Up in Smoke Page #2

Synopsis: Cheech and Chong meet up by chance on the highway somewhere in California. They go in search of some dope and are accidentally deported to Mexico where in their desperation to get home they agree to drive a van back to the States so they can get back in time for a gig they are due to play. Unaware of the properties from which the van is constructed they make their way back having aquired a couple of female hitch-hikers whilst all the time avoiding the cops whom they are not even aware are following them.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
57
R
Year:
1978
86 min
5,837 Views


- Om.

- Om.

- Om.

- Oh, sh*t.

Mellow.

Yeah.

- You better now, man?

- Yeah.

- You mellow?

- Yeah.

Feel all right, huh?

Yeah.

- What are you doing, man?

- Sometimes that helps, man.

Hey, listen, can we get off

this street, man?

Listen, we're parked in a bad spot.

- That's heavy, man.

- The cops just went by, man.

Hey, they're right...

Hey, man, we're being pulled over, man.

- Hey, that's heavy, man.

- Hey, it's the cops.

They're coming, man.

This is cool, man.

I never had it before, man.

I didn't think

it was going to be like this, man.

What's the problem, son?

Roll down your window.

Keep on knocking. But you can't come in.

Don't, man. It's the cops, man.

Wait, I gotta roll down the window, man.

Here you go. Weigh the anchor.

How much does it weigh?

I don't know. I forgot. You forgot?

I saw that on a movie once.

- Can I see your license, sir?

- What?

Your license. Where's your license?

License. It's on the bumper, man.

Back there, man.

No. I mean your driver's license.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I got my driver's license, man.

I just thought of

something real funny, man.

Hey, your mama.

- Sir, what is your name?

- What?

What's your name?

Isn't it on there on the license, man?

Yeah, that's it. Pedro De Pacas, man.

That's my name.

- Just wait here a minute, huh?

- Okay.

Hey, hurry back.

I miss you already, darling.

Come on, man.

I gotta get rid of this dope, man.

- Don't act a fool.

- Oh, okay.

- We're gonna get busted.

- I'll be cool.

I'm blind. Oh, sh*t, I'm blind!

Hey, blind, man.

I can see clearly now, the rain...

Hey, how long does this sh*t last, man?

- And what is your name, sir?

- You scared me, man.

What? I told you my name, man.

Sir, what's your name?

Hey there. Hey, what's your name, man?

The dude wants to know your name, man.

His name is Ralph, man.

I was sitting in the coffee shop

just minding my own affairs

When all of a sudden this policeman

caught me unawares

He said, "Is your name Pedro?"

I says, "Yeah, I guess so"

He said, "Then come with me

"'cause you're the man

we've been looking for"

I said, "Hey, man, I've been framed

"Hey, no, really, man, I was framed"

I never do nothing wrong, man

But every time I get the blame

I been framed

They put me in the line-up

And let the bright lights shine

There was ten poor dudes like me

Standing in that line

I knew I was a victim

of somebody's evil plan

When this scroungy-looking dude

came up and said

"Yeah, that's him, man"

"Hey, wait a minute, man

I've been framed, man

"Oh, listen to me, judge

I was framed"

I never do nothing wrong

Oh, but every time, I get the blame

Hey, I've been framed

Parole.

Then the prosecuting attorney

started prosecuting on me

You boys are in a lot of trouble.

That dude gave me

the first, second, and third degree

He said, "Where were you

on the night of July 29?"

I said, "Man, I was home in bed"

He said, "Judge, that man's lying"

Hey, excuse me, I need a drink of water.

I said, "Wait a minute, man

I was framed, man

"Hey, just listen to me, man, really

"Gotta believe me

I've been framed, man"

I never do nothing wrong

Hey, thanks, Pedro.

Oh, but every time I get the blame

Oh, I was framed

F***ing vodka, man.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, hey, I'm down here.

Wow, I didn't see you, man.

Hey, listen, you can sleep

in that bedroom right there, man.

- Oh, okay.

- Yeah, it's cool there.

- Check you in the morning.

