Up in Smoke Page #7

Go ahead. After you, King Salami.

They're going to be sorry.

Like, I know where

the best dressing room is.

Hey, you know what I'm talking about?

So, the next day, he comes up to me

and he says, "You know,

"thanks for being there.

Like, you saved my life. "

- You know?

- Just like Cher.

I don't care what people think about me

Hey, man, what are you doing?

Come on, man. Get it together.

We got to be on

in two more bands, man.

Hey, come on, man. Come on.

You ought to hear

what these other groups are into, man.

These cats are

into something heavy, man.

Look, I've been writing this new song.

Listen to this, man.

Mama talking to me

Trying to tell me how to live

And then it goes...

'Cause I don't listen to her

'Cause my head is like a sieve

Then it goes...

Hey, man, are you awake?

I don't feel so good, man.

Come on, man. We're on in...

Did you give him some pills?

Yeah, I gave him some pills,

but I gave him ups.

Sh*t, man. Come on.

Hey, how many fingers you see?

I think I f***ed up.

Oh, sh*t.

Anybody got any coffee or anything?

I got a popper.

We could either, like, you know,

party later or try to start his heart.

...I had known. Get up.

Come on. Now, get up.

- Watch where you're going!

- The record person is waiting.

Look, do what you want,

but don't die, you know?

That's what's really important,

like, not dying, you know?

You know what I'm saying?

While I got you here, you know,

I was thinking,

maybe we should have

some paper between us,

because, like, in this business

a handshake doesn't mean dick.

Everybody into the van. Hurry. Hurry.

Come on.

- Murphy, hide. Harry, Luke, come on.

- Look at all these freaks.

There's one of them.

You know, I'm just telling you,

because I feel responsible.

You know what I mean?

Like, you gotta get it together.

Get your whole gig together.

Everything, you know?

I want to be like me.

Like, I have my own special way

of looking and dressing.

That's me.

No one can take it away from me.

Ladies and gentlemen, Taurus.

Piss off!

That's right, boys. Everybody in, boys.

All the way down.

All the way down. That's right, boys.

We want to talk to you boys

about joining your order.

What size sheet do you wear?

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Can we see some tickets, guys?

We don't need tickets. We are

brothers of the faith, Kemo Sabe.

We don't need tickets to walk with love

in the world.

We have a message

for the people inside.

We gotta see some tickets.

We gotta see tickets.

All right.

We are not brothers of the faith.

- We are police officers.

- Sorry, man. You got to have tickets.

- Let's have some tickets, let's go.

- "Let's have some tickets"?

No. That is a gun. That is not a ticket.

Did you bring the ID? Where's the ID?

All right, get the ID.

We have got to get in here right now.

This is very important.

Hey, Sarge. The van. The van.

The van!

Hey, no wonder

Anita Bryant's pissed off.

Hey. Hey. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Hey, you.

- Hey, listen, wait a minute.

- Where are you taking this tow truck?

- Yeah.

- Where are you going with our van?

Take a walk.

What do you mean, take a walk?

Who are you?

Hey, wait a minute. Who owns this van?

- Who are you, anyway?

- Sergeant Stedenko.

Sergeant Stedenko. What van?

- What do you mean, what van?

- Let's see some ID here.

- Show him your ID.

- Hold it right there.

Hold it right there. Come back here.

Tell him we didn't do nothing.

We didn't do nothing.

- You didn't do a damn thing, did you?

- No.

- Back up.

- Take it easy. Take it easy.

Hey, you know who he is?

Tell him who you are, boss.

Benny, will you shut up.

I'm gonna tell my...

All right.

We got to call the paddy wagon.

- Affirmative. I'll notify headquarters.

- I can't believe this.

Moving right along,

we don't know who they are,

but here's Alice Bowie.

So, you better be good.

Look, but I'm not just in it

for the money. I really like it.

Hi. Hi. Jade East.

You're the worst.

You guys really had

a scheme going, didn't you?

Thought you'd get away

with it, huh? Yeah.

Almost $9 billion.

Nine billion big ones

to help diseased young minds

with marijuana, smack,

toot, quackers, you name it.

Sarge, the wagons are on their way.

Do you realize that this is the bust?

This is the one

that's gonna send me right to the top.

Nail it down, man. Nail it down.

- Harry?

- What?

Are you sure

you talked to headquarters?

They said they were on their way. Relax.

How about a cheeseburger?

No. A sundae.

- Hot fudge?

- Hot fudge sundae.

With some whipped cream on top, nuts.

- They're anchovies.

- Good. Thanks.

- How many pieces have you had?

- I'll buy you something to eat.

- You are stoned.

- Yeah?

Yes, you are very, very stoned.

Look at this.

Sick. You've got food

all over your uniform.

You've got no self-control whatsoever.

Come on, man. Let's do it.

Do something.

All right. You guys ready to jam?

All right, here we go.

One, two, three. Yeah.

My mama talking to me

Trying to tell me how to live

But I won't listen to her

because my head is like a sieve

My daddy, he disowned me

'cause I wear my sister's clothes

He caught me in the bathroom

with a pair of pantyhose

My basketball coach

He done kicked me off the team

For wearing high-heeled sneakers

and acting like a queen

Why don't you guys admit it?

You got the munchies.

The munchies, right?

I've never been so disgusted

in all my life.

You're a disgrace to the force.

You've let me down, boys.

Harry, are you understanding me?

I am stoned. I am stoned.

So go with it.

- Put it in your sundae.

- Go with it? Get away from...

You tell me to go with it?

You almost botch up

the entire operation,

you lose my best dog,

two guys piss on my leg,

I'm on the verge of a total pig-out

and you tell me to go with it?

I'll go with it!

Go with it. Go with it.

I'm so bloody rich.

I own apartment buildings

and shopping centers.

I only know three chords.

You fools.

More. More. More. More. More. More.

More, more, more.

My mama talking to me

Trying to tell me how to live

Wow. Did you hear that crowd, man?

They gave us a standing ovation, man.

We're going to have a bad band.

Wow, we had them eating

right out of their hands.

We're going to be big, man,

really big, man.

We're gonna, like, be bigger than

Ruben and the Jets, man, I bet you.

Shoot. All we got to do is

keep practicing, man,

you know, like, just keep it together.

I feel good, man. I wish we could have

had something to celebrate, man.

You got a joint or anything?

- Hey.

- What?

We getting pulled over?

I just remembered, man.

I got some hash.

Oh, yeah? Well, fire it up, holmes.

All right.

Hey, I need a pin or something.

Oh, there's a pin right here

on my tutu, man.

Hey, be brave

and be sure to remind me,

we gotta take those back

or we'll get charged for an extra day.

Forgot all about this, man.

We're gonna be a big band, man.

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