True Memoirs of an International Assassin Page #7

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Dude, yes. Come.

Will this work?

I hope they can get blood

out of the carpet.

[grunting]

Mr. President, I was hoping

to talk to you about Anton Masovich.

[speaking Spanish] S.

[in English] I made sure I had Zima

for that little pain in the ass.

Man, I so hate all of this.

There are times when I really wanna

put a gun in my mouth.

Have you had a job like that, americano?

Actually, I did.

[Anton groans]

I wish you'd take a bribe like the others.

Sorry, I'm not that kind of girl.

[screams]

Gracias, put down.

I'm starving.

Juan.

[Cueto speaking Spanish] Cerveza.

[speaking French] Pardonnez-moi.

S'il vous plat.

[speaking Italian] Ciao, ciao.

[in English] Of course, seor.

What if I could make

your Masovich problem go away?

[in English] Pig?

You mean, like, go away forever?

Just say the word.

I don't care you're a woman.

I'm still gonna kill you.

- [Anton groans]

- [Rosa grunts]

Good to know you're

an equal opportunity douche bag.

[screams]

[in Spanish]

There's a disturbance outside.

[in Spanish] Find the president.

Who was with him?

He was last seen with a Mr. Mason Carver.

He flipped.

He's trying to kill the president!

[in English] Didn't General Ruiz

already talk to you about this?

- Talk to me about what?

- The thing.

- What thing?

- The thing.

The thing that you're asking me about.

I was asking you about...

- what?

- About our little friend.

Which one?

Masovich. [laughs]

- Oh. So, you're saying, if I'm clear...

- [shouting] I want you to kill Masovich!

- What is wrong with you?

- Nothing is wrong.

- Everything is great in the world.

- Wait.

- Sorry?

- Is that a wire?

- Huh?

- In your shirt there. No, there.

- No, no. No, no. No, no.

- No?

[Sam] No, no, no. No, no, no.

It's an iPhone headset.

- But I see it in your shirt.

- [Sam] It's a music...

[Cueto] No!

[chewing]

That...

is definitely a wire.

[Rosa grunting]

[Anton screams]

[Anton] Come on!

It's okay.

It is?

[Cueto] Yeah, it's okay.

[sighs]

I knew...

that this was gonna happen eventually.

That I would get caught.

Man, I hate this place.

I so miss San Diego

and the perfect weather.

Instead, I'm stuck with this.

And I can't get out.

I hate all of this.

I hate the people, I hate the food. I...

hate that lion, the way it looks at me.

And I hate soccer.

Go Padres.

I hate my life.

And most of all...

I hate myself.

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

This is not the end of the world.

[Sam stammers]

Lift your head up, and you look at me.

Now, I'm telling you, I got caught

doing something wrong, too.

But I'm gonna tell you,

I am a better person now.

Okay, you can still make a difference.

[belches]

It's too late for that.

That's a big misconception.

I'm... Oh, my God, that's a gun.

No, please. No, no, stop, please. No!

- [Rosa grunts]

- [gunshot]

[thudding]

Oh, this is bad.

This is very bad.

- Help!

- You shot him?

- No!

- Is he dead?

- I think he's still breathing.

- You!

What do I do?

I don't know. CPR?

I don't know CPR!

How do you not know?

You know everything.

Yeah, about taking lives, not saving them.

Give me the gun.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Say good night, b*tch!

Good night, b*tch.

Arrest that man for the assassination

of President Cueto.

I didn't do anything. I did not do it.

He did it.

That son of a b*tch actually did it.

Pay up.

[in Spanish] It is done.

["In The Air Tonight" playing

in Spanish]

[in Spanish] The president...

is dead.

[speaking Spanish]

Que viva la revolucin!

[men chanting in Spanish ] El Toro!

El Toro! El Toro! El Toro!

[all shouting]

[men speaking in Spanish]

[in English] Ghost, you did it.

- El Toro, what are you doing here?

- There is nothing to worry about.

I have made a deal with General Ruiz.

And Juan here,

he has something to tell you.

Oh. No, no, hey.

- We don't need to do this.

- Tell him.

Tell him.

I doubted you the whole time, but...

I was wrong.

You are... him.

Him who?

- The Ghost.

- [El Toro] Yes, the Ghost.

And as to you, Agent Bolivar,

I hope he was right when he said

that you are a patriot.

Will you help me

make a real difference here?

- I will.

- [El Toro] Fantastic.

Juan is gonna take you up to the compound

and bring you up to speed.

Your input will be very valuable to me.

- Thank you.

- [speaking Spanish] De nada.

[in English] Juan, please, take her.

And you, my friend.

You will ride with me.

For we have much to talk about.

Wow. So, this is a revolution, huh?

Man, I'm really starting

to like Venezuela.

- Maybe I'll even get a timeshare.

- [gun c*cks]

Or not.

Either way.

I'm really sorry to do this, Fantasma.

What...?

What about

the whole us-riding-together thing?

You know too much.

Now you must die. But...

you will live in our hearts

and minds forever.

But I'll be dead.

But you will live forever.

You will be a legend.

We will write songs about you.

But I won't be here.

Murals will be painted in your honor.

Children will be singing

and dancing in the street,

praising your name.

- I understand that...

- You will be an icon of the revolution,

- worshiped for generations to come.

- Yes, but I will be dead.

Yes, you will be dead.

[Cleveland] Put the weapon down, El Toro.

CIA.

CIA.

We're part of the deal

with your buddy, Ruiz.

And I'm gonna need this one alive.

- I need him dead.

- [Cleveland] Actually, you don't.

State Department just called.

Sam Larson's getting a free pass home.

We're as shocked as you are.

But he knows too much.

He will tell everyone.

- No one's gonna believe him. He's a fraud.

- [El Toro] Wait.

A fraud? What do you mean?

His book. It was bullshit.

He's not the Ghost.

He's just some... loser.

I tried to tell you.

You lied to me?

No, you...

You just assumed, you know.

[sighs]

I was gonna write songs about you.

All right. Let's go.

- [agent] That's enough.

- Beautiful songs!

Okay, if he starts singing, shoot him.

Got it.

[Sam] Something about this

doesn't feel right.

You're telling me.

Who do you know

in the State Department?

I'm talking about Rosa.

I mean, if El Toro was gonna kill me,

how do I know she's gonna be all right?

She probably won't be.

[phone beeps]

You guys are gonna help her out, right?

She's DEA. Different team.

- But she's making a difference.

- She's making a mess.

[agent] Why do you think we made

the last DEA agent assigned here

eat a C-4 sandwich?

My parents died when I was a little boy.

In many ways,

El Toro has been like a father to me.

Just as you will be to all of our people.

This country needs a change.

[El Toro] Yes, it does.

Thanks for waiting.

If you actually want my help...

it was worth the wait.

I can assure you that my plans

won't work without you.

Let's go. Don't look at him. Come on.

I read the book. Real page-turner.

Your flight leaves in 20 minutes.

Get on it, and never come back.

No.

I'm not leaving until I know Rosa's okay.

You might not have her back, but I do.

- Why?

- Because she had mine.

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