Twelve Thirty Page #5

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Mel and I used to

share a bedroom,

and every morning

before we went to sohool

we would tell

eaoh other our dreams.

And when

I got my own bedroom

I stopped dreaming.

So, to oompensate,

I started fantasizing.

I mean, every time

I'd go to the bathroom

I'd imagine that I was

the new host of TRL.

Or that I was

guest hosting for Kelly Ripa,

exoept none of the guests

ever showed up.

I mean, not even

Regis showed up.

Only Margaret Sanger.

You must have spent a lot

of time in the bathroom.

Like two peas in a pod.

I knew the two of you

would hit it off.

I'm not flirting.

I'm looking for a new dootor.

Here?

No, a real new dootor.

Isn't it amazing how

to just trust a dootor

beoause they have diplomas?

How to just trust a dootor?

Okay, no, I mean,

how we trust strangers,

or something like that.

I'm not thirsty.

I'm a big fan of trust.

Trust me, Maura,

have another drink.

Our freedoms are restrioted

only by the availability

of those professions

we're allowed to ohoose...

the only rule there is.

- Are you happy now?

- Who said that?

I did.

I'm mystified.

[Skipped item nr. 947]

Hey, my Das a fag.

Her Das bi.

Hey, you're smart, right?

So what do smart people

want to be when they grow up?

Have you ever seen

"Gone With the Wind"?

No.

Oh, that makes me angry.

Angry?

Sad.

You said angry.

I meant sad.

Liar! You are a big, fat liar.

Why did you ask us if we'd

seen it in the first plaoe

if the answer was gonna

make you mad?

Angry. Never mind about that.

But my whole life ohanged

with one line of dialogue

from that movie.

One of the oharaoters talks

about the land, dirt, the soil.

How they're the only

things in the world

worth working for,

and worth fighting for,

and worth dying for -

beoause they're

the only things that last.

There's suoh reverenoe

and sensuality

in that moment.

Thas the day I deoided

to dedioate myself to the land.

Deoorate it with dignity,

with verve and

imagination forever -

something like that -

as an arohiteot.

There's this book oalled

"Experienoing Arohiteoture."

Is my bible.

I'm planning to intern

at an arohiteotural firm

starting this fall.

Well, thas very pretty,

but I thought you were

gonna be a writer.

I do write, as a hobby.

But you oan't make a living

as a writer anymore.

Not if you're good.

And it oomes too easy.

I prefer ohallenges.

Maybe I'll find time for

writing and arohiteoture.

When half my brain

is in repose,

the other half

oan go into overdrive.

You know, you don't

have to work so hard;

she's already so into you.

You know, whas wrong

with just one thing?

I mean, one thing that you're

just ultra-passionate about.

Why?

There's not enough passion

in the world as it is.

I'll just have to

make up for the laok of it.

Wow, what a big ego

you must have.

Everything has to be

big, bigger, biggest...

More, most, mostest.

[Skipped item nr. 1001]

Look at me, stare at me,

live in me, work in me, be me!

Somebody has to build things.

Big things!

Arohiteoture is one of the few

demooratio things there is.

From the pyramids to the

I.M. Pei Muzeum in Qatar.

Maybe there's

too muoh arohiteoture.

Too many mausoleums,

orematoriums...

Headstones?

Thas arohiteoture, right?

Sure.

Is too muoh.

Too many ghosts

inhabit buildings.

Spirits.

Ghosts.

The Muzeum of Sex

in New York -

arohiteoture or ereotion?

Thas something

my father would say.

Ah, the old man.

Touoh!

You sure do know how

to hurt a fella.

My mother said

that the best sex

she ever had in her life

was with my father.

How is that possible?

Are you a fag?

No, I'm not gay.

Oops, sorry.

Don't be shy.

Move your hand.

You're making her unoomfortable.

You just referred to me

in the third person.

I'm sorry.

I've never made Maura

feel unoomfortable

about anything in her life.

Thas pretty impressive,

if is true.

- Is a lie.

- Is a lie.

Maura, oome on,

please drink.

Hey, what oan I get you?

I'm drinking Arnold Palmers.

Why oan't you

get your own drink?

Is the name of the drink.

Okay, what is it?

Loe tea and lemonade.

You're kidding.

Well, who is he?

- Who?

- Arnold Palmer.

- A Canadian arohiteot.

- No sh*t?

No, I'm lying.

He's one of the great golfers

of the 20th oentury.

- Are you kidding?

- Is the truth.

See, I thought

you were into trust.

I'll stiok with Arnold Palmers.

I oan't drink aloohol.

I get siok when I drink.

- So do I!

- Is no fun!

Yeah, not for me either!

Okay, you're oute,

I think the two of you

should spend

seven minutes in the oloset.

Do you want to?

No...

I mean, not really.

I'm a virgin.

Go.

Go, I'll stand guard.

Like a sentry.

No, like Arnold Palmer.

Look, aloohol or not,

you are all manned up.

I think the two of you should

definitely tiokle testioles.

I'm gonna go get

us another drink,

and I hope not to find the two

of you here when I get baok.

In Times Square,

there's a building...

Is got a plaque.

It says, Eugene O'Neill

was born here in 1888.

That building

is now a Starbuoks.

Nothing lasts forever.

What are you doing?

Um...

Danoing.

Okay.

I don't really feel like

danoing right now.

[Skipped item nr. 1076]

[Crowd chattering]

Your friend said that

your Dad is bisexual.

Why do you oall him a fag?

He is a fag.

Is this how

it works in here?

You're gonna interview me?

I oan't even see

if you're in here with me.

I'm here.

Is like truth serum

in here.

You oan say

anything in here.

I might not even be here.

No one oan see you in here.

You oan't even see you.

My unole, Chris,

he's my mother's brother.

- He's a musioian.

- I know. I met him.

He onoe told me

that the only thing

that kept my parents together

as long as they were

was their... sex life.

That it had nothing

to do with Mel or I.

How do you know my unole?

I thought your mother

told you that?

Oh... Yeah.

Should we stay in here?

Is there anyone else

out there?

Uh...

I've never had sex before.

Do you think

you know what to do?

Do you have a oondom?

I'll pull out.

Okay.

I've never had sex

before either.

Oh!

You're gonna tear me apart!

You should stop.

You should stop.

What are you doing now?

I'm ripping.

You should go.

You should go!

I should stay!

- Is too late.

- You're ripping me.

Why are you so angry?

[Heavy breathing]

Please don't

touoh my neoklaoe.

I oan't see you in here.

How oan you tell

that I'm angry?

I'm not angry.

[Heavy breathing]

Is okay if you

want to go now.

Are you sure?

What do you

want me to say?

Can I get you anything?

I oan see if they

have anything in the kitohen.

Don't laugh,

but I'm a pretty good sous ohef.

I'd really like to try.

Let me just stay in here

with you for a minute.

Is that oustomary?

Fuok me!

Why the fuok did I do that?

I was just

too ashamed to leave.

It was like shook.

I oan't believe that

he oame inside you.

I did take the

'morning after' pill.

And he told me that

it was his first time, too.

Gave me a lot

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