Two-Bit Waltz Page #5
the belly of the elephant
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And needs to be cut out.
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So in the morning, when
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mouth of the elephant
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And realizes that yes, in fact,
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And she decides that when
she gets to the village,
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She's going to seek
out her brother.
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And they are going
to figure out a way
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To cut her mother
loose and escape.
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And?
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And what?
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And then what?
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What do you mean?
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Is she reunited
with her brother?
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Oh.
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Yes, but they realize
they're just being silly.
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You're a very strange
child, aren't you?
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Do you think it would
make a good novel?
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Because...
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I think that you shouldn't
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I think that you
should get some sleep.
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I'm taking you to see
Granny's lawyer tomorrow.
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Why?
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The will, darling.
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Oh.
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Yes, the will, and an
interesting little thing
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That I like to call wealth.
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I wonder what you'll do with it.
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What about you?
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Oh, she's not leaving
me anything, silly.
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She hated me.
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She absolutely
detested your father.
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No, no.
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The only people in our
family getting anything
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Are you and your brother.
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Darling, don't frown, cherub.
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I hate to see you worry.
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It's a very bad habit, you know?
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You should get out of it as soon
as possible, because, you know,
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You do have the potential to
become a very unhappy person.
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Night-night, love.
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Could she face her future?
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The girl did not know.
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What lays in life
that is not in death.
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The future, being fickle in its
nature, is very unpredictable
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And, therefore, bodes ill
to those who find wanting,
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Which posed the question,
could she face her future?
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The girl did not know.
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What lays in life
that is not in death?
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The promise of a new day?
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Pick a card.
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You will live a long
and prosperous life.
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It says you're fat.
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Thank you very much for coming.
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It's our pleasure.
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Your grandmother
was a fine woman.
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Was she?
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Now, Maude, don't be rhetorical.
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Was it rhetorical?
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Please, dear.
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You were saying?
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Yes, uh, well, it was
your grandmother's wish,
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In the event of her death,
that you inherit $5 million,
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When you come of age, to be
put into your college fund.
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Oh, and she also left you
this charming figurine.
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It was your grandmother's wish,
in the event of her death,
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That when you came of age,
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And you get a figure, Maude.
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Isn't it exciting?
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But I turn 18 next week.
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And that's $5
million for her college fund.
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$5 million.
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For her college fund.
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Oh, dear.
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Is that a requirement?
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Well, uh, mm, yes.
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But I don't want
to go to college.
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Now, now, Maude.
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Maude was saying quite
truthfully that she
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Was thinking of not attending
collegiate, um, things.
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But I'm sure she can be
persuaded out of it, though she
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Has had some recent,
uh, mishaps at school.
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I'm suspended and I'm
failing every class.
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Maude.
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Huh.
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Oh, well.
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Is that all?
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Well, I wouldn't
worry about that.
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You see, your grandmother
has donated many a college
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Building.
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So you just decide which
school you want to go to,
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And I'm sure that we can
figure something out.
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I'm sorry.
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Uh, what if I just...
I don't go to college.
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Well, then the money
will go to charity.
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What charity?
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Dogs.
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Jesus.
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Yes.
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But...
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But that won't matter,
because Maude will simply just
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Have to go to college.
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And if she picks a school
with a reasonable tuition,
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Then she can keep whatever
inheritance she doesn't spend.
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But...
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Wonderful.
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Well, how should we proceed?
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OK.
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Well, I'm going to
have my secretary send
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You some brochures of schools
that we're on the best terms
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With.
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Then I'm going to have you
back in here next week,
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And you're going to
tell me your decision.
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And then the money
will go straight
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Into your college account.
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Wonderful.
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Wonderful.
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Wonderful.
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What?
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Well, I think that
went very well.
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Now, Maude, I know you said
you'd rather eat your uterus
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Than get a degree,
but I think you're
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Going to have a fabulous time.
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It's college.
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Isn't it exciting?
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I wonder what they do there.
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Oh, well.
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When you go, you can
tell me all about it
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And bring me back
one of those hats.
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How's my hair?
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Oh, damn.
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We forgot your figurine.
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Do you know "Camptown Races"?
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What?
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You were unsure?
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I was unsure.
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Are you still unsure?
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Well, yes.
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And that caused you to...
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No.
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I went to sleep.
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The next morning, I woke up.
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As one down.
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And then...
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Please, try and remember.
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Why are you talking
to me like that?
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I remember everything
that went on.
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I am not a raped war veteran.
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you talk to me so harshly.
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I have a feeling you're
secretly mocking me
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When you say that.
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Perhaps you're right.
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That makes me want to
tell you everything.
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What?
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Wake up.
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You're in my spot.
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Also, Jenny's here.
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And to what do I owe this
extremely pleasurable delight
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Of all delights?
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Jesus, calm down.
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I just can't believe it's real!
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Please don't do that anymore.
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I haven't done
it until just now.
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Please don't do that
anymore right now.
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I can't.
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Please don't start.
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My Bonnie lies over the ocean.
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My Bonnie lies over the sea.
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My Bonnie lies over the ocean.
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Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.
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Bring back, oh, bring back,
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Oh, bring back my
Bonnie to me, to me.
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Bring back, oh, bring back,
oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.
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OK.
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What's up?
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I'm moving.
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I need to be closer
to West Point.
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Listen, it'll be fine.
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OK, she seems to...
I'm trying to say
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Ugh!
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And it...
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F***.
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So I bet she'll keep in touch.
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Here.
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Christ, so gross.
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Here we go.
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OK.
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Hey, she seems like she's going
to want to keep in touch, OK?
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You think so?
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Two-Bit Waltz" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 19 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/two-bit_waltz_22429>.
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