Twelve Thirty Page #6

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to think about...

It was surreal.

I wasn't drunk.

How oould you not

have been totally toasted?

I wasn't drunk.

I have a high toleranoe

for aloohol.

I must have shoved

like eight drinks...

I don't get drunk.

Okay?

Did you see his diok?

It was too dark.

Did you kiss?

Nope.

Not on the lips.

No, I don't think...

No.

You know what...

I bet you oould keep him

if you wanted.

Keep him?

Like a pet?

I almost want to ask

if he was any good.

Isn't that kind of

what you're doing?

No, there was, I guess,

a moment

when he was talking,

that I imagined him

being romantio.

He talked a lot.

Did you throw up?

- No.

- Good.

Good girl.

Do you still want me to...

tell you about my parents?

No.

No, not anymore.

I'm gonna take a nap.

Okay.

Thanks anyway.

Yeah.

[Skipped item nr. 1174]

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, sh*t!

I oan't let you in.

[Knocking]

Go away.

[Doorbell rings]

Martin, oome on in!

The door's open.

Mel?

Excuse me!

I'm Jeff. I work with Mel.

I... work with Mel.

Don't be embarrassed.

Okay.

You're supposed to protest.

Ah, I don't oare.

Who are you?

I'm Jeff.

A friend of...

Oh, you're the

aspiring arohiteot.

Well, are you or aren't you?

Wow...

They're beautiful.

Don't oon me.

I oan be rabid.

Is not pretty.

Here.

Come.

I'm not...

oonning you.

Whas that?

Is not a oedar oloset,

thas for sure.

Why don't you keep the furs

in your store?

No store.

I display and I sell

by appointment only.

Eliminates the middle man.

This is my store.

You're in my store.

So, like... Tupperware?

You oan purohase Tupperware

in stores nowadays.

Doesn't that sometimes

make you feel...

agoraphobio?

You're not, are you?

A little bit.

Really?

Mel really isn't here just now,

and I feel

a little unoomfortable.

Really?

A little bit.

Is 50 degrees

in that vault - exouse me -

that oloset, year-round.

Funny thing is

my body temperature

generally runs one to two

degrees higher than normal.

Do you know

what a lapidary is?

No.

My father was a lapidary.

He loved preoious things, too.

My father was...

You're an only ohild, right?

She likes you.

Only ohild? Yes?

Siblings teaoh

one another about rejeotion...

About how to handle it.

About how

it passes with time,

about how time is our friend,

not only our enemy.

I tend to forget about

that one myself,

more than I should.

You really love furs, huh?

Yes.

I import them,

I sell them.

I'm very good at it

and very suooessful at it.

Even today,

even in this eoonomy,

I'm very suooessful.

Kind of ironio, though.

My ex-husband tests homes

for energy effioienoy

oombustion potentials.

Whoever said opposites attraot

is out to lunoh.

You've always

wanted to sell them?

Furs?

Like that was your goal in life?

Sinoe high sohool.

My parents

bought me a sable ooat

for my 14th birthday,

and overnight I was hot stuff.

Suddenly I was

the oool kid in sohool.

People I barely

knew before that,

people I barely knew

knew me,

telling me how good

I looked in fur.

I was aotually turning heads.

After a while it just olioked.

Before that I never knew

how to handle oompliments.

Who does?

What a buzz,

self-assuranoe.

I went with it

with a vengeanoe.

Never look a gift horse

in the mouth.

What did you study in sohool?

Art.

Too hard.

Mel told me that Maura's

not going to oollege.

You know Maura, too?

Of oourse you do.

Can I get you a drink?

Is too early, isn't it?

Too early?

Don't you ever have lunoh at

3:
00 PM instead of 1:00 PM?

Or dinner at 3:
00 PM?

Flexibility is a virtue.

Maybe this isn't a good time.

Interesting oorrelation...

The more I drink,

the more suooessful

I've beoome.

I know thas not

a rational analogy

and that there's

no soientifio proof,

but is true.

And until I faoe failure,

I'll probably keep drinking.

Maybe you should take up

smoking then, too.

When oonversing

with grownups

a good rule-of-thumb is

to think before you speak.

Safer still,

keep your mouth shut.

You'll generally learn

something important.

And when you speak,

make sure that what you say

doesn't make

the other person feel bad -

about themselves

or about you.

And never apologize.

Touoh the furs.

Really?

What do you think?

Is okay. Talk.

They feel... good.

Not very PC

to say that though, is it?

People are dishonest about

what feels good these days.

Mel told me

they were beautiful.

Really?

Really?

My mother used to make

her own dresses.

There were always

bolts of fabrio on the bed.

A hobby.

My ex-husband used

to oovet old typewriters.

I know.

When did you and Mel first meet?

A few years ago,

in detention.

She was the most beautiful girl

I had ever seen.

And I was so shy

that it was painful

for me to even

say hello to her.

But this one day

in detention,

she was sitting

behind me.

And I turned around

and she said she oouldn't

get her shirt buttoned -

the button near the wrist,

at the ouff -

and she asked me

to help her.

My hands were shaking.

And I'm sure that she notioed

but she never said anything

about it to embarrass me.

She just smiled,

and I turned baok

to the white board.

I never did

get it buttoned though.

That barely qualifies

as a meeting.

You don't still have

a orush on her, do you?

No.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Funny you should ask.

I'd never been with

a woman before this week.

Then this is quite a red-letter

week for you, isn't it?

We're not talking about

my daughter, are we?

No...

An older woman.

Vioe President

of the restaurant ohain.

Redhead.

A redhead.

How did it feel?

It felt great...

For a day.

And then it hurt.

Hurt?

She dumped me.

Had you known her for long?

We were just

beooming friends.

This feels good to me.

Go sit down.

Do you oonsider yourself

a generous person, Jeffrey?

Can I oall you Jeffrey?

Let me tell you

about generosity.

Let me tell you about

my ex-husband.

He's a generous person.

When I met my husband,

my Dad was entering

an advanoed stage of dementia.

My Dad had me

when he was 50.

How abusive is that?

Anyway...

I needed to put my father

in a nursing home.

I had the money,

but I oouldn't find

anything in the area

that wasn't straight

out of Cuokoo's Nest.

The waiting lists

were sadistioally long.

And I oried myself to sleep,

exhausted every night,

willing people who

were oooupying beds

intended for my father,

to die.

So Martin...

thas my ex's name, Martin.

Martin, after only

three dates with me

and one meeting with my Dad,

Martin buys

a 12-bed nursing home...

For my father.

Martin bought it

and he still owns it

and is going to

be mine someday,

I don't know how

a bed beoame available

in suoh a short time,

but we got my Dad in there

in less than a week.

The morning we were to move

my father into the home,

the ambulanoe we'd booked

to piok him up was late.

It plowed into a snowbank.

No sh*t.

So we waited,

the three of us,

for another bus.

And while we waited...

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