- Hey, listen, where's the bathroom?

Oh, it's right there. See that door there?

- See you tomorrow, all right?

- Yeah, we got rehearsal.

- Okay. Okay.

- Okay.

Hey, listen, man, if you hear some noise

in the bedroom,

you know, moaning and groaning,

don't pay any attention to it,

it's just me and my old lady.

Next tune you hear

will be Dueling Bedsprings.

- Check you in the morning.

- See you tomorrow.

Amigos, presenting you all's new uniforms.

- All right. All right, show time.

- Come on. Looky here. Looky here.

Looky here. Check it out.

- All right, you want more sh*t...

- Hey, man, I can't wear this stuff, man.

- Hey, you...

- This is terrible, man.

Look, it don't even fit.

No, baby,

you cleaner than Skeeter's peter.

You just don't understand the new style.

- Baby, the name plate...

- Oh, man. Look, it don't even...

Hey, it's too short, man.

Oh, well, we'll just make

a few minor adjustments, holmes.

- Look here. Ain't nothing to...

- Hey, hold it, man.

No, man, I can't wear this.

Oh, Curtis, man.

Look at these uniforms, Jack.

- Didn't I put them in the pocket?

- These uniforms is out of sight, man.

- Shut your mouth, baby.

- Out of sight, man.

I hope mine is as bad as this,

you know?

Hey, you know it.

- You see them new cuts on them?

- Yeah, yeah, man.

All they need is rhinestones

on them pointed shoes, man.

- Yeah.

- They out of sight, all right.

Hey, these uniforms are lame, man.

- What you mean lame, sucker?

- Hey, Pedro, man.

Where's the white dude

you say was playing the drums?

That's him, man.

Oh, that's James, the bass player, man.

- Yeah, what's happening?

- Hey, seriously, man,

these look like waiter uniforms.

- You don't like them, man?

- No.

Oh, wow. I'll be in the kitchen.

He don't like it, he wants some...

Hey, wait a minute. He's right, man.

These are lame.

This is the new cut. You all be bad.

No, hey, man.

If we're going to wear uniforms, man,

you know, let's everybody

wear something different.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, we want something

where everybody

wears something different, man,

but the same, you know?

- I gotta get out of this stuff.

- Yeah, okay. Hurry up, man.

- Hey, hey.

- Yeah, those are lame, man.

- Get us something else, man.

- Pedro.

- Pedro, this is Curtis, baby.

- Yeah, I know Curtis, man.

I mean, I'm on top of it. Rest easy.

Curtis is on the case.

Come on, man.

Hurry up and get dressed.

We gotta go score a lid.

...and we'd like to rock 'n' roll

and play some great music.

I have a song here by a group

called the Search Boys.

And the Search Boys are

going to go searching.

Don't ask me what

they're going to go searching for,

but they're gonna go searching.

So let's do it.

I can't believe we can't find

no grass nowhere, man.

That's 'cause too many people

are smoking it now.

And it really makes it

tough on the rest of us.

- Yeah.

- You know what I mean?

- The prices have gone crazy, man.

- Yeah.

I mean, some people are paying, like,

100 bucks a lid, man.

Wow.

- Who lives here, man?

- That's my cousin Strawberry, man.

He's probably got some dope, man.

He's always got the best smoke.

Oh, I hope so, man.

Yeah, well, he's cool.

His only thing is, he's a little weird.

You know, like,

he went over to Vietnam, man,

and he came back all weirded out,

you know.

Yeah, well, that Nam grass

will do it to you, man.

- Yeah.

- That stuff will lay you out, man.

He's really weird, man.

- That's what lost the war.

- So, like, be careful.

Whatever you do, don't say nothing

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Tommy Chong

Thomas B. Kin Chong (born May 24, 1938) is a Canadian-American comedian, actor, writer, director, musician and cannabis rights activist who is known for his marijuana-themed Cheech & Chong comedy albums and movies with Cheech Marin, as well as playing the character Leo on Fox's That '70s Show. He became a naturalized United States citizen in the late 1980s. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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