Trick Page #4

things that ever happened to me.

Really?

Are you two...dating?

Dating?

Him?

We're not...dating.

Absolutely not.

Not in the romantic sense.

l mean, this thing between us,

it's purely animal.

Right, stud?

He's an animal.

l see.

Yeah, but we discovered

we're both out-and-out tops...

so we're makin'

the rounds tonight...

lookin' for a couple

of hot bottoms.

We got one.

Did l say you could talk?

-No, what?

-No, thank you?

-No, sir!

-No, sir.

He's still in training.

We fit.

l know.

We do. We fit.

Are you still staying

with that choreographer?

Yeah.

l haven't found a place yet.

We should talk.

Can l come over?

lt's OK.

Work this out.

Talk.

Yeah. Talk.

Sir.

That was nice.

What?

That.

What you just did.

l didn't do anything.

Come on.

Ten minutes, ladies.

Oh, my God.

Everyone l know is here tonight.

Oh, how sweet.

You have to read this.

They're from

an old boyfriend of mine.

Oh, l wonder if he knows

that my new boyfriend...

is here tonight, too.

Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh, give those to her.

Have a great show, everyone.

l think l know

who these are from.

-Who?

-Gabriel.

Oh, is that your boyfriend?

They're for you.

Oh, no, that's OK.

There's no more room.

You can keep them.

Thanks!

What?

She's watching us.

Who is?

So?

l think she's lonely.

No, she's not lonely.

She's--No.

l'm going to feed her.

She looks hungry.

Here, Trixie.

Do you have any menus?

l think l'm hungry.

You're always hungry.

You're always horny.

He's with me.

Don't we need our hands stamped?

Here, sexy.

-Hey, you never call me.

-Yup.

You want something to drink?

No, thanks.

Crowded.

Aren't you hot?

Hey, girl!

Dino!

Ooh, man,

l am f***ing horny tonight.

l better get laid,

that's all l'm saying.

lt shouldn't be too hard.

-l got a tattoo yesterday.

-What?

A tattoo on my ass.

You got to see it.

lt's so cool.

lt's hot in here.

Are you hot?

Down, boy.

You're wasted.

Totally trashed.

Do you need to sit?

No. l want to stand

here with you.

And you.

l forgot to put ointment on it.

My tattoo.

lt's so cool.

lt's a sailor--

total beefcake.

l can't see it without a mirror.

Where's the bathroom?

-What?

-The bathroom.

Back there.

Where'd you pick up Priscilla?

What a drag.

Girl needs to loosen up.

Yo, leave him alone.

Let's get out of here

before he comes back.

No. A friend invited me

to a party in Tribeca.

Yeah? Which friend?

Some rich guy.

Look, l'm not into hanging out

with a bunch of party burnouts.

Aw, it's not like that, baby.

lt's yummy.

So, are you and Mark boyfriends?

l'm sorry?

What's your name?

As in, ''Blow, Gabriel, blow''?

l've heard that before.

Yeah, well...

l'm Miss Coco Peru.

So, is Mark your boyfriend

or just a trick?

l don't know what we are.

Oh, l've heard that before.

Look...

l'm not one to gossip.

lt's not my nature.

Truth.

Now, that's my nature.

Uh, can you stand over there?

A little pee shy?

Oh, don't worry.

Miss Coco's here to help.

You look like a nice person.

You do.

So, as a truth seeker...

l feel it's my duty

to tell you...

that Mark is a no-good

f***ing piece of rat sh*t.

Don't get me wrong.

He's handsome.

He's charming.

Huge penis.

Oh, believe me, Gabriel, l know.

l'd really like to hear this,

but could you--

Turn around?

Sure.

Yeah, l remember the first time

l met him.

lt was two years ago,

Gay Pride Day.

l was on the train going home

from the festivities...

and he was sitting

across from me, sleeping.

But he wasn't really sleeping.

Oh, no.

He was pretending to sleep...

because he knows he looks like

an angel when he's sleeping...

and not the Antichrist

he really is.

And even though l could tell

he was faking...

l went along with it.

Call me crazy.

l don't know.

Anyway, we started talking...

and he gives me some line about

some old lady he lives with...

and he asks if he can

go back to my place.

l told him.

l don't invite strangers

up to my apartment.

And then he looks down

at his crotch...

and then back up at me,

and he says...

''lt's big, it's beautiful...

''and you're going to love it.''

And l said, ''Oh...

''all right.''

And as he walked me back

to my apartment...

on that gay night of nights...

he took my hand gently into his.

And for a moment...

l felt like the luckiest

drag queen in the world.

And l fantasized--

''Yes. This is it.

''This is the man

l'm going to spend...

''the rest of my life with.''

l'd be the one to show him

the virtues of a loving heart.

But do you know what he did?

He took that heart,

he tossed it on the floor.

With his little Satan hoofs,

he jumped.

He jumped hard.

The truth is, Gabriel, when

we got back to my apartment...

he threw me on the bed.

He tore off all my clothes.

Will you hold on

one goddamn minute?!

Come on!

Jesus Christ.

Now l forgot where l was.

Where was l?

Threw you on the bed,

tore off all your clothes.

Right.

So l'm licking his balls.

Next thing l know...

he comes in my eye,

and he's out the door.

Gone.

You ever get come in your eye,

Gabriel, hmm?

lt burns.

So, there l was...

lying in the middle of my bed

completely naked...

with an eye full of come,

thinking to myself...

And then, the next day...

when l call the number

he'd given me earlier...

it was the Brooklyn

Botanical Gardens.

And would believe?

They never even heard

of a Mark Miranda.

But am l bitter?

Absolutely.

Let's face it, Gabriel.

You are just another

little phone number...

on a dirty cocktail napkin...

shoved into the bottom

of his pocket.

Good boy.

But do what you will.

l only offer you

this information...

because l'm a giver.

Who knows?

Maybe someday

we'll meet again...

and l'll be able

to look at you and say...

''l told you so.''

Totally sick, right?

Sick.

l'm glam, baby.

You don't even know

how glam l am.

You want me?

What's wrong with you?

Good night, Dino.

-l'm going.

-What?

Where do you work out?

Sorry.

l'm with someone.

Why are you sitting in the hall?

Why'd you come back?

You're upset.

No, no, l'm not upset.

We shouldn't have gone there.

No. lt was good we went.

Really.

You didn't need to come back.

Yes, l did.

Can we go in and talk?

They're still going at it.

Yeah,

so you should probably go home.

l can't.

l think l left my keys

in your apartment.

l'll knock.

Sh*t. Sh*t.

Who's that?

Yeah. Who is it?

lt's Gabe.

We're not finished.

Can you come to the door?

l need to talk.

-Sorry.

-What do you need?

Mark thinks he left his keys.

Judy, do you see some keys?

Where'd you leave them?

l don't know.

Maybe near the bed.

l don't see them.

Maybe you guys

should just come in and look.

lt'll be faster that way.

No. You're not coming in.

He can't go home

until he finds his keys!

All right,

but you better be gone...

by the time

l'm out of the bathroom.

All right.

Can you help us look?

Well, where would they be?

l'm not sure.

Did you guys just meet

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