Touch of Pink Page #4

That complexion like milk...

...that touch of pink.

What do you call that,

peaches and milk?

- Peaches and cream.

- Cream. Right, yeah.

Anyway, I'm lactose intolerant.

Alim's not.

I always wanted a suit like that.

I think we should go in and try it on.

- No, no, no.

- Yes.

Today is your day.

Come on. Let's pretend.

You look lovely.

Come along. The city is yours.

Thank you.

The suit looks great.

Doris Day wore a suit just like this

in That Touch of Mink.

When I first came to London,

I tried to make one just like it.

I looked like a clown.

Such a junglee I was.

I think it looks lovely on you now.

Although I think it's more

Audrey Hepburn than Doris Day.

If only you'd said that 23 years ago.

Well, I was 7.

I don't think I knew

who Audrey Hepburn was.

Of course not.

No, Giles. Alim wouldn't want

his mother drinking like this.

But on the other hand...

...if no one told him...

Back from lunch in

half an hour, please.

You know, when I make

pickle sandwiches...

...the insides always seep out

when I eat them.

My fingers smell like pickle

for the whole day.

Well, if you must eat pickle...

But when she makes them,

everything somehow stays in place.

- Yes.

- I've never thanked her for them.

Come on. We don't have much time.

Shall we?

Can Nuru do this?

- No. I've forgotten how to dance.

- I know how.

Men like you always know.

You come built that way.

Actually, Alim's the one

who taught me properly.

Alim?

Come on.

Alim taught you this?

Who taught Alim?

Good evening.

Could I have a champagne cocktail?

What?

Prepare. The mummy returns.

Hello.

You two were out together?

Do you get FM with that hairdo?

- We did a little sightseeing.

- I used to love that film.

You know this movie?

A person of the world is allowed

to see An Affair to Remember.

They've been out whooping it up,

the two of them.

You're drunk?

- She's drunk, Giles.

- I am not drunk.

Water. Giles, thank you.

- It was a lovely day.

- It was my pleasure.

Oh, please.

Well, well. Rock and Doris

together again.

Cary and Doris.

Come on. Dance with me.

They've been dancing.

You went dancing too?

Get up.

Oh, dear.

Seems we've made contact

with your inner child.

You haven't made contact

with my inner anything lately.

And that's my fault?

I'm not middle-aged woman

enough for you.

You are bonkers.

She likes me.

I like her.

It's... It's good for us.

This is not the relationship

I signed up for.

Good night, Nuru.

Good night.

I want my life back.

I'm gonna tell her

about Giles and me.

Alim, we've discussed this.

You've got to be careful with the truth.

It can rise up and bite you on the...

Nuru!

Where are you off to?

For a dip with a friend.

See that you don't get too muscular.

He's going swimming. He never stops.

- At this time!

- I heard.

- I'll wait till you're done.

- No, I'm done.

- I'm not.

- You should go swimming with Giles.

- I go to the gym.

- What do you do at the gym?

I pump iron.

You don't even pump

your own petrol.

Please don't leave me with her.

- What's that?

- I wanna show you something.

You see that spot on the wall there?

Well, this photograph

used to hang there.

And we took it down

before you came.

And you know why?

Something you didn't

want me to see?

- That's right.

- Something for boys only.

- I wanna show it to you anyway.

- No need.

Boys will be boys. I understand.

I really want to.

It's not anything racy, is it? No whips

or midgets or that M&M's business.

It's a photo of Giles.

Oh, my. It certainly is.

And...

...I took it.

I see.

What to do?

Not enough air pushing through

the windmills of her mind.

I've ordered a cab.

Alim, they're... They're evil.

Cabs?

Those movies you watch.

They've led you down

the wrong path.

You don't know what

you're talking about.

Don't I?

They're made for the goras,

not for us.

What's going on?

I hope you had a good laugh

at my expense.

I'm sorry?

Alim, where's she going?

- I can't believe you did that.

- Nice swim?

I can't believe you hit her

over the head with it.

- You wanted me to tell her.

- Yeah, but not like that.

You should have let me talk to her.

We were getting along really well.

She thought you were straight.

- It's not that simple.

- I'm afraid it is.

She's a Muslim woman

from the Third World.

- She's what?

- You forget that she's not like me.

- You have to shift your expectations.

- So, what you're really saying...

...is that she's just an ignorant Paki?

I wouldn't have put it quite like that.

No, I think you would've

if you could.

But she's your mother.

And if she's just a Paki,

then what does that make you?

Rise and shine.

It's almost noon.

Leave me alone.

Oh, for heaven's sake, how much

longer are you going to pout?

Giles will come around.

He'll never leave you.

He's taken his clothes.

He's taken his bathing costume.

He's gone.

- And she's gone.

- Oh, well, that's what we wanted.

And to think, the truth got rid of her.

- What do I know?

- Yeah.

What do you know?

I'm alone. And I don't know why.

Oh, Alim, you're not alone. I'm here.

I've always been here.

I'm always going to be here.

Know what I think?

We need a holiday.

Yes. Bermuda.

Or the Greek islands.

You'll see.

I have just three words

for the pheasant samosa:

Fa-bu-lous.

Nuru. Come here. Come here.

Please, have a taste.

It is like ambrosia.

Nuru.

Pheasant samosas.

Nobody's had pheasant samosas.

- Sherubai did, at her daughter's...

- That was chicken.

It's not too late to upgrade.

Mind you, pheasant is

more expensive.

Expense is not a problem.

My son is minting money.

Excuse me, exactly how expensive?

Explain it to me as if I'm an imbecile.

Well, I'll try and stretch

my imagination.

If you'll follow me, please.

So embarrassing.

Come on, I'm going to show you

where the mukhi will do the ceremony.

Nuru, you'll ruin your figure.

I'm just excited.

I nibble when I'm excited.

Oh, yes, excited, happy, sad,

swimming, breathing.

Honestly. Come on, let's go.

I don't consider Toronto

a holiday destination.

So are you visiting

or heading back home?

I'm going back home. But I'm visiting.

So you're from Toronto originally.

Kenya.

Well, my ancestors are from India.

Well, l... I grew up in Canada, but...

Are you going to eat that?

Do you have any idea what

sweatpants say to the world?

They say, "I'm not trying anymore."

And they would be correct.

What happened to you in England?

Nothing.

It was fine, I told you.

There's no surgeon, is there?

An economist.

For UNICEF.

Well, I suppose it pays the rent.

- Hello.

- Thank you.

The Chocolate of the Month Club

made another delivery.

- I put it in your apartment.

- Thanks.

Why does this man have your keys?

No, no. I'm the janitor.

Who gets the present

at Eid every year.

I've never given you an Eid present.

Yes.

So when is Alim going to tie the knot

with this UNICEF woman?

I tell you, I'm ready to organize

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