Trouble for Two Page #6

and be irregular?

Oh, but I mean to say that

neither of your royal fathers.

Would approve of you

having breakfast together.

Nonsense, gerry. Sit down.

What on earth are you doing?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

It shan't happen again, sir.

What's the matter with you,

waiter?

I'm - I'm very sorry, sir.

I can't seem to help it.

I- I'm not quite myself today,

and that's a fact.

That's quite obvious.

What's the matter?

I do beg your pardon, sir.

It's - It's nothing, sir.

Are you ill?

No, not what you call

"ill," sir.

What is it? What's the matter?

Well, miss, I can't be bothering

you with my own affairs.

You'd only laugh at me.

Nonsense. Tell us.

Well, miss, he's almost

all I've got in the world.

They're trying to kill him.

Who's trying to kill whom?

It's my little dog, sir.

A blooming parrot flew in at

the window and frightened my dog,

And he got excited

and killed him.

The parrot killed the dog?

No, the other way around, sir.

But the parrot

belonged to a toff.

He gets angry and goes to a beak

and complains.

And now the beak is going to try

my dog for murder.

Oh, nonsense.

That isn't possible.

It's the same thing, sir.

It's a little irregular,

I suppose.

But they being toffs,

it's fun for them.

They make a sport of it.

But it's not to me.

What's a beak?

I fancy a kind of judge.

What time is the hearing?

Half an hour from now, sir.

It ain't far from here,

but I ain't got the heart to go.

Because I know

I couldn't do anything.

To save my poor little dog,

even if I was there.

Odd sort of thing -

Trying a dog for murder.

I do hope you'll overlook

my goings-On, sir.

It's as much

as my place is worth.

If the manager ever heard of it.

Gerry, we've got to do something

about this.

What?

Well, you can't let collins

lose his dog.

Just because he's murdered

a wretched bird.

Oh, well, now,

really I don't think...

Collins. Sir?

I'll go to court with you.

You meet me outside

in five minutes.

I'll make the arrangements

with the hotel.

Oh, sir, thank you, sir.

You're a very

bighearted gentleman.

Thank you, sir.

You're really not thinking

of doing this.

Certainly, and so are you.

Well, upon my word -

It isn't every day.

You get a chance to see a dog

tried for murder.

I wouldn't miss it

for anything in the world.

Come along. Oh.

May I say something?

Yes, of course.

Think twice before you do this.

I think it's foolish.

Foolish?

Madam, that's my nature.

I'm a carovian.

Well, have you forgotten that

there's someone here in london.

Who would very much like

to kill you?

What could this possibly have to

do with the suicide club?

I don't know.

But it sounds to me like

one of their ideas.

Nonsense.

Come along, gerry. Get your hat.

Yes, well, if I'm going along,

I'll take my aunty's

plum pudding and have it waxed.

After we get the dog acquitted.

Please don't quarrel anymore.

I'm a little frightened.

Frightened?

Oh, please, don't go.

It's reckless.

I think it's even dangerous.

But what would you do

if you were I?

Well...

I suppose I'd go.

Well, if we're going to do this,

let's get it over with.

Prince florizel,

how do you plead?

A very neat trap,

mr. President -

Elaborate but irresistible.

Isn't it?

I was pretty certain.

That I had combined the exact

elements to bring you here.

Your wholesome curiosity

and your weakness for adventure.

Are engaging qualities,

your highness.

Too bad it should prove

your undoing.

But we cannot tarry too long

over these niceties.

How do you plead,

your highness -

Guilty or not guilty?

Of what am I accused?

Treason.

Treason?

That's a serious charge, sir.

Treason to what?

To the people of carovia.

I didn't know -

Who is my accuser?

Dr. Franz noel.

Oh, yes.

Yes, I've heard of him.

If I remember correctly,

He himself was exiled

for treason once -

An act of mercy

on the part of my father,

Mistaken mercy.

I assure you that mistake

will not be repeated.

In the case of your highness.

And where is this dr. Noel?

I, sir, am dr. Noel.

Why, you upstart! You.

Just a moment.

May I commend

your cleverness, sir?

I presume that the whole

machinery of the suicide club.

Was contrived

so that you might kill me.

Without risk to yourself.

Very nice, indeed.

Oh, no, sir.

You do me too great honor.

The suicide club was quite real.

And I might say

that, for sometime,

It's been the source

of a very neat revenue for me.

And very pleasant work.

So you can imagine

my surprise and pleasure.

When you walked in that night.

Look here, you maniac,

If you don't open those doors

and release us -

One moment, please.

Dr. Noel's discourse

is most interesting.

I presume that my offense

is a capital one,

Undoubtedly punishable by death.

Oh, by all means.

I don't see

how it could be otherwise.

Do you?

And of course you have in mind.

No such old-Fashioned

irrelevancy as a fair trial.

A fair trial,

as you call it, your highness,

Would prove only

a tedious quibble.

No. In the interest of time,

we can dispense with that.

I think not. No trial.

Anything else?

May I inquire as to the method

of my execution?

Traitors are usually hanged.

For all its imperialistic

origin, hanging has its value.

You'll find an excellent

improvised gallows.

In my private chamber.

And have you taken

into consideration.

That you also will hang?

Oh, how inconsistent

you are, sir.

First, you flatter,

then you underestimate me.

No.

There's a lime pit

somewhere in london.

Your disappearance will be

as complete and unobtrusive.

As our escape.

And now, don't you think.

That we've enjoyed each other's

discourse quite long enough?

I do not wish to bore you, sir.

Stay where you are, you swine!

There's enough high explosive

in this bomb.

To send all of you

to kingdom come.

Don't think I didn't suspect

a trick when I came here.

But I came prepared.

Get away from that door!

Go on, get away.

Get around, I say.

Now, go on, get back there.

Get back, get back, get around.

Get around, I say.

Now, go on over there

with that -

Oh!

Dr. Noel:
Stop them!

Quick!

This way - The door!

I'm right behind you.

Constable.

Constable, a friend of mine

is in terrible trouble.

Come quickly.

Trouble? Where? Of what nature?

Bramley street. Criminals. I'm

afraid they're gonna kill him.

Anarchists. Anarchists? Lead on.

Well, sir, where are they?

And where's your friend?

He must have gotten away.

Wait a minute.

There's a gallows in that room.

The gallows

seem to have got away, too.

"Mr. Godall, colonel geraldine

is safe, for the moment -

"Shall we say a prisoner of war?

"As we are both gentlemen,

"I now feel that this entire

affair should be settled.

"On the field of honor.

"So if you value

colonel geraldine's life,

"You will come

at 2:
00 tomorrow morning.

"To the place designated

on the enclosed map.

You will come alone."

"If you come, colonel geraldine

will be released.

"No matter what

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