Uncut Gems Page #16

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RACHEL:

(laughing)

I can’t breath!

HOWARD:

What is that?

MARCEL:

It’s mom’s original bat mitzvah dress.

It still fits her!

HOWARD:

Oh my god. That’s hysterical.

NATALIE tries to zip the back up but only gets half-way.

DINAH:

Stop, you’ll break it.

RACHEL:

We need to show daddy.

Everyone rifles out of the room, leaving HOWARD and DINAH bythemselves.

HOWARD:

It’s after 9, I think we should start

heading out.

DINAH:

Fine. Tell the boys.

HOWARD:

I did.

A pause. HOWARD smiles at her sheepishly.

102.

DINAH:

What? Don’t look at me. Just go...

What!??!

HOWARD:

You look gorgeous.

DINAH:

Oh gawd.

HOWARD:

I think maybe we should sit down andtalk.

DINAH stares at him.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

I’m not saying right now. We don’thave to do it here... But... The truth

is, I’m having some very serioussecond thoughts, and I just, you know,

everyone’s here and we’re alltogether, we’re all so comfortable...

Is it too late? What do you think?

DINAH:

Are you serious?

HOWARD:

I know, I know. I f***ed up and I haveno right to-

DINAH:

Yeah. You f***ed up. You are a f***

up. And I’m not having thisconversation.

HOWARD:

Please. Just stop. Stop for a secondand just look at me. Look at my eyesand they’ll tell you what I’mfeeling... Please?

DINAH stares hard at HOWARD’s totally denuded, dopeyexpression. It’s too much. She can’t. She bursts out laughing.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

What? What are you thinking?

DINAH keeps laughing. HOWARD thinks he’s got his in.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

(smiling)

What? Come on.

103.

DINAH:

Your face... Your face is so...

Stupid.

HOWARD:

Okay.

DINAH bursts out laughing again.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

I’m gonna leave her. We’re done. Itwas stupid.

DINAH’s smile evaporates from her face.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

She’s trash. I know that. It was

stupid. I’m done. Means nothing. Meantnothing. Please, I’m begging you,

gimme another shot.

DINAH:

You know what, Howard? You are the

most annoying person I have ever met.

I hate being with you, I hate lookingat you, and if I had my way I wouldnever see you again.

HOWARD:

Ok. You’re mad at me. I see that. I

deserve it. You can punch me if you

want to.

DINAH suddenly jump-scares HOWARD with a fake punch. Heflinches. She bursts out laughing again.

DINAH:

I don’t even want to touch you.

IDA runs up the doorway, flanked by RACHEL, MAECEL and a bevyof yentas all champing at the bit to see DINAH in her batmitzvah dress.

IDA:

OH MY GAWD! I HATE YOU! HOW DOES THAT

STILL FIT YOU!??!

DINAH:

What? I was fifteen pounds overweight!

The women surround her. HOWARD slithers off to go get the car.

104.

INT. HOWARD AND DINAH’S FAMILY CAR - NIGHT

HOWARD sits behind the wheel of the family Mercedes. EDDIEplays “Make it Rain” on his phone, where the object is to flipthrough enough money as you can. BENI/MARCEL crowd over EDDIE.

DINAH surveys Instagram in the front seat. HOWARD looks at theclock on the dashboard: 9:52pm

DINAH:

Why you taking Lex?

HOWARD:

I was gonna take the tunnel, it’sbetter, less traffic... Plus I want to

grab something from the apartment andit’s right there.

DINAH looks up from her phone and locks eyes with HOWARD.

DINAH gives him jaundiced look.

DINAH:

We’re gonna stop by the apartment

guys.

The kids protest.

DINAH (CONT’D)

Daddy’s got things to do.

HOWARD stares at the road intensely.

EXT. HOWARD’S BUILDING - AFTER

HOWARD pulls the Mercedes up to his building. A DOORMANapproaches the car.

DOORMAN:

Anything in the trunk, Mr. Ratner?

HOWARD:

No, I’m coming right back down.

EDDIE:

Dad! I gotta use the bathroom.

HOWARD:

Just hold it in. We’ll be home in 25

minutes.

DINAH:

Don’t be ridiculous. Eddie, goupstairs and use the bathroom.

105.

BENI:

I want to go up, too.

HOWARD:

See? I just want to get what I needand get home. I’m tired.

DINAH:

Eddie, go.

EDDIE gets out of the car.

HOWARD:

(erupting)

What, you couldn’t go at Grandpa’s!?!

EDDIE:

What do you want me to say?

HOWARD and EDDIE walks towards the lobby.

HOWARD:

God dammit.

INT. HOWARD’S BUILDING - CONTINUOUS

HOWARD and EDDIE exit the elevator and walk down the hallway.

From the end of the hall, HOWARD can hear music playingloudly.

HOWARD:

My bathroom’s all f***ed up cause ofconstruction so... I’m gonna have youuse a neighbor’s.

EDDIE:

Daaad! I don’t wanna use a neighbor’s

bathroom. I gotta take a sh*t.

HOWARD:

That’s fine, you’ll actually lovethis. You ever see the show Good

Times?

EDDIE:

What’s that?

HOWARD:

The tv show. Good Times. This guyplayed the dad. He was also in Comingto America. I showed it to you.

106.

EDDIE:

Come on. He’s probably an old man,

we’re gonna wake him.

HOWARD stops and knocks on a door.

JOHN AMOS (O.S.)

Who is it?

HOWARD:

It’s Howard from next door. I live in

E.

After a few beats, JOHN AMOS opens it.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Hey, how you doing?

JOHN AMOS:

(angry)

What’s up?

HOWARD:

Unfortunately, my toilet’s all messedup and this kid’s gotta go. Can we useyours for a minute?

JOHN AMOS:

Nah, sorry.

JOHN AMOS closes the door.

EDDIE:

What a f***ing d*ckhead!

HOWARD:

Hey! Stop that. The guy’s a legend.

HOWARD turns around and knocks on the door across the hall. A

young HEDGE FUND TYPE answers the door, dressed to go out. Anout of sight friend yells in the background.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Hey, I’m just down the hall. I don’tthink we’ve met.

HEDGE FUND TYPE:

Allen, how are you?

HOWARD:

My bathroom’s all f***ed up. Can myson use yours?

107.

HEDGE FUND TYPE:

I’m just leaving... Number 1 or number2?

EDDIE:

Number one.

HOWARD:

Eddie, go quick, I’ll meet you back inthe hall.

EDDIE enters. HOWARD hurries to his front door.

INT. HOWARD’S APARTMENT. LIVING ROOM/KITCHENETTE - CONTINUOUS

HOWARD opens his front door. The stereo continues to playloudly. The place looks very organized, clean and neat.

HOWARD:

HELLO!?!.... JULIA?....

HOWARD approaches the stereo and turns the power off. He looksaround. On the coffee table lies a handwritten letter with a

set of keys on top of it. HOWARD reads the letter out loud.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

“Have a nice life. I hope you findeverything you’re looking for.”

A pause. HOWARD walks into the bedroom.

INT. HOWARD’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

The bedroom looks neat for a change; the bed has been made,

none of JULIA’s clothes are on the floor, etc. HOWARD makes a

beeline for the closet and opens it. All of JULIA’s things aregone. A wave of fear washes over his face.

A buzz at the front door. HOWARD quickly retreats from the

room.

INT. HOWARD’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM/KITCHENETTE - CONTINUOUS

HOWARD makes his way to the front door and opens it. It’sEDDIE.

HOWARD:

Come on, let’s go.

HOWARD exits, closing the door behind him. EDDIE cranes hisneck to get a look inside.

108.

INT. HOWARD’S APARTMENT - BUILDING HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

HOWARD and EDDIE walk in silence. They stop by the elevatorsand wait.

EDDIE:

Who’s the girl living in yourapartment?

HOWARD:

What did you say?

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