Vegas Vacation Page #2

You're kind.

What a great audience.

Yeah, all right.

Terrific!

Where do you come from?

Me? Chicago, Illinois.

- Fantastic.

- Chicago!

Why don't you come on stage?

Come on, it'll be fun.

- Go on!

- Yeah, Dad, do it!

Okay, I'll play along.

Applaud!

Good to have you.

What's your name?

Clark Griswold.

Marvelous!

Let's do some real magic.

Listen, I know the routine.

What's it going to be tonight?

Wires? Mirrors? Trap doors?

I happen to know a little magic myself.

I don't know if you've seen this.

Can you tell it's my thumb?

Looks like it is, but it's not.

Whatever, I'll do what you want.

I'm here to help.

Enter.

Okay, I know this one.

- Trust me.

- All right, I will.

Is this going up? I'll go with it.

Me.

Where's Dad?

I haven't got a clue.

How'd you do at the tables?

I'm about even.

Why'd you say we were here?

Oh, come on. How often do I get

to see my cousin Catherine?

Anyway, we're just stopping by for lunch.

I want to gamble.

Russell...

I never want to hear you say that again.

Gambling is a very serious business.

Is that clear?

Excuse me a minute.

$50 on black.

No more bets.

Red 25! Red wins!

Jeez!

Shall we?

Remember me?

Yes.

Love you.

Your baby?

Are you watching for an address?

What block is this?

Very funny, Russ.

Will you check the map again?

Could that be it?

Eddie said there was room for a pool.

Get out the sunscreen.

Cousins!

What do you think?

Can you believe they tested H-bombs

on this beautiful property?

I missed you so much.

Don't you worry about radiation?

All I know is my teeth

have never been whiter...

and my garden has 50-pound tomatoes.

Denny boy, come on over here!

Look at that view.

It's government property around us,

so no one will build.

Look at this one.

They grow up so fast.

I tell him he'll pierce

himself shut one day...

but what can you do?

He likes eating through a straw.

They must make their own mistakes.

Does that hurt?

It's not bad.

Who's hungry?

Need help with the grill?

No, thanks. Don't have one.

I'll get the tongs.

Renewing your wedding vows?

Oh, that's so wonderful.

I wish Eddie and I had time

for that sort of thing.

But with the constant windstorms...

and flash floods...

oppressive heat and...

home-schooling...

we don't have a minute free.

Can you hand me that mitt?

I love the kitchenette.

Oh, thanks.

Listen, things could be a lot worse.

Yeah, you could be pregnant again.

I've been...

earning money testing fertility drugs.

This one's going to be a winner.

Everyone loves a baby.

Yeah, life is good.

My kids are thriving.

Little Ruby-Sue must have grown a foot

since you saw her last.

Daddy, I caught another snake.

That's good, sweetheart.

Put it in the pit with the others.

And go work on your typing.

Nice kids.

Don't ever pick me up again...

jerk!

Look who's home!

This one here's my pride and joy.

Lord is my witness, I hate this heat!

If it ain't gluing your butt to a seat

it's making you sweat like an animal!

And I want something better!

Hey, everybody.

You remember Vickie?

She's a dancer now.

Her picture's everywhere.

Phone booths, men's rooms...

She's famous.

Show them that little move

I taught you there.

Don't think unnatural thoughts

about your cousin.

She's got her mama's looks and

her daddy's sense of balance.

Hose down, kids! Chicken's almost ready!

My chicken's dry as hell.

Mine's dry as hell, too.

If you want to be with me tonight,

I'll give you my beeper number.

Really? That'd be great.

If you're still hungry,

I can get the salad from the dog.

As appealing as that sounds,

we really must go.

We have a lot of sightseeing to do

and I added tetanus shot to the list.

Sorry about the tablecloth. Rusty's

never had that reaction to poultry.

He ain't used to home cooking.

Are you?

He's sick.

Anyway...

He'll be okay.

I wish you two could come...

but no room for the kids,

so thanks for lunch, and bye.

Not so fast, Clark.

I'll get the babysitter.

Hey, kids...

round-up time!

They'll keep busy.

Where are we going?

Hoover Dam!

Over 1000 feet wide and

Where can I buy bait?

I love electricity.

Eddie says we'll get some soon.

What a magnificent achievement.

This is a family vacation.

Try to stay with the family.

Sorry, honey.

This way, please.

The tour is about to start.

Welcome, everyone.

I am your dam guide, Arnie.

I'm about to take you through

a fully functioning power plant.

So, please...

no one wander off the dam tour.

Please, take all the dam pictures

you want.

Now, any dam questions?

Where can I get some dam bait?

This way, please.

What'd he say?

This way.

Don't worry about water leaking

through the rocks. It's normal.

Please, keep up with the tour.

This is one of the oldest

dam tunnels we have.

Come here!

Give me your gum.

From my mouth?

Any gum! Look what's happening here!

- Here.

- I'll catch up.

Damn it.

Where is the damn dam tour?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

And there are over 100 million tons

of cement in these walls.

Hello. Hello.

Help!

It's not that high.

Okay, here we go.

Let's see if I've still got it.

Nice breeze up here.

That's how a power plant works.

How?

This tour gets better every week.

Fishing's been better.

Remember when I had that puffer fish?

Just like in gym class.

One hand at a time.

Ellen!

What's that?

Oh, my God!

Sorry, honey, I'll be right up.

This is steep.

Here we go.

Need help?

No, I got it.

That's a workout there, isn't it?

Climbed all the way up.

I almost lost my tag.

Drinks at the snacketeria on me.

I've noticed you're taking more

of an interest in the fairer sex.

There's something

your old dad would like to say.

You see...

there comes a time...

in every young man's life when he enters...

the fragrant garden of beautiful flowers.

And he wants to enter that garden

with a knowledge and...

a mulch...

to let the flowers bloom

more brightly, rather than...

Dad.

What?

If this is about sex, I already know.

You do?

Good talk, son.

So what's it going to be tonight?

"The Amazing Elvis Monkeys"?

"Liberace on Ice"?

Clark, I don't know.

It's been such a long day.

At Hoover Dam the water /eve/

dropped four feet from a f/ood.

Thank you.

And now back to gamb/ing.

Look at this.

Four tickets to Wayne Newton.

Wayne Newton!

Wayne Newton?

That's Las Vegas, they never stop giving!

Hi, for Ellen Griswold?

I'm Mr. Ellen Griswold.

"Please wear this tonight.

"A friend. "

Who's it from?

I don't know.

But it's beautiful.

They really know how to treat

their high rollers around here.

Okay, kids...

inspection in five minutes.

You heard him! Move it!

Wayne Newton just happens to be

one of America's greatest entertainers.

He has an effect on women.

Yes, Griswold, Griswold.

Right this way, sir.

Here...

make the seats good.

No gratuity is necessary, sir.

- No, really. Keep it.

- Follow me.

We're in the front row.

I tipped him.

What energy!

Thank you.

You're a magical group of people.

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