. - No.

Son, listen to this joke.

A patient goes to the doctor.

He asks, "Doctor, how long do I have".

The doctor says "10".

The patient asks, "10 what".

"Years, months, weeks, days."

The doctor says "Ten,

nine, eight, seven, six..".

Wasn't that funny?

It was a funny joke.

Where are you going?

Rascal, now try driving your car.

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