Vegas Vacation Page #3

And, Greg...

Give me some birds. Let me hear birds.

Mrs. Ellen Griswold.

Ellen, huh?

Holy crap,

Wayne Newton's hitting on Mom.

It's all part of the act.

Now you.

I think we know who sent the dress.

You're lucky.

I've been to every Wayne show

for the last 15 years.

I've never seen him do anything like this.

I'm just saying I've never heard you

hit those notes before.

Don't worry.

You have nothing to fear

from Wayne Newton. He's...

unattainable.

Did you see him staring at...

Watch your mouth.

I think I'll go upstairs and take a bath.

Not me.

Anyone for craps?

We're too young, remember?

I remember when I was too young.

Here.

Take $20.

If you need me...

I'll be rolling the dice.

Have fun, kids.

- Have a nice night.

- See you later.

Daddy wants a seven! Let's go, seven!

Seven! A winner!

Place your bets. Lucky roller coming out.

Place your bets.

Let go of me! Let go of me!

There he is. Clark!

See, I told you.

Look out, don't hurt me now.

Nice place for a pearl necklace.

Do you know this person?

Hi, Clark Griswold. Nice to meet you.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?

Them things is hard to catch.

Twelve. Craps. A loser.

Has anyone ever told you before...

you're bad luck?

Those were my mother's dying words.

But when you got your body

covered in third-degree burns...

and your foot's in a bear trap,

you start talking crazy.

I've run out of money.

Do you cash checks?

Only if you're staying at the hotel.

Indeed I am.

There we are.

No problem.

Good luck.

Look, Clark, if you're...

thinking about buying me

a Cadillac, forget it.

I won't take it.

I'm just trying to get even.

Now where can I do the most damage?

Shrimp cocktail, 29 cents.

Foxy boxing.

Fake IDs.

How'd you know?

When I was your age they needed

a water cannon to keep me away...

from the girls down at the Paramount.

$10. $10! $10!

Shrimp, ladies.

I need the $10.

Here.

Have a good evening, Mr. Morris.

Whatever.

- Another 21!

- You nailed her there.

Let's see. House has 14, and house busts.

Oh, boy!

Wendy, you are my lucky charm.

I don't know what's wrong

with me tonight.

You're rolling.

Good luck, everybody.

Good luck, everybody!

Batter up.

Big bet for a big man!

Sure you don't want to save money

for the buffet?

Okay, wise guy.

Go against three hands.

This should be sweet.

Sweet for me. You're finished.

Straw.

I'm trying to concentrate.

That's a bigger fire than the red drink.

Did you come to Las Vegas

to be a showgirl?

No, I'm on vacation with my parents.

Hard to believe we're related, right?

A drink, please.

Welcome. Can I see some ID?

I think we have a problem.

Good night.

Hey, why the long face?

You know that crap ID you sold me?

I want my $10 back.

Those bums threw you out?

Helicopter rides to the Grand Canyon.

See it as God does.

They tossed me.

Don't they realize what it's like to be:

Give me my money.

I'm not through with you yet. Okay?

You're Nick Pappagiorgio. You're from

Yuma, Arizona. You're into software.

Put your head in the hole

and say "Joey Heatherton. "

- Right here on the Strip?

- Smile, kid.

You're in Vegas!

So you guys have been together

longer than the real Beatles?

Great.

Will you excuse me?

You want to dance up here?

No, I don't think so.

Audrey, honey, let me tell you

something I learned.

In this world, you're either

up on stage in the spotlight...

or down in the pit serving drinks.

Go have fun.

What are you doing up there?

I'm starting my vacation!

She's going to break hearts.

She's going to break something.

Congratulations.

You won the car.

May I see some ID?

Where would you like the car sent,

Mr. Pappagiorgio?

Eighteen.

Nineteen.

So close.

I've had enough. Let's get out of here.

Good luck, sir.

Never seen such a beating since

someone stuck a banana in my pants...

and turned a monkey loose.

Thanks for the pick-me-up.

Why don't you just call it a night

and let Ellen lick your wounds?

That sounds great,

but Ellen went to sleep hours ago.

She must be one hell of a sleepwalker.

Did you record that in Germany?

Good night, Eddie.

That's how they got

the title "Danke Schn. "

It means "thank you. "

"Thank you" in German.

I thought you went to bed.

It got late. I got worried.

Clark, Wayne Newton.

Nice to meet you.

You're in food preservatives? What a gas.

I like it.

As I was saying...

You've traveled. We never go anywhere.

We're very boring. Usually Clark falls

asleep in front of the TV each night.

I guess I'll go upstairs and get some sleep.

Let me just tip the piano player.

She was marvelous.

I might have... I've got a chip here.

Danke schn.

Thanks.

Sit down.

Very special lady.

That's why I entered into the sacred bond

of marriage with her.

I hear that.

You know, I love women.

I observe them.

I cherish them.

Don't let that one out of your sight.

Wayne has invited us to Shenandoah

tomorrow for lunch.

That's my home.

Thank you.

But we have a lot of plans.

Don't we?

Oh, my God!

It's Wayne Newton!

I'm a fan, sir.

I'm a fan.

I can believe it!

Take my seat, Eddie.

Thank you for the drink.

Good night, Wayne.

Do you need a bodyguard?

I'd die for you.

Could I play $5 in coins, please?

I'd like to bet $5.

$5.

New roller.

Looks like a shooter. I'm going for it.

- Go for this. Go for this.

- I'm ready.

Come on!

Seven, now!

Seven! A winner.

Way to go!

Press it?

Press it?

I want to press this up.

Press it.

Yeah, press it.

Give him the dice. Come on.

Seven, dice!

Winner.

Fantastic!

He's great!

I'm sorry to bother you, sir.

May I see some ID?

ID? Sure.

Thank you.

Welcome to the Mirage, Mr. Pappagiorgio.

Why do they do that

when we got a hot table?

How's Yuma?

It's great.

My wife and kids are back in Yuma,

where I work in software...

In the software business.

Let him roll the dice.

No glasses tonight?

No, I do not require them.

Good luck, sir.

But you do.

- Come on!

- Seven!

Seven again! Seven again!

I can't believe it!

Don't wake them.

Forget craps, forget b/ackjack.

/f you want to make money...

wa/k up to a baccarat tab/e and say,

"/ want to p/ay baccarat. "

Feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?

Not right now, honey.

They're teaching me baccarat.

Bet with the player.

That's not exactly what I had in mind.

Bet with the bank. Bet with the player.

Nine is a natural.

Bet with the bank.

Bet with the player. Nine is a natural.

Bet with the bank.

Bet with the player.

Nine is a natural.

Bet with the bank.

Eight is a winner.

Give me that.

Should we really be doing this

before we get married?

Hard six coming out.

Hit me.

Good night.

Do it again!

Do it again!

I'm coming out. Ready?

Seven out.

God!

Nice roll.

You did good.

Thank you.

Cash me in.

Kid, you made me a lot of money tonight.

Jilly from Philly.

Nick Pappagiorgio from Yuma.

Nick Pappagiorgio from Yuma,

you like getting massaged?

By who?

By me!

Meet us in the spa at 10:00

tomorrow morning.

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