Trouble in Store Page #3

How about displaying this new china?

- Send it to my office. I'll decide later.

- Thank you.

(Posh accent) Miss? Excuse me.

Should anybody require my services,

I'll be dressing window seven.

I must apologise for interrupting you.

Do carry on.

'Ere, Mr Graham, I've been promoted.

I'm a window-dresser.

You remember me, Norman.

I used to be in the stockroom.

Used to be!

I think perhaps a little titivation here

and a little titivation there too.

And doggy a little more prominently

and we can't possibly go wrong, can we?

(Humming merrily)

# I'd like to state that... #

(Inaudible through glass)

(Bystanders laughing)

(Inaudible)

- What on earth are you doing here?

- Mr Freeman sent me.

- I'm the new window-dresser.

- You? How utterly grotesque.

- Any comment from the staff?

- Oh, yes, sir. They like you.

- You've got a wonderful personality.

- Thank you.

- (Sighing) What is it, Robson?

- It's the police.

A crowd is causing an obstruction.

The window-dressing must be stopped.

Crowds, obstruction - splendid!

Wait till I get in my stride!

Miss Drew, we shall investigate.

(Applause)

Norman, you're fired!

And that's the end of that.

And I thought I was going to

realise my life's ambition.

Now I'm fired.

I don't suppose I shall

ever see her again now.

Didn't you tell her about it?

No.

You were right.

Banana brain.

Yes, that's not bad.

Turned out quite well.

It's in all the evening papers, sir.

Everyone's saying you made

a sensational start.

I'm anxious to put

some life into the business.

This little idea of mine

is just the beginning.

I'm sure. We've never had

publicity like this.

What about this fellow Norman?

They want a story on him.

- Where is he?

- Norman? Oh, Norman!

Of course, I'll get him for you.

Get me the stockroom, quickly.

Invaluable man, Norman.

- (Mr Freeman) Norman.

- Yes, sir, I'll get him. Norman, phone.

- Yeah?

- (Feedback)

Norman, I'm so glad I found you.

I hope you didn't take my joke seriously.

You shouldn't say things

you don't mean.

Naturally I didn't mean you

to leave our service.

- You apologise.

- I apologise?!

Thank you.

Norman, it's Mr Freeman.

Freeman. All right, Freeman,

I'll look in if I'm passing.

- It's the chief. We've got our job back.

- Chief, we've got our job back... Chief.

Yes, sir... no.

Never again, sir, oh, never.

Yes... thank you...

Definitely got the job back? Yes.

Got the... Got the job back! Job back!

- He's certainly nice-Iooking.

- It's OK for records

but you want more

when you're buying a home.

- What on earth?

- What's this?

- Who the dickens is Norman?

- What about that?

(Conductor) That's the lot,

thank you. Full up, thank you.

Like to get my hands on the big ox

that broke my bicycle.

I bet you would.

(Conductor) Let 'em off first, please.

- What's going on?

- C'est un accident. They push me...

And you pulled. Cheek!

Oh, no, you don't!

- Permettez, mademoiselle, to zip you up.

- My name's not Muggins!

I've heard all about you Frenchmen.

Here, Sally, zip me up.

Je suis dsol. Permettez-moi que...

If you lay another finger on me, I'll call

the policeman, so help me! Cheek!

Gendarme, compris?

This ain't the Folies Bergres, you know!

Oh, dear. It's jammed.

Here, hold that a minute for me, please.

Come on, Sally. This one's ours.

That's enough.

Hey, Sally! Oh!

Sally! Sally, you forgot your handbag!

You won't be able to pay your fare!

Sally!

Conductor, stop! Stop!

Sally, look, your bag!

Hey, hold up! Hold the bus, please!

Clear, please.

Look out!

I can't stop!

(Screaming)

Every man for himself!

Sally!

Taxi!

I say there!

Sally!

Oi! Slow up!

Sally!

(Screaming)

(Crash, men shouting angrily)

Excuse me?

Oh, my bag!

How did you know it was mine?

You gave it to me in the bus queue.

Remember?

Of course I did. Thank you.

Suppose I better be going now.

- Want some?

- Thank you.

Oh, I meant for the ducks!

Come on, then. Come on, my pretty.

Nearer. Nearer.

Come on. Come on, darling.

Come closer. Come on.

Come on, nearer. That's right.

(Whistling I Want To Put On Record

That I Love You)

Oh, of course. What a small world.

You made a record with me.

I remember, you rushed off.

- Do you work round here?

- Burridges.

- No, I work at Burridges.

- I know. So do I.

Oh! What department?

Stockroom. I'm gonna get promoted,

though. I'm Norman.

Norman.

- Not the Norm...

- Look!

I wish they wouldn't go.

That one hasn't had anything.

Wish he'd come in.

Norman, careful!

Ah! Help!

Careful!

Oh, don't laugh at me.

(# Harmonica)

# I'm not good-Iooking

# I'm not too smart

# I may be foolish

# But I've got a heart

# I love the flowers

# I love the sun

# But when I try to love the girls

# They laugh at me

# And run

# Don't laugh at me

# Cos I'm a fool

# I know it's true, yes

# I'm a fool

# No one seems to care

# I'd give the world

# To share my life with someone

# Who really loves me

# I see them all falling in love

# But my lucky star's up above

# Some day maybe

# My star will smile on me

# Don't laugh at me

# Cos I'm a fool #

- But listen, darling...

- You snake!

You selfish oaf of a thing!

You stuck-up apology for a man!

You conceited Casanova! You!

- Isn't there a cheaper way to say hello?

- You watch this isn't goodbye.

You know you're the only one.

- When you've got me like this.

- This is how I always want you.

Liar! Look, Gerry, I warn you,

this is your last chance.

If I catch you raising

an eyebrow at another woman...

Cross my heart!

And keep away from the store too,

until I give you the word.

- I expect a decision from Freeman today.

- We're all set. Our plan can't miss.

Just to remind you.

(Knocking)

- Come.

- Good morning, chief.

And a very good morning to you too,

Miss Drew. A very good morning.

- You never forget.

- I look forward to this moment.

What exquisite perfume.

It's quite overpowering.

The carnations are at their best now.

I wasn't thinking of the carnations,

Miss Drew... Peggy.

Is everything

organised for tonight's event?

- Yes, there'll be about 150 staff present.

- Excuse me, Miss Drew.

Thank you, Miss Higgins.

Yes, one must unbend occasionally.

It will be nice to meet them socially.

Miss Drew, Peggy, you know I have

complete confidence in you.

And I in you, sir.

- I'd like you to share my... my secret.

- Oh?

July 1 st is D-day for Burridges.

The sale of the century.

Oh.

Peggy, whilst we're alone, I'd have no

objection to you using my first name.

- Oh, sir!

- It's Augustus.

Oh, how dominating.

This place is like Paddington station.

Very well, Miss Drew,

we'll continue our little... conference later.

Of course, sir. Certainly.

(# Swinging big band)

Thank you, boys and girls, thank you.

Now, the next song will be a Paul Jones.

Ladies in the centre.

Gents on the outside.

Now, come along everybody,

on the floor, on the floor.

(Man, laughing) Evening dress!

(2nd man) The dandy of Burridges.

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