Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day Page #3

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Good night, guys.

You'd be a hero!

Thanks a lot. Thanks, Rick, Bubbles.

We're tired. If you guys wanna

come back tomorrow,

maybe have a couple of drinks

or whatever...

Success Auto Body...

That's kind of a shitty name.

Randy, see... there's no need of you

having to say that.

Just... there's no need of that

whatsoever.

Like, if you're gonna disrespect us,

I mean, I could just sit here and...

I could piss all over your new car,

if you want.

If you're gonna disrespect us,

maybe I'll disrespect you.

Ricky, f*** off, Ricky...

Just let them drive away.

He's pissin' on the car.

Very nice car. It is. I like it a lot.

You stared at his cock enough, Randy.

Thanks for coming down to see us.

I really enjoyed it.

Just remember:

you drew the first piss.

You just remember:

you drew first, f*** off!

Bubbles...

Sorry about the hair, bud.

It was an accident.

Yeah, yeah...

What the f*** is he talking about?

Did he...

You know what, Ricky?

Did you do this or did he do this?

I wasn't gonna tell you.

Those 2 bastards did it.

My f***...

Listen, It was an accident, come on.

What I'm gonna do to them

is gonna be an accident.

We can't just f***ing let them

get away with that!

Ricky is a problem.

He's always been a problem.

But... I'm hoping that he'll go

along with Julian's decision.

and that maybe we can turn over

a new leaf.

What do you want, Ricky?

F***ing talk to the 2 of you guys

by myself.

Randy, get in the house, Randy.

Frig off, Ricky.

You can't just go around shaving

people's f***ing heads.

It was an accident, Ricky.

Accident, was it?

You'd better clear out of this park.

You're not welcome here.

Ricky, this is home invasion, bud.

You wanna go back to jail, Ricky?

Ricky, calm down. Calm down!

I'll calm down in about 5 minutes.

Calm down. Listen, just calm down.

What the f*** do we

have here, Randy?

I was doing my hair

and Bubbles came in.

It was an accident, Ricky.

Have some rings, Ricky.

Calm down. Eat some rings.

Have something to eat.

I'd love some f***ing onion rings.

We can talk about this.

Just don't go crazy here, okay?

You deserve this, Randy.

for what you f***ing did to Bubbles.

You like that?

Stop, you're hurting me.

Guess what? You're getting

your f***ing head shaved right now

'cause nobody shaves

my f***ing friend's head.

What are you doing?! Ricky!

Stop f***ing squirming.

Ricky!

Get that away from me, Ricky!

That's for f***ing Bubbles, Randy.

Randy, are you okay, bud?

F***!

Ricky, open the goddamn door.

Yeah? Marker time...

What the f*** are you doin', Ricky?

Stop it!

Ricky...

Don't make me...

Do you have any idea

what you did to this town, Ricky?

You know what you did, Ricky?

I know exactly what I f***ing did.

Randy?

What the hell did you do?

Are you okay?

Just came over here to talk.

No big deal.

To talk...?

Randy made some food.

F***ing onion rings are delicious.

Have some, Bubs?

Oh, man, you're gonna pay this time.

You are really gonna pay.

What do I owe you?

Sh*t... I don't know

what Ricky did to Randy.

He's locked himself in the bathroom,

and he's crying.

What the f***

do you want me to do?

I'm getting f***ing drunk tonight!

Julian, it's not enough

to go through life

relying on good looks

and an incredible body.

The perfect man has got a good heart.

Sometimes, you gotta put other people's

interests ahead of you own, Julian.

That's a good, wholesome,

sexy thing to do.

F***.

Holy f***, we drank a lot

last night, Lucy.

Why don't we order

some goddamn chicken?

Drinking is not all we did

last night.

Good morning, Julian.

Good morning, Rick.

Good morning, Julian.

Hey.

I don't wanna sound cold, I mean,

like Julian and I,

you know, we've known each other

for a while, but he's gotta...

grow up a little bit, he's gotta...

take his life in a successful path?

Great. But I don't really want

any part of it.

You know, I have always blamed Ricky

for all their little shenanigans.

but frankly, it's Julian that invents

these little schemes,

and gets everybody involved, and then,

he brings everybody down with him.

Hey, boys!

Hey, what's up, man?

What's up, my man?

Thanks for coming for the interview.

What's he talking about, boy?

I told you about this, man.

I'm hiring for the shop.

Don't worry about it now. I'm taking

you guys out for a company breakfast.

I'll explain all the details then.

Yeah, man. Don't worry, man.

Interview? You said there was a show.

Yeah, it's for the shop, man.

I'll explain to you as we go, man.

I don't know if I'm feeling it.

Take it from me,

'cause I know what will happen.

I'm gonna make it in the rap game.

That will happen. That's a fact.

Same way that it's a fact

that Success Auto Body

will not be a success.

It should be called

Unsuccess Auto Body.

I took out a full-page ad,

and between the people that I know

that are gonna come,

wanting to hang out,

have something to eat,

listen to J-Roc.

And all the other people will read it.

I think it's gonna be pretty busy.

Maybe even too busy.

Julian got big plans.

but he...

he ego-writin' cheques

that his brain can't cash, dog.

What the f*** are the Ship Captain

and Tenille up to now?

I've done some research,

and I found out that if I did go

to court with Lahey,

he could actually expropriate my land,

and if that happens, I'm f***ed.

So, right now, I've gotta buy some time,

get along with him,

get the business running.

Once it's up and running,

he can't do a thing to me.

Listen... a lot of bullshit went down

with this head shaving, okay?

I just wanna clear the air,

and put this past us.

We can put this past us, Julian.

We can clear the air.

But first, I want you to see

what Ricky did to

Randy's beautiful hair.

Randy!

Nice hat, Randy.

Look at this.

Ricky shaved all his hair off

and scribbled it in with black marker.

We did what we could to fix it

trying to make it look normal.

It still looks f***ed!

I demand an apology from Ricky.

Just a sec.

I can't believe what you did

to his f***ing hair.

I didn't do all that. I just shaved

it once. It was squiggly!

I did the little curl, that's it.

They f***ed it up when they fixed it.

Come on. Our f***ing life depends

on this, Ricky!

Randy? He's got something

to say to you.

I'm sorry that you shaved

Bubbles' head.

It kind of made me get that done

to your head

with a permanent marker, and I didn't...

I don't know.

I'm sorry. I guess,

that it all happened.

F*** you, then.

Ricky...

Randy...

I don't know why you didn't just

wash it off.

I tried... I won't come out.

All right. Are you cool, Ricky?

Yeah.

You even, now, Bubs?

I believe I've achieved satisfaction.

Okay. You guys go wait in the car.

I gotta talk to Jim about his offer.

Randy...

I'm thinking more about that deal

you offered me.

Good.

It's starting to sound pretty good.

You come over tomorrow,

and I'll show you your new trailer.

It is fantastic.

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