Tragedy Girls Page #3

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Why did you and Toby

break up, again?

He said he needed

to find himself.

But really he just found

a sick deal on a motorbike,

which made him like 20% hotter.

Wait. I could see it as

a "Death Proof" kind of thing.

I can work with that.

Yas, queen.

- Hey! Hey!

- [Laughing]

- Yeah, yeah, like that.

- Making its way downtown.

Ugh! Oh.

Dinner time!

Eat up, Lehmann.

It's all good protein.

[Grunting]

We... look... amazing.

- Hot, right?

- Yeah.

But we're totally gonna have to

start wearing masks,

'cause if we keep

dressing this good...

people gonna know it's us.

Let's talk Toby.

Okay, so, he will be

at his house,

working on his hog.

Sexy.

Um, but, then he likes to go

for a ride on Connor Road

to, like, think.

Let's give him

something to think about.

[Dramatic music plays

on cellphone]

[Music stops]

- Hello?

- [Breathing heavily]

- Hello?

- [Exhales]

- Who is this?

- [Breathing heavily]

- Angela?

- [Exhales]

- Tatum?

- [Breathing heavily]

- Michelle?

- [Breathing heavily]

McKayla?

[Cellphone dings]

[Dramatic music plays]

[Tools clatter]

I was number 4?

Proceeding with phase 2.

[The Wet Secrets' "Nightlife"

plays]

Doo-doo-doo doo doo

Doo-doo-doo doo-doo doo

Doo-doo-doo-doo

doo-doo doo-doo

Fold your arms

and don't deny

Anything is wrong

with the scene

Doo-doo-doo-doo doo doo

By the time the cops arrive

[Horn honking]

No one will remember

my name

- [Honking continues]

- Go around!

Or what they did

with all my stuff

[Tires screech]

[Horn honking]

[Engine revs]

[Engine revs]

[Horn honking]

Aaah!

[Crash]

Aah!

[Car door opens, closes]

Aah! How'd it look?

- Here you go.

- Ooh!

[Tires screech]

[Both laugh]

[Moaning]

Again?

Motherf***er!

[Moaning]

[Breathing heavily]

Oh!

Shut up.

Someone might hear you.

[Gasps]

[Bones crack]

More to the left.

His heart is more to the left.

- [Crunch]

- Ugh!

[Crunch]

Ugh!

- You're just hitting bone, dude.

- I'm trying.

- [Moaning]

- Give it.

[Moaning]

[Crunch]

Ugh!

[Gasping]

[Vehicle approaching]

- Help! Help!

- Someone's coming.

[Muffled] Help me!

Shh!

[Moaning]

- Hey.

- Hey. Everything okay?

Yeah.

Just a little car trouble.

Oh.

Can I help out?

- [Door slams]

- That's all right.

- I know how to change a tire.

- [Muffled yells]

- You sure?

- Yeah.

Pretty good with my hands.

And... And tires.

Help! [Whimpers]

Shh.

Uh, my friend is really

into Candy Crush.

She hasn't scored a jelly in,

like, a hot minute, so...

- Oh. Okay, I know how that is.

- [Chuckles] Yeah.

[Crickets chirping]

[Soft music plays]

If I'm gonna be murdered,

I'm so happy it's you.

[Sighs]

M-Kay!

What the f***?

Nothing.

[Thud]

Got him.

Ugh. Okay.

- You ready to rehearse this?

- Yeah.

So, we were just driving

down the street

after our morning workout,

obviously.

And there was this body there.

And I'm not a CSI person, but

it looked like he was murdered.

Okay.

[Whimsical music plays]

I'm not a CSI person,

but it looked like

he was murdered.

Murdered? The coroner's report

says it was an accident.

- So devastating.

- But wasn't there evidence

that he was stabbed

multiple times?

That's just what we heard.

You can watch the video on our

YouTube channel, Tragedy Girls.

Girls, plural. We have

a Twitter and a Tumblr.

Look, girls,

points for enthusiasm,

but please let the professionals

handle this, okay?

Just one interview.

I mean, we can say

whatever you want us to say.

We'll post a link

on our website.

We can help each other out.

Real journalism is based

in facts, not hashtags.

Why are you even here?

[Vehicle door closes]

Young people and road safety.

That's the real story.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

please.

Can we get the shots

of the cars parking?

- Please, like, right now?

- Sure.

Parked cars.

They're not going anywhere.

I tried to show my dad

your page, but he won't budge.

He just said,

"Motorbikes are dangerous."

Okay, well, maybe we can

use this to our advantage?

Make a "Rosedale Murder

Cover-Up" video?

He also said I probably

shouldn't be making movies

with you guys anymore.

- And what did you say?

- Told him to f*** off.

Not using those exact words,

but you know,

I think we left things

ambiguous enough

that he probably knows

what I'm gonna do.

But, guys, if there's some

sort of psycho on the loose,

you need to leave it alone.

Don't be lame,

we're not scared.

No, I'm serious.

I...

Look, I just don't want see...

anybody get hurt.

- [Soft music plays]

- [Chuckles]

Well, I promise we'll stop

if I ever feel like

we're in danger.

Okay?

Okay.

Well, we're late

for Prom Committee.

But, hey, Jordan,

maybe you should find

a date to prom, you know,

'cause it's gonna be fun

and you don't want to go alone.

Because that's

extremely pathetic.

[Gasps]

Maybe your daddy

can help you find someone.

Je-scuse moi?

Could you repeat that, Syl?

For the record?

Yes. Like I was saying, two of

our fellow classmates are gone,

and I think, to honor them,

we should tone down the dance.

It is so tragic we lost Craig

before his time...

And my ex, Toby.

May he rest in peace.

As a junior, you may not

quite understand this yet, Syl,

but I think it would actually

dishonor their memory.

Yeah, if we don't have prom,

then the haters win, Syl.

Plus, we already made

the deposit on the deejay.

And that sh*t's nonrefundable.

I hear you, but that was

before everything happened.

I think we should donate

our budget to the families.

Right?

[Indistinct conversations]

- Goodness.

- [Clears throat]

Order! Syl makes, like,

some really good points,

but I think we should

celebrate how they lived.

Well, I think

we should vote on it.

And I'd like to be

the first to motion this.

[Clears throat]

- Seconded?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, let the record show

that both the president

and the vice president

are vehemently

opposed to this change.

- Vehemently!

- Well, I would just like

to thank you all for coming,

and I just really hope

[Echoing] that we can all

band together as a class

and really respect each other

and bring together...

[Dramatic music plays]

- What the hell is that?

- Syl made it. It's a library.

A library for what?

People make these and put them

in front of their houses

with used copies of "Twilight,"

and old people

borrow books from them.

It's a thing.

How did that prissy b*tch

get so good at woodshop?

"I really hope

that my work can inspire

free little libraries

everywhere,

and really do some good.

You know?"

And it's going to the state

competition this weekend

as Rosedale's official entry.

Not anymore.

So, if I move my shift

at the shelter,

that would clear up

the afternoon

to go to the old folks' home.

- Right?

- Okay.

Who did this?

[Gasps]

How am I supposed to get my

lending-library scholarship now?

Don't just stand there, help me!

How could you let this happen?

You get every piece.

[Sighs]

No matter how hard I work,

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