Trouble for Two Page #7

the outcome of the duel,

"And he may act as your second.

"In other words,

for a chance to kill you,

I am willing to give you

a chance to kill me."

"If you do not come.

"Or if you endeavor to engage

the support of the police,

"Be assured I will not hang

the colonel until daybreak -

Dr. Noel."

Well, I guess

that settles scotland yard.

Brenda:

What are you going to do?

"Do"? What can I do?

Wait until 2:
00,

follow instructions,

And meet dr. Noel

as he requested.

I didn't think

the doctor was capable.

Of being quite so sporting.

Oh, you're doing him

a great injustice.

He's going to meet you

on the field of honor,

Let you kill him,

free geraldine,

And to ensure your safe return

to carovia,

Provide you with an escort

of his worthiest henchmen.

To protect you.

Yes. Yes, you're quite right.

I wonder

what makes it possible for him.

To think up these little tricks.

You don't suppose it could be

the shape of his head, do you?

Very likely.

A challenge -

And he knew you'd accept it.

Yes, of course.

And he won't be alone.

Well, we have until 2:00

to think up something.

And then trap or no trap, I'll

have to follow instructions.

When I was young, I read a book

on fighting the american indian.

It was an excellent book.

I read it twice.

Dr. Noel is a lot of things,

but he's not an american indian.

The point the book made

was that the american indian.

Is successfully fought

only by his own methods.

Ooh, crumpets.

Do you always think best

with your mouth full?

Mm-Hmm.

I've got it.

What?

Wait a minute now.

One more detail.

And we'll return

getting them to...

Those zulu torture implements.

You know, I envy you, major.

I must say,

they improve my collection.

Would you like to stop off

at my flat and see them?

Oh, quite. Righto.

Um, the albany, my man.

I say, this fellow is driving

as if he meant business.

Dash it all, the blighter's

nowhere near piccadilly.

You don't suppose he's taking us.

To some lowly spot

to be held up?

If he is,

he'll have his hands full.

Hello, there.

Florizel:
Yes, sir?

What is it, sir?

Uh, where do you think

you're going?

To mr. Morris' villa, sir.

You fool. We said the albany.

We don't want to go to any

mr. Morris' villa.

I thought you might, sir.

He's giving a sort of party,

And he asked me to secure

as many gentlemen as I could.

In evening dress

before midnight.

"By preference -

Military officers.

With a taste for adventure,"

he said.

Uh, what manner of nonsense

is this?

He also asked me to say that

there is a certain project.

Requiring the services

of brave men,

A hazardous project

but strictly in keeping.

With the honor of a gentleman.

Suppose we refuse to accept.

Mr. Morris'

most irregular invitation?

Then, sir, I am to drive you

back where I took you from.

Mr. Morris says men who have

no stomach for adventure.

Are not the men for him.

How is your stomach, major?

Drive on, my man,

but, mind you, no hanky-Panky.

No, sir. No hanky-Panky.

And now, gentlemen,

may I ask your names?

I am major o'rook.

Major o'rook?

Oh, yes, of course.

I've seen your picture

in the papers.

The zulu campaign, I believe.

I was there, sir.

And a very fortunate thing

for england that you were, sir.

And yours, sir? Captain rich.

You may call me mr. Morris.

And now, gentlemen,

If you will accept my

hospitality for a few moments,

I will answer a few

of the questions.

Which I know you

would like to ask.

Will you announce

these two gentlemen, please?

Major o'rook and captain rich.

Yes, sir.

Major o'rook and captain rich.

Well, well, well, what's this?

Why, hello, major.

Abeget -

Saw you at the club an hour ago.

You, too, major. Quite so.

Oh, mr. Hall, mr. Deary.

How do you do? How do you do?

Uh, what do you make

of all this?

I don't know.

But very hospitable, though.

Oh, uh, please,

go on with your game.

Righto.

Will you excuse me, please?

Surely. Why, of course.

Well, what do you think of them?

Yes and no.

The last two seem the best yet.

I've weeded out several already.

Bad losers at cards, nerves,

or talk too much,

Didn't drink well -

There are enough left, I think,

if they all stay.

What did you tell them?

Something different

for each one.

I lie very well, you know.

Yes.

Yes, I have found that out,

miss vandeleur.

Glad I came?

Very.

And now you're going.

No, I'm not.

From now on, this task is mine.

It's time to get them together

and put the question.

It is, indeed.

So?

Tell me this - Suppose

these men disappoint you,

Suppose none of them

will stand by,

Will you go anyway, alone?

Yes.

Florizel.

Yes?

I wanted to find out

what sort of man you were.

Well, I have found out.

Will I do?

I will never meet anyone

who will ever do half as well.

Nor i.

Yes, this is the place.

Is it?

But this ain't nowhere.

Eh, if it ain't nowhere,

it must be somewhere.

Good night.

Shall I wait, sir?

No, off you go.

Just as you say, sir.

Ah, my reception committee.

Raise your hands, please.

All right, come along.

Not finished yet?

Almost.

Looks remarkably like a grave.

A grave, it is.

About the right size.

Well, you'll be comfortable

in it anyway.

Come along.

You'll have to get rid

of that stick.

Oh, sorry.

You shouldn't have come here!

Sit down!

Good evening, dr. Noel.

I'm sorry

if I've kept you waiting.

Gerry, you didn't expect

to see me here, did you?

Why did you come here? Why?

Why?

My invitation was so attractive,

I couldn't resist it.

I need scarcely say.

How delighted I am

to see your highness.

As I am the challenged party,

I have the choice of weapons.

Shall we say rapiers?

No.

No, your highness.

No rapiers.

Possibly,

you would prefer pistols?

I'm afraid

all that we have is...

A rope.

I see.

A field of dishonor.

I deeply regret the necessity.

Of dispensing with sportsmanship

and honor on this occasion.

But I cannot indulge myself

in such a luxury.

At the expense of my country.

Your country?

Yes.

My country.

Your destruction,

Or shall we say the destruction

of what you represent,

Has a higher claim upon me

than any satisfaction.

Of my personal honor.

You see, I am a true patriot.

I seem to be in error, gerry.

You are not to be my second.

Why not?

You shall die first.

He shall die second.

You are more ingenious

than witty, sir.

You're not amused? So sorry.

Now, sir, are you ready?

I know that last requests

are tedious.

May I write a farewell note?

Certainly.

Pen and ink for his highness.

I would have done this before,

But, you see,

I expected to kill you.

I salute your courage

but not your judgment.

What an asset you would have

made to the patriotic cause.

What a pity

you were born a prince.

I thought so myself once.

I'm not so sure of it now.

What's the matter, old girl,

are you hungry?

I have no postage stamp.

And now, sir.

Hands up! All of you!

Hands up, I say.

Search them. Search them all.

Not bad, eh, gerry?

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