Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day Page #9

---

Open it, Lucy. I can't do it.

All right. Okay, ready?

''Dear Richard''--

Come on, come on! What did I get?

''It is our sincerest... regret to''--

What did I get? What did I get?

Out of what?

So, I didn't get it.

Bubbles, where's Lahey?

He's inside. Why?

Stop what you're doing,

and come with me.

Why?

Now.

Let go!

What's goin' on, Julian?

You come for the keys to the trailer?

I'm not movin'.

Is it true what they say about you

and Randy?

Yeah. It is.

Julian... let me take care of you.

You get away from me!

You and I will have our day!

I look forward to that day, Julian.

Well, looks like I'm in now.

This is the exact replica

of the armoured van

that's gonna show up at the bank today

at precisely 5 o'clock.

Exact in every detail.

Really?

Think those guys made their decals

out of electric tape?

Don't pick at it.

These are my hockey sticks,

and old lattice work.

Trust me.

No one will notice the difference.

Are you serious about this?

What are we gonna wear?

Randy?

These are made out of foam.

They're not exactly bullet-proof.

They don't need to be.

They just have to look like they are.

No guns on this one.

That'd be armed robbery.

We don't have to go there.

I like the no guns thing.

Did Ricky agree to that?

No, we just have to go talk to him.

All right, let's suit up!

Ricky, I need to talk to you.

Come over, man! This is important!

We talked about this, okay?

I'm not doin' it. I'm with my family.

Don't be showin' up here,

trying to pressure me

to do stuff I don't wanna do.

Lahey tried to kill me.

Okay, this is an emergency.

Could you step outside for a minute?

Just what do you mean.

Lahey tried to f***ing kill you?

Lahey demolished Success Auto Body.

My f***ing trailer's destroyed.

What?

Yeah, Ricky. He almost killed him.

He's on the hard liquor. Hard.

Are you f***ing serious?

Yes! You gotta help us out, man!

We have to do this

before Lahey kills one of us, okay?

The armoured van is perfect.

I spent a lot of time on that.

It looks real, Ricky.

Come on. I've got an uniform for you--

Julian, I failed my f***ing grade 12.

Jail paper came today.

They said I failed

was what got wrote on it.

You listen to me.

Are you gonna let a little piece

of paper take you out?

Grade 12 is inside of you, man.

It's in your heart.

Just like it's inside of me,

just like it's inside of those 2.

Randy only has grade 6 on paper,

but grade 12 is inside of him, man!

Come on... You've been a fighter

for as long as I've known you, man.

Now shake this off. Get up! Come on.

So, you're in, Bubbles?

I'm in, Ricky.

I've got no choice. I'm in.

Do you know

what the f*** you're doin'?

I'm at the top of my game.

Come on, Ricky. Listen.

It's a f***ing piece of paper.

Come on, please...

When do you ever care about paper?

I don't. I don't give a f***

about paper. F*** paper.

That's right, get mad.

Right!

F*** books and f*** grade 12.

Even though we do... all have it in us.

Yeah, Ricky, come on!

Put it in. Let's do this.

I feel like doin' this.

Come on.

F*** it. Let's f***ing do it.

How long are we gonna be gone?

You're going to have a new RV

in 45 minutes.

I'm in.

Yeah!

Lucy. I'm gonna be back in 45 minutes.

Just gonna go for a little drive.

No big deal.

Where's my uniform?

No dicking around, Bubbles. In and out.

We gotta go. We gotta do this.

I know, Ricky. I know!

But I gotta do this.

they're cute.

Hi, Jenny, could I speak to you

in private?

We're very busy, and Jenny's got--

I really need to speak to her.

I can't have you barging--

I insist! I need to speak to her.

Bubbles? Hurry the f*** up,

and get the f*** out to the van!

One Robby Baker. "11-12".

You get the f*** in the van right now.

Time's gonna run out and you know it.

Ricky, relax for 2 seconds.

I'm not gonna f***ing relax! I'm not!

Jenny, don't worry about that.

Listen, we're about to do something,

and it's a bit tense.

And there's a chance that I might not

come back if things f*** up.

Will you promise me if that happens...

you'll look after my kitties, please?

I promise.

You will?

Yeah.

Pinky swear?

Pinky swear.

You have to.

Thank you. Jenny. You're the best.

Should never have come. Get in.

Bubbles?

F***! How much time do you need?

Do you wanna go on a date

or something?

Me and you on a date?

Yeah. To the movies, or...

I'd love to go on a date with you.

Hurry the f*** up!

Ricky, I swear the f*** on Jezebel

I'll f***ing corn-on-the cob you!

Bubbles, I'm sorry,

but it is f***ing time!

I'm sorry, I don't know who you are,

he's late for his work.

I apologize.

He's being a real dick today.

I'm being a dick?

You're being a f***ing dick.

Do you know what's

f***ing at stake here?

Get the f*** in the van.

Ricky, you're...

Look at these things.

That's what they're saying

to us right now. Get in.

Hey...

I want everybody to stay cool,

and stay calm.

If you stay cool, no one will know

the difference. Here we go, boys.

Let's go.

My God, man! It's locked!

It's f***ing locked.

Sorry, guys.

Here you go, guys.

All right... thank you.

Thanks.

Give me a hand, man.

Randy, come on.

We gotta get out of here.

You gotta go home.

For f***'s sakes!

You gotta get out of here right now!

You get out!

They're gonna rip you off, Randy!

They won't!

You wanna f***ing fight?

Mr. Lahey, just go!

My, Jesus. Look over there.

Mr. Lahe...

Julian, come in.

F***, f***, f***!

Guys, get the f*** out of here!

Are you crazy?

Mr. Lahey... F***!

F***, Lahey, you can't...

Guys, guys. It's just a drunk guy.

We know him.

He's in love with... our driver.

F***! What the f*** are you guys

doing here!

Just a documentary crew

doing a show about our work,

but you're not supposed

to follow us out here.

I told you to stay the f*** outside.

Stay back, guys.

Seriously, we got this.

Thank you for your response.

How dare you let Randy...

Things are getting fucky here,

get involved in your little sh*t fever.

Jim, you are out of line right now.

Do you want to see Randy go to jail?

That's why I'm here!

I don't wanna see Randy go to jail.

And I don't wanna see you go to jail

either, Julian, 'cause I love you.

I f***ing love you too, Jim.

All right?

Let's talk about this back at the park.

What did you say?

Let's talk about this back--

Before that.

Yeah, the other thing.

What, I f***ing love you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I knew it all along.

There's a lot of f***ing rumours

going around the park

about you loving Randy,

you taking Randy--

What are you talking--

You just told him you love him!

I just did that to get him

the f*** out of here!

Okay. Let's get out of here, then.

Stay calm.

I heard that, Julian.

I heard that...

You didn't actually think

he loved you?

Hey, bud? Going up?

Julian!

I'm afraid, help me!

My f***!

Julian! I'm gonna jump,

and it's all your fault!

Jim!

Keep calm!

What the f*** is wrong with you!

Why do you always gotta

follow us around,

and keep f***ing us around like this!?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes