Unicorn City Page #3

into this plot line,

Which I think is necessary.

I don't get what a surface-Dwelling

hobgoblin has to do with the svirfneblin.

I'm glad you said something.

I think Clancy's just

trying to say that

You can't up and willy-Nilly

a campaign together.

I know. I mean, right. I...

I guess I was just thinking

That the entire guild

would abandon Shadow Hawk if...

If they knew that you were

creating your own new guild.

I mean, they've always trusted

your leadership in the game,

so why wouldn't they

trust you in real life?

But that's stupid.

It's for monkey brains, and...

unless...

What?

Do you need the Heimlich?

Magmald.

Yeah. Uh-Huh, yeah.

Yeah? Okay!

Explain.

I figured out how I'm gonna

get the job at warlock.

I'm gonna create a land

of magic and wonder.

I'm gonna show 'em how I can

handle a group of six or...

Sixteen people in

an out-Of-The-Box kind of way.

Awesome!

And I need you to

document everything.

I need you to take notes

and... And film...

O-Okay. I'll get the guild

on the phone,

- I'll tell 'em exactly what we're doing.

- I love that. No, I hate that.

Because they can't know

I'm doing it for a job,

- They won't be themselves.

- Oh, right.

So I have to tell them... what, then?

I'm creating a utopia for gamers.

Oh, I love that.

Excellent. Call the guild.

Yeah.

- What up, doc?

- Hold for Voss.

Oh, hey, Marsh. What's up?

Patty melt! What's up, buddy?

Angie and I are just

biting into frozen yogurt.

Uh, yeah, I need you to meet me

at the corner of state and fourth

With your tent, your gear,

and Angie.

Why? What for, man?

Just do it! Doesn't matter why.

Why didn't you guys wait for me?

Waffle and wok, this is Rhubarb.

Rhubarb,

I got somethin' big, something epic going

on, ginormous. I'm gonna need you.

What's goin' down?

Hello? Dude, I can't play

on the phone.

I gotta clean...

I don't want to!

And I got customers.

Who is that?

Who's with you?

You're breakin' up.

No, uh, I distinctly heard

somebody in the background.

Come again?

It's Shadow Hawk, isn't it?

You got a crappy phone.

You're hanging with sh...

Hello?

I'm losing you, man.

Well, he's not invited,

so ditch him.

No, really.

Who is that?

I totally forgot I volunteered

to help this old lady

Who lost some toes in a battle...

With diabetes?

It's sad.

I gotta go. Text me.

Ohh!

I'm gonna change

and get my stuff, okay?

Check it.

It sought me out.

It's my holy avenger.

Open the back.

Do it.

Dude, where's Clancy going?

And where's your outfit, man?

Don't worry about it, Pat man,

all right? Taking care of business.

My mom wants me back by seven.

Hey, where we're going,

you don't need a mom.

Sweet.

You gettin' this?

Wait. Wait.

That's it, nice, slow pan,

Okay, into the zoom,

just a single...

So get on this harp

And get on the sun

Get on this train and watch it roll

Downhill, downhill, downhill

You're losing your life,

you're losing control

You're losing your brain

with the rock and roll...

You have just entered a new realm.

You are now quite literally

your characters.

You will act like your characters,

You will be your characters,

And through them,

we shall create a utopia.

You are now in unk-Tar town,

A small fishing village on the

shores of the deserted sea.

Carrion birds circle above...

And then we look down.

We are standing among

what appears to be

Two dozen human remains.

Their intestines scattered,

holes in their skulls,

And black scarring on their faces.

Infamous skull ciphers.

Yahhh!!!

Ohh!

Yahhh!

Yahhh!

Now.

Ohh! Whoa!

Whoa.

Arm yourselves!

Form up!

You primordial maggot pukes!

It was foolish of you to think

that you could claim my spoils.

Now I shall devour you!

Charge!!!

I'm hit! Kill me! Kill me!

Bring everything with you.

Oh!

Come on, get in there!

Kill! Kill!

- Come on, everybody! Focus!

- Whoo!

Insolent wimps, all of you!

Go for the lips!

Nerf gun!

Don't! Ohh! Crap!

Split up!

That's it!

Together now!

Dang it.

Hyahh!

Go for the lips!

Aaah!

The assassin!

No! No!!!

I'll take 40 acid damage, Marsha.

Everybody fall back!

Launch the magic missile!

Magic missile...

Not yet!

Now!

Magic missile!

We are no longer

heroes of the imagination.

We are taking this adventure

to the next level.

Tell everyone you know.

And welcome...

to unicorn city.

This is it.

This is everybody we know?

Where's Gary and trevor?

Um, well, Gary had jury duty,

And trevor's mom said

that our camp is satanic.

So...

whatever.

Hold, please.

Next.

Name and former life?

Hi. My name is kathy.

I work in whole foods.

My character's name is Tearsumina,

And my powers are somewhere

in the field of... seduction.

You're a succubus, huh?

Should we be inviting

evil into the camp?

Welcome.

Hold.

Once you go centaur...

Yeah, we know.

Aah.

What took you so long?

Nice map, ace.

Listen, I had trouble with the chassis.

I had to go to the store.

Someone followed me.

Shadow Hawk.

A-N-T, baby,

a-N-T.

"Ant"?

"Ain't no thing."

Circled back, lost him in,

like, women's apparel

Or canned foods.

You gotta trust the ruby, baby.

We're all good. So what's

the haps out here?

We gonna party or what?

Congregate, get together,

Gather up.

Everyone's together,

But I've already received

eight complaints about...

Quargooz's codpiece, and...

Okay, I could see it.

I'm gonna go ahead and take

care of that in private.

Thank you.

Okay. Um...

Before we send out the npcs...

I have some business

to take care of.

Rhubarb.

I'm listening.

I think we all learned some

things from the treasure hunt....

And now it's time to

take things to the next level.

Unicorn city is an intricate web of

equal opportunity disciplines and rules

Based on an extremely fair

role-Playing system.

You can find these rules on page

four of your citizenship manual.

You will also see that there is an area for

you to draw a picture of your character...

Which Marsha will evaluate at a later

time for possible experience points.

You can also show your support

for unicorn city

Through a tax-Deductible pledge.

And Voss, I would like to donate,

to unicorn city, a dollar.

Oh, my gosh, Marsha, now we

know how much it means to you.

Make sure that gets

all the way around.

Our first order of action is to see

how well you handle my leadership

Under a threat level of one.

This shouldn't be too difficult,

people, so let's stay focused.

Friend of the forest!

What's wrong?

It was terrible, terrible.

It moved so fast we never saw it.

Oh, my wife and children.

Oh, the carnage.

We shall avenge your pain.

Everyone find your buddy.

Move out calmly.

Stay in a nice orderly fashion.

Since I've submitted

to all of this,

Will you be my buddy?

Yeah, sure.

Who took the dollar?!

Hey, Voss,

will you deduct XP if I stay?

You will not lose

any experience points.

In face, I will award you 200

points regarding the encampment

And any trash you might pick up.

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