Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day Page #2

Synopsis: The boys return from jail to find the park has deteriorated, with a brand new park being created beside it. They attempt a series of get rich quick schemes and robberies, while a freshly drunk Lahey threatens to derail their plans.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Mike Clattenburg
Production: Screen Media
  1 win & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.4
R
Year:
2009
102 min
Website
951 Views


He called the Department

of Environment.

Now, we have to follow

the old sewer line

which runs right under

Julian's property.

Randy f***ed up and I have to fix it.

Again.

I walk along the street

We used to walk

2 by 2 lovers pass

And as they're passing by

I could die

'Cause you're not here with me

Come in!

Mr. Lahey? Randy?

Bubbles!

Hey, Bubbles!

Hey, how do you like the new park?

My cats, Mr. Lahey, where are they?

Bubbles, I have no idea

where your cats are.

Right? You have no idea

what happened to my kitties?

Calm down. Bubbles.

Get your hands off me, Randy.

You gotta calm down, okay?

Don't f***ing touch me.

Listen, Bubbles.

Don't make me throw you out, Bubbles.

There was a lot of people complaining.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Why did you board up the kitty door?

Listen, I think Animal Control

took them away, Bubbles.

Animal Control?

What do you mean. Animal Control?

Calm down!

Here, Randy! Want some fly paper?

Snack on that, Randy!

I'll put you down, I swear!

Bubbles...

Let me go, Randy!

Bubbles, you will calm down

or I'll have to call the...

Bubbles, that's it. I'm pinning you.

Get off me, Randy!

You need to calm down!

Lahey!

Get those clippers away from me!

The clippers are touching me!

Get them away from me!

I think it's caught in my hair.

Just wait.

My God... Don't tug it.

Don't move.

It hurts!

Bubs? I'm gonna have to turn it on.

Don't turn it on!

I'll have to turn it on

to get it out, Bubs.

Just relax, it won't hurt.

Lahey!

What did you do?

Nothing, Bubs. It looks great.

It's okay.

What did you do?

Didn't cut you a bit, Bubs.

What the f*** did you do?!

It's perfect.

Look, there's no need to crack

the sh*t crust over this.

You f***ed up my hair!

Bubs, it's not that bad!

I was an accident.

Yeah?

You just wait, fucky!

You wait till Ricky and Julian see this.

Bubbles... it wasn't our fault.

It was an accident.

It was an accident, was it?

That was an accident, too.

I'm as blue as I can be

Blue on blue

Cocksuckers...

Heartache on heartache

Blue on blue

Now that we are through

F***...

Blue on blue

Heartache on heartache

And I find I can't get over

losing you

Hello...?

Hello.

Hi, there.

What's going on here?

These guys are following me

around all the time.

Don't worry about them.

My name's Bubbles.

I'm from Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

I think you have some of my kitties.

Sunnyvale? Right.

Could you please take a seat?

Certainly.

Jenny?

Yeah?

The gentleman from the trailer park

is here. Could I see those files?

Just a sec.

Files?

You have files on my kitties?

Hi.

Right. So we had a few phone calls.

Very agitated phone calls from...

Mr. Lahey was concerned

about the welfare of your animals.

They were probably drunk calls

more than agitated.

Well... I think concern was making him

a little incoherent.

We collected 27 cats.

Now, of those, 21 had to be spayed

or neutered,

they were all full of fleas.

They all had to be needled.

They were in very poor condition.

They were showing signs

of malnutrition.

We don't condone neglect.

She started giving me the gears

that I don't take care of my kitties,

and this and that,

and I tried to explain to her:

Look. I had it figured out.

I built a food mountain.

And calculated how much time

I'd be away

and it was all gonna work,

but Mr. Lahey f***ed it up!

Point being...

that makes me a neglector.

I know, you're right.

Can I just get them?

I'll take them right now.

No. I'm afraid not.

$127 a cat times 27, you come up

with that and you can have your cats.

Jenn? Could you do a

run-up to Horton's?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Hey!

Come in after hours to see your cats.

Julian!

F***!

Where's Ricky? He didn't get out?

No. He got out.

I didn't think it'd be this bad!

What the f*** is Ricky doin'?

Look, don't tell him Randy and Lahey

shaved your head.

He'll f***ing freak out and attack them.

That's the last thing we need right now.

That's the last of my worries anyway.

I don't have that kind of money.

We'll figure that out, okay?

Why are we at the dump?

And why's he hidin'?

Man, you scared the f*** out of me.

I thought you were the cops.

What are you doing?

I told you to cover that up.

I can still see it.

It's almost done.

Department of Corrections?

What the f*** is that!?

We had to steal it to rob the liquor

store to get some start-up money.

My goodness...

Don't worry about it. Smooth as piss.

Where did you get the f***ing dope

Monte Carlo, man!

It's awesome. F***ing SS.

It's the company car.

Paid 4 grand for it, bud.

How much money's left?

Nothing.

Well, I had to buy tools.

I had to get the garage door.

which is going to go on tomorrow,

start-up costs.

You spent all the f***ing money.

Well, you gotta spend money

to make money.

that's the way business works, okay?

Actually, no, it's not.

You keep your money,

then you have your money.

That's how you f***ing make money.

And who the f*** made you in charge

of our money?

Who came up with the 4-year

business plan? Me.

Success. Yeah. Guess what?

I don't even get success.

Can everybody just stop fighting?

Listen... Look.

Since you don't even understand

what I'm saying here.

why don't I show you, get in the car.

Is that one of those f***ing

Hostess Munchies hats?

Yes.

It's awesome.

Give it back. Give it--

What in the f*** happened

to your head!

I was... messin' around.

My God...

He got drunk and high

and tried to cut his hair.

He f***ed up.

You did that yourself?.

My God, did you ever f*** it up!

No. I know.

That sucks, man.

Yeah, it sucks. It sucks moose balls.

And I did it.

Give me my f***ing thing.

Look! It's Shitwinkle and Cocky.

What the f*** are those idiots doing?

So much is riding on this.

We have all the tenants in the

new park, who have no sewer.

And we have to put the sewer line

through Julian's property.

And I am confident.

I have every hope

that Julian's gonna see the light.

and he's gonna accept my offer,

and be reasonable.

Julian... I gotta talk to you

about something really important.

Because if he doesn't,

I'm up sh*t creek.

Take a look at this trailer.

You haven't seen it for 2 years.

Look at it. It's falling down.

It's virtually condemned.

It needs to be destroyed.

This is totally rotten.

I've had it appraised.

A generous appraisal for $1,200.

Julian. I'm willing to offer you $1,400

and $700 Canadian Tire money.

And a chance for a new life

in my new park. What do you say?

You see this trailer?

My grandmother used to own that trailer.

Now, I own it. It's my home.

I'm gonna start up a business

in that trailer.

It's gonna be called Success Auto Body.

I've got a 4-year plan on it.

The wheels are already in motion, okay?

You're too late. Sorry.

Okay, Julian--

Come on, Randy.

Look--

Your minute's up.

Yeah, okay. I'm going.

I'm not gonna offer you...

I'm not gonna ask you

to sign anything here.

Thank you.

Just will you consider it?

Just consider the important nature.

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Mike Clattenburg

Mike Clattenburg is a Canadian director (television & film), producer (television & film) and screenwriter. He is best known as a creator, executive producer, writer and director of the TV comedy series Trailer Park Boys, for his work with This Hour Has 22 Minutes (January–November 2004), and as the co-creator of the Adult Swim series Black Jesus. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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