Transamerica Page #3

Who's askin'?

l am a bearer of glad tidings.

Your son has come home.

Good.

- Toby, Arletty.

l brought back a surprise.

Come on in.

Look who's here.

lf you can't bring

Mohammad to the mountain,

bring the mountain to Mohammad.

Look how much you've grown.

Toby, give your father a hug.

l was worried sick about you.

Why did you run off like that?

You know l missed you.

- lsn't this sweet?

- Mm-Hmm.

l know what you missed.

You missed my mouth.

You missed my ass.

You hush now.

What are these ladies gonna think?

You wanna f*** me

right here in front of 'em?

You shut up!

Bobby!

Was that good for you?

Come on, Bobby.

You liked it.

- You liked it in the garage.

- Shut up!

Come on.

Toby?

Honey?

This man is heavy with sin.

Put him in that chair there.

l don't know you,

Bobby Jensen.

He'll come to in a couple of hours.

This isn't my fault!

You never told me

why you didn't want to come home.

Where are you going?

Brought you some breakfast.

He's walkin' down to the highway ramp

to hitchhike hisself a ride.

He's a disappearing act, all right.

lt's the same thing he did

after his mama killed herself.

- She what?

- Mm-hmm.

Shut herself up in the garage

with the car on.

Toby found her there

when he come home from school.

Oh, God.

Lovely scenery

in this part of the country.

l said l'd take a ride from you.

l never said l'd carry on

a f***ing conversation.

l was just trying to do you a favor.

God knows,

considering the way

you've been living your life,

it wasn't unreasonable

to try to put you under

some sort of parental supervision.

What's that?

ls that drugs?

Oh, no.

Absolutely not.

Goddamn it!

No! That is not all right.

You can't do that here.

Are you gonna let me do my thing,

or do l have to get out

of this f***ing car right now?

- Huh?

- Go ahead.

Kill yourself.

What does it matter to me?

One chocolate milkshake for you

and coffee for your mother.

- l'm not his mother.

- She's not my mother.

Thank you.

You promised

with the new moon

You'd be comin' back to me

Now many moons have passed

Still l'm waitin' patiently

There's a new moon

over my shoulder

And an old love

still in my heart

l didn't sleep a wink last night.

- Let's look for a motel.

- l'm camping out.

Do you have something

a trifle less...butch?

Fettuccine al fredo

or chicken cordon bleu.

Chicken.

Uh... matches?

F***!

Excuse me.

l have to go to the ladies room.

Do you think there

are snakes around here?

Shoo! Shoo!

Shoo!!

Get away, snake.

Get away, you snake.

Get away, snake.

Where did you get that?

l had it.

- What is that awful sound?

- lt's a loon.

Certain Native American tribes

of the Northern plains

believed loons were ancestral spirits,

trying to communicate

with the physical world.

My real dad's part lndian.

- ls he?

- Yeah.

l mean, he never told me,

but l just know.

lt's an lndian thing.

Do you think you could find it

in your heart

to offer a sip of that to a lady?

Are you sick or something?

l'm fine.

These are vitamins.

When l was a little girl,

l had a terrycloth bunny.

l used to sleep with her every night.

- Try holding your breath.

Then one day, my parents decided

l was too old for her,

and l never saw her again.

l found...

him...

in your step-father's garage.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, uh... here.

Rise and shine.

Come on.

Let's go.

l've gotta be in L.A.

By the end of the week.

What would you say if l told you

l could set you up with a job

in the telemarketing field?

The nice thing about telemarketing

is you can live practically anyplace.

l could drop you off in Austin.

l'm going to California.

My real dad has

a mansion there with a pool.

What do you see your life like

ten years from now?

Probably get a job at a pet store.

Have a dog, maybe some kids.

Kids.

l always wanted kids.

Perhaps you ought to aim for

something a little higher

than working in a pet store.

lf you like animals,

you could become a veterinarian

or a zoologist.

l'm out of cigarettes.

Quel dommage.

What does quel dommage mean?

lt means you're not

getting any cigarettes.

Are you a boy or a girl?

Turn around and stop

botherin' people.

Margaret, thank God.

l am in the middle of Arkansas,

and an eight-year-old child

just read me.

l can't handle this.

l had to camp out last night...

on the ground...

with bugs.

Because he is impossible.

l can't fritter away

my savings like this.

- My surgery's only five days away.

- Sh*t!

Dallas?

l don't know.

Four or five hours.

Why?

Ho-ho-hold on.

Toby.

Toby!

Would you mind introducing me

to your new friend?

Taylor.

Yeah.

This is Taylor.

lt's nice to meet you, Taylor.

What's goin' on here?

Come on.

Your mother's waitin'

for you in the car.

You better watch out he doesn't get

some poor, innocent girl in trouble.

You better watch out

she doesn't end up

ruining some poor,

innocent boy's life.

You...

go wait for me at the table.

Margaret...

l really don't think

l am cut out to be a mother.

Dear God, bless this meal,

and please help Toby

to find the strength

not to take any more drugs,

so that when we get to L.A.,

he can get a job

and find a nice apartment

so that even if he never finds

his real father,

he can lead an independent life.

Amen.

Amen.

There's a really cool hat back there.

lt's only ten dollars.

l think my nose is getting sunburned.

Eat your vegetables.

You might want to use a fork.

Just an idea.

l tell you what.

You can have that hat

on one condition.

No more drugs.

l mean it.

Deal?

Deal.

Got you a present.

Thank you. l'm very...

touched.

Put it on.

lt looks good.

l found Jesus

in the darkest night

You get back in here!

Do you have any idea

how dangerous that is?

ln, in!

- ln!

- Okay.

Get in!

- was holding on.

- You wanna give me a heart attack?

Did l scare you?

Why are we goin' to Dallas?

An associate of mine

has arranged a place

for us to stay for the night.

This Mary Ellen woman's

being very generous

to offer us her hospitality,

so l hope you will be

on your best behavior.

l'm always on my best behavior.

Sabrina and Toby, right?

l'm Mary Ellen.

Come on in.

l'm havin' a little get-together.

You two just come on in

and make yourselves at home.

Mary Ellen, come here.

Felicia's showing us

her new vagina.

l'm sorry.

They're feelin' a little feisty.

Everybody, this is Sabrina,

and her handsome

escort here is Toby.

- Hi.

- Hi.

How y'all?

Margaret said you were stealth.

l am in public,

but this is the privacy

of my own home.

Welcome to the first meetin'

of the gender pride

President's Day weekend

Caribbean cruise planning committee.

- We have to go.

- No.

Where you guys know each other from?

We don't.

She's a friend of a friend....

of a friend.

There's rum punch in the kitchen

and guacamole in the dining room.

Yeah, don't be so uptight.

lt's a party.

Margaret told me you were plannin'

to have your surgery soon.

Toby doesn't know about me.

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