Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day Page #4

---

I'm sure it will help you make up

your mind.

Just a second, Randy?

You don't need the hat, buddy, okay?

Here, take it.

It looks... you look good.

Looks tough.

Really?

Yeah.

Julian told him he looked tough.

Think he started to believe it, but...

He does not look tough,

he looks f***ed.

Okay, guys, nice and steady.

Keep it coming.

That's it. Slow it down.

All right, that's good. That's good.

That's good.

T. J-Roc, get over here.

Now with this newspaper ad,

it might get real busy tomorrow.

We might have

to turn people away, okay?

So, I want you guys to get lots of rest,

no drinkin' tonight.

All right, I can have a couple of drinks.

It's gonna be an early morning.

No drinkin'.

And Bubs, get rid of this church sh*t.

Y'all took that from a church?

That's cold, dog. You don't f***

with church, motherfuckers.

Come on, now.

Old people and their beans?

Come on, man.

What's wrong with you!

It's all good, man. Just go, man.

Hi!

Hey...

How are you doin'?

Good.

Come in.

Hey guys!

How are you doing?

F***. I'm sorry I let you down.

I'm gotta get you out, though.

See, these are all free-range kitties.

They don't like being locked up.

Free-range kitties?

Yeah, they do as they please.

That's their... whole thing.

It's cool if you don't... but,

do you wanna smoke a joint?

Yes, please.

It's kind of hard to explain, but...

I have these friends, and they're...

kind of like my family, and...

sometimes, they do dumb things,

you know, and...

I end up doing dumb things with them.

But it's only because I love them.

You know, they're... like my...

only family.

Yeah...

I hope you don't think I'm too crazy.

Are you feeling that yet?

Man...

F***, I love kitties.

Could something bad actually

happen to them

if I don't get them out of here soon?

It'll just cost too much

to keep them here.

Yeah...

Well, my friends are trying to raise

the money as we speak, so...

Perfect!

F***!

I don't know, Julian,

it's... close. I guess.

You guys wanna come in for a tour?

We can't have a great opening

without balloons!

Man. I'm sorry I f***ed up, man.

With the price of balloons nowadays...

Steel roll-up garage door I put in.

Come on in!

Success Auto Body.

All brand-new concrete floors.

All new lighting.

overhead lighting and side lighting.

Ricky did that. Nice job, Ricky.

Thanks, Bubs.

And that's the paint station there.

All the paints ready to go.

I can rock tunes on that music thing.

All the tools are hung up, ready to go.

We got recycling...

This is a professional-looking

operation.

I need to do my sound check.

Can't work with that gear.

Yeah, but what is it? A big concert?

No, but it was a deal.

So why don't you replace it

before the show?

Listen, it's about opening up

a business, all right?

With J-Roc performing.

Maybe I'll tell my fans not to come.

Listen, hold on. Boys...

we're officially open.

Let's go meet the customers.

Come on.

Yo!

Yo!

Hey, excuse me, Julian?

When do I rock the mic, dog?

Just wait for some customers.

I've been waitin', dog.

Just keep waitin', then.

Yo!

Yeah!

Yeah!... Yeah...

Yeah...

J-Roc...

Oh my!

Lahey...

Hey, Jim.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

Julian, what you managed

to accomplish here

in such a short time is...

it's very attractive.

I think you'll find that you've got

a little problem with the... location.

I'm willing to sweeten my offer:

I'll help you move your garage,

and I'll foot all the bills.

Why would he help you?

You're the one who f***ing had us

thrown in jail for the last 2 years.

We're victims of our own actions.

It's kind of like a stupid tax.

The stupider you are, the more you pay.

Yeah? Well, the more f***ed you are,

the more f***ed you are.

I hope you make the right decision,

Julian...

or things could get really nasty.

The two of you race in this slut

in the Grecian Formula One.

with your painted hair?

You going back to Baldhead Rock,

Mr. Lahey, with your whack car?

Stay out of the old park!

Go on and play

your leprechaun golf, b*tch!

You know what, Julian?

I'm not sure what success

is supposed to feel like.

but I don't think this is it, man.

I'm going to see the old man.

Come on, Julian!

Don't get discouraged now.

Can't give up. I can't give up.

Maybe I should have just went

with the radio ads.

Well, it's an idea.

Nobody reads the f***ing newspaper.

Here we go.

Can't not be feelin' it

Jared's got the quickness

Like a shorty with the thickness

And we been over this

and over this

'Cause you can't not be feelin' this

T, where's my track at, dog?

Man, it's over, man!

What you talking about ''it's over''?

You don't turn my track down

when I'm performing a show!

Ain't nobody here, man!

Nobody here? Bubbles is here, dog.

Ain't nobody feelin' it.

F***!

What are you talking' about.

''nobody feeling it'', dog?

Ain't nobody feelin' this, man.

I was feeling it. You don't...

What are you doing?

I'm taking my mic, man.

J-Roc. I was feeling it.

Positive thinking.

There's one thing I gotta know baby

Can you open that soul

just one more time

Hey, Rick!

Oh my, f***. Dad! This is it?

Come on up, man!

This is your new house?

A f***ing tugboat. I love it.

Buddy! Hey, man!

Watch your step here.

So, how are things going?

Not so good. I hear?

Success isn't doing so good.

is that what it is?

Not one customer, Dad. None...

F***, buddy, it's...

The problem is that... it's Julian, man.

He's... always running off

with these crazy ideas.

But that's his dream.

Don't you have your own dreams, Rick?

Dad... I mean, I do.

I just...

I feel so stu...

goddamn stupid sometimes,

and I don't know if I could do it

by myself.

Don't... I don't wanna hear

you say that, Rick.

Lucy's telling me you're gonna get

your grade 12, Rick.

I am.

I mean, think about that.

You know, there's nobody in our family

who's ever got their grade 12.

I've never even met anybody

who's got his grade 12.

and you're almost there, man.

That's smart.

That's true.

Well, I do have one pretty good idea.

Yeah?

I don't even know why it came to me,

but you know those green bins?

You can get them anywhere,

anyone's house.

They're all over the place.

You take one of those...

Put a light in the top,

one plant in the bottom.

Everybody's going to the mall buying

this shitty mall dope.

There's no good dope around.

Especially with me in jail.

I could sell them one of these things,

for a couple hundred bucks.

which I would make

at least 150 off that.

and they'd have a pound of weed

in 45 days.

Rick, listen to me, man.

That's a brilliant idea.

That's a brilliant idea.

You really think so?

Yes, and you can do it.

Let me just... let me just...

You know what these are, right?

They're battery cables, right.

Just regular battery cables.

But here's the thing.

All through life, man.

you've hooked one battery cable

onto your battery, which is good.

You need that.

But you've always taken this battery

cable, the positive battery cable...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes