Unicorn City Page #6

increase circulation.

Hmm.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

With the correct amount of pressure,

- Okay.

- We can release all of the negative energy

And quicken the rate at which

the swelling will go down.

So if I press here...

I'm actually sending and receiving

messages from your kidneys.

Hello, Mr. Kidney.

26-Charlie, copy detail.

Suspicious persons trespassing on county

build site, possible 604. Use caution.

S0 when are you retiring, again?

Rashanna...

"Rashanna."

That's very pretty.

Where did you come up

with that character name?

Um, the egyptian sun god

and a friend from the 8th grade.

How about you? How'd you

come up with "Shadow Hawk"?

That's a temporary character name.

What do you mean?

Well, I...

I didn't want to tell you

my real character name.

Why not?

I was shy.

I'm confused.

My real character name is...

"Tanick Stormblade."

What?!

I was so excited to tell you,

but then you broke up with me!

I wanted you to judge me on my

true character, not on my age.

You said you were 26!

I wasn't being honest,

But... But I am being honest

when I tell you that...

I'm into you.

Oh, that's gross.

- What the...?

- It's like a geek breeding ground.

Do you know how hard

It was to be in the guild with you

Without the ability to

reach out and touch you,

To never speak the words

that just ached to be said?

No.

Aaaah...

But here we are together...

again.

Like the forces were pulling

us together... like magnets!

Well, then how can I show you

the depth of my love?

By letting me out.

Rather, how about

if I recite a sonata?

Let me out!

No! I'm just

trying to leave!

I... I...

I didn't... No, no, no...

I just want to...

Please! I'm just going...

Wait...

You dirty old man.

I oughta shank you right now

and save the taxpayers...

There's a reason

there's no trespassing!

This is a super fund site!

The entire ground is poisoned!

You're probably gonna have

two-Headed babies!

Be careful, everyone!

The ground is poisoned!

The ground is poisoned!

It's poisoned.

It's poisoned.

The ground is poisoned.

Whoop! Well, what are

you gonna do now?

Slap some plastic cuffs on me

and sing me "happy birthday"?

Hmm?

Come again?

How much did Voss pay to hire

this pathetic performance?

I want everyone

to take five steps back

And get face down

on the ground now!!!

Well, that was almost believable.

Get down on your knees

And put your hands

behind your back.

Do it!

Aaah!

Aaaaah!

Mooner!

Run! Run!

Mooners.

Ow!!!

What did you do to Marsha?

Of course you'd come back!

Hands off of him!

Mooner, get up!

Hands in the air now!

Hands where I can see 'em!

Okay! I'm just gonna...

Put your hands up!

Get your hands up!

I need my pills!

I'm sorry...

Hands in the air!

Aaahh....yahh!

Girl, I am now

gonna count! One...

Aaaahh...

aaaahhh!!!

Uhh!

Ohh!

Voss.

Voss!

That. Hurt. So. Bad.

I knew you'd come back for me.

- get 'em over here!

- Don't split up!

Don't make any sudden movements!

You're gonna spook 'em!

Hamwater, what are you doing?!

Listen, Magmald's in my pocket.

See if you can reach back

and cut us free.

Okay.

On three, okay?

One, two, three.

Got him?

Yeah.

Aahh! You got it!

Aah.

Okay.

Uhh. I'm... I'm good.

Hold this.

Take her to safety!

Stop for no one! Go!

Hamwater!

What is the matter with you?!

Thanks.

Stop moving!

Don't move!

Stay right where you are!

Friends of the guild!

Look to the bard!

From his song we gather

strength, and charge!

We gather strength,

and chaaaaarge!!!

Get in formation!

Shields!

Off... Officers in

need of assistance!

Chaaaaarge!!!!

Start the car!!!

Did we not repulse the

charging horde's onslaught?

Yeah!!!

I do not deserve to be your leader.

I deceived you.

I used you to get a job.

And for that, I'm sorry.

We can start over again.

It will be a new beginning.

Yeah!!!!

If you will take me

again as your leader,

I will make the city

thrive once again!

So that all may live in peace

against tyranny and aggression

from those...

Drop your weapons and

get on the ground now!

- Get down now!

- Stay down on the ground...

Move!

Get down, peter pan!

All rightie, then.

You can get down now!

I'd like all of you to

approach the bench.

What in the world were

you doing out there?

Nothing... sir.

Creating a utopia for gamers.

Is that right?

I bet you could have a lot

of fun in a place like that.

I'll bet you could get

a lot of families to show up,

Maybe some at-Risk youth

to help set things up.

I'm giving you all 800 hours

of community service...

To build your unicorn city

at the municipal park.

And it better be good.

I'll drop it to 700 hours

if I can be king.

Yes, your majesty.

Cradle it.

Cradle it like a baby.

Softly...

What are you doing?

That's a tortilla-Wrapped

gut-Ache. Seriously,

How much cabbage you think one

person can consume in one sitting?

I don't care. Okay? I don't have

to do this. I'm too good for this.

I'm so glad that you are happy

in taco town, but I'm out.

Is that what you think of me?

That you're better than me?

Well, you're not, bro!

Tacos are awesome!

This restaurant is my life!

Drop your weapons

and get on the ground now!

You got arrested

trying to get a job with us?

Yeah.

You got the job, man.

Are you serious?

I've never seen anyone go

to these lengths for a job.

So how soon before

you can move up to Seattle?

I have some community service

to finish, but...

Sure. Take as much time

as you need.

Do you mind if I show this

to some of the guys?

No.

I thought you were gonna organize

a canned food drive or something,

But this?

This is amazing.

Oh. Oh...

Hey.

You got the job.

No.

I'm really sorry. I...

It's okay. Uh...

I can live with it.

Here.

See ya up there.

As king of this fair land,

I wish to welcome you all

to the official opening of...

Unicorn city!

Finally!

Go!

Whoo!

Blow down your door

Where you say get yourself

a straight job

And no, never bored, no never

You lost your head

See, we're all

On our way out

Been through it all

Reelin' in everyone

Wild jazz they scrape

Scrape by...

That's fiber, by the way.

Mmm. Mmm.

Lords and ladies,

Di tom inpaderi vero.

Baby.

I know this.

I studied all night for,

like, a half hour, okay?

You make up a language

and you force me to use it.

It's very difficult, okay?

Al castiba...

El wunya ronley hoo-Hoo.

Will you temper

your words and actions

With love...

So, I have some ideas for

the campaign you suggested.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

What if... Magmald came down

from the astral plane

After months of

aimlessly wandering,

Rashanna finds him weakened

And carries him back

to her woodland home...

Where she... saves him

By nursing him back to health

With feral berries and moss...

And they live happily ever after,

And have a whole litter

of baby bardladins.

Ronley hoo-Hoo.

Kiss her now?

Nose.

All right, thank you,

everyone, for coming, so much.

We have sno-Cones,

so everyone enjoy!

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