True Memoirs of an International Assassin Page #5

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- I'll spank you like a small child.

[in normal voice] Oh, yeah? Why don't

you try, and see what the Ghost does?

- You are not the Ghost.

- Really?

Where's your gun?

Like I said, all words.

Oh... Maybe I am the Ghost...

[grunts]

God! Really?

Oh, man.

Now it is your eyes that are glassy.

[woman speaking Spanish over radio]

What is it?

- [Juan] The army.

- The army's bad?

When you're a rebel trying to overthrow

the government,

it doesn't get much worse.

- Come on.

- All right.

- [Juan] We wait here till night falls.

- But that's your truck across the street.

If they see us, they'll shoot us.

They find us here, they'll shoot us here.

We gotta go to the truck.

- Not a good idea.

- Come on, Juan.

- Get out of your head, get in the game.

- Hey!

- [tires screeching]

- [horn honking]

[keys jangling]

[siren wailing]

[men speaking Spanish]

[sighs]

[speaking Spanish] El bao?

[scoffs]

[sighs]

[speaking Spanish] El bao, por favor?

[shushes]

- El bao, can I...?

- [shushes]

[in English] Don't talk.

What is your involvement...

with El Toro...

and Anton Masovich?

[in English] Masovich wants me

to kill El Toro. El Toro,

he wants me to kill the president.

Confusing, right? It's...

I wasn't gonna do it, by the way.

I would never...

I wasn't gonna kill the president.

- It took El Toro long enough.

- Excuse me?

El Toro has been turning the people

against the president for years.

Let me guess.

He wanted you to do it

at the inauguration ball.

Yes.

- So clich. [chuckles]

- I thought so, too.

- It felt a little on the nose, you know?

- Listen.

Mason, Ghost, whatever your name is.

- Sam. My name is Sam.

- Sam.

I had a tiny cat named Sam.

That would be a kitten.

- In the States, we call it a kitten.

- Kitten.

Thank you.

Listen, Sam.

Forget all those offers.

The president needs you

to help him take out Masovich.

Masovich? I would have thought...

El Toro... I'm just lost.

I'm just...

If El Toro needs you, then he clearly

can't get to the president on his own.

Masovich, on the other hand, has had

his claws in the president for years.

The longer the president

appeases Masovich,

the greater the chance

that he will be exposed and disgraced.

Yeah. [sighs]

I just wanna go home.

And I will get you home, if you do this.

Will you kill Masovich?

I really don't want to, so...

Then you will be tried and executed

for plotting to assassinate

the president of Venezuela.

I'll do it, though, I mean...

I'm happy to hear that.

What is your plan?

I'll do it at the inauguration.

Really? Same place

you were going to kill the president?

If everybody thinks

I'm gonna kill the president,

no one will suspect

my actual objective.

And with Masovich's bodyguards

all outside during the party,

- he will be at his most vulnerable.

- Are you sure it will work?

Already did. Islamabad, '02.

Afghan arms dealer never made it home

from the state dinner.

- [Ruiz] I like how you think.

- He's talking about Chapter 12.

Why would an actual assassin write a book

about being an assassin?

- It's beyond stupid.

- Or is it so beyond stupid it's brilliant?

No, it's just stupid. That's it.

Look, I'm taking this guy off the board,

all right?

- I'm gonna go get the C-4.

- Oh, don't start with the C-4.

We can't kill an American.

Well...

not directly.

[glass shatters]

[Anton] Traitor!

He is an international assassin.

Of course he's gonna go

with the highest bidder.

And right now, that's General Ruiz.

You really should read his book.

I want every cop in the city

looking for that pig.

And when they find him,

I want him to die a long, painful death.

- Understood.

- [Anton] And tell Paolo

to bring me another Zima

and clean this up.

You killed Paolo, Jefe.

What the hell, Anton?

You can't just shoot someone

in front of us.

At least wait until we leave.

Damn!

All right. Whole night's ruined.

[Cleveland sighs]

[agent] That's just...

- Something is wrong with you.

- [agent] I know.

- [Cleveland] In the head.

- [agent] It's not even...

[banging on door]

How did you get here?

Did anyone spot you?

Well, why don't you take a look at me,

and then take a look at everybody else

who lives here?

I'm gonna say,

yeah, I think I was spotted.

[Sam] Here you go.

I could've done that myself.

I opened it for you. It's not a big thing.

So, this is your case against

Masovich, huh?

Five years of my life.

It looks a lot like my place.

Yeah, except the stuff on my walls

is real.

Yeah? How's this for real?

I just met with the president's

number one adviser.

- General Ruiz?

- Mm-hm.

- How did you get a meeting with him?

- How I get most of my meetings here.

I was abducted.

Guess who he wants me to eliminate

at the inauguration ball.

[whispers] Masovich.

- Bingo-vich.

- [Rosa chuckles]

[detective speaking Spanish] All arriba.

[Sam] So, I gotta ask, why are you

so obsessed with taking down Masovich?

The country would be a lot better off

with him behind bars and...

- President Cueto out of power.

- I mean, why you?

Because my parents grew up here.

Because the DEA assumed I'd fail.

And honestly, because if I don't do it...

- who will?

- It just...

It just seems so dangerous, you know?

You're down here by yourself and...

Is it really worth risking your life?

We're all gonna die.

Not all of us get to make a difference.

I know I certainly haven't.

If I could get the president to admit,

on tape,

to ordering the hit on Masovich,

I could probably get them

to turn against each other.

Maybe get one of them to flip.

You're definitely gonna get yourself

killed.

[Rosa] I'm not talking about me.

You.

Tomorrow night at the inauguration,

wearing a wire.

- Oh, no, no, no.

- This could be your chance

to start making a difference.

I promise...

I won't let anything happen to you.

- [gunshot]

- [Sam screams]

- My shoulder!

- Get down!

[Sam] I got shot! I got shot!

What about not letting anything

happen to me? I'm dying. I'm dying.

- You're not dying. Shut up!

- You shut...

- Ever been shot before?

- Yeah, twice.

Yeah, I got shot square.

Okay, I'm definitely dying.

I can't feel my thumb.

- What the hell?

- Go!

[Rosa] Come on.

Let's go.

Huh?

No!

[men screaming]

[Rosa] Hurry up!

Come on. I've got a go-bag at the mission.

So, let me guess.

The hero from your book

used that trick with the lamp.

Well, no.

The last actuary table I ran

was on home electrical fires.

So, we can thank Trent's d-pic. [chuckles]

That sounds very, very weird.

Um... 'Cause you don't know Trent.

And it's weird on its own.

[Sam grunts]

[stammers] Wouldn't a hospital be better?

Can't go to a hospital. [sighs]

You don't get it, do you?

Those guys were cops.

Masovich owns this city.

I wasn't joking when I said

the DEA wrote me off.

I've been down here on my own forever.

I don't have any more resources.

That was my last safe house.

Well, then, how would I be getting

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