Vegas Vacation Page #5

in modern medicine...

I should sell it while somebody

still wanted to buy it.

The smartest thing I ever did.

Why do you have all this money

buried in the ground?

For a rainy day.

We don't get many of those in the desert.

Where's the nearest casino?

Hello, room service.

I'd like the Crab Rangoon...

chicken fingers...

the Jackpot Burger...

and the Tropical Banana Torte.

No.

Cancel that.

I'm going out.

I must warn you.

They don't play the same games here

as at them regular casinos.

Eddie, this place is great.

They don't play this at the Mirage.

Pick a number? I'm great at that.

Coin toss?

These are my games.

Give me $20.

War!

Russ and I play this all the time.

I'm in.

Here we go.

Mine.

That's fast.

Give me another $20.

War, bet again.

Mine again.

Maybe you should spread it around...

not have all your fun at one table.

Dealer has rock. Pay paper.

Call it.

What say we go home and

bury what's left of my money?

Heads.

I'm sorry, it's tails.

Almost.

No, give me that! Give me that!

He cheated, Eddie!

He switched them, I saw it!

- Four.

- Seven.

What am I doing?

I need to go someplace

where a man can think.

I wouldn't do that here.

These stalls are awfully dirty

and they're backed up.

I need to be alone.

I see.

Want me to come?

All right. Come on.

Come on, Clark.

The night is young. They're giving away

free sandwiches at the blood bank.

I'm not worthy of a sandwich.

I'm not a father, I'm not a husband,

I'm nothing!

You may feel like nothing now,

but look on the bright side.

You used to be something.

Nobody can take that away from you.

Good-bye, Ellen.

I'm sure you'll be happy

with Wayne Newton.

Where am I going to go?

You can live with us right here in Vegas.

We'll dig you a room.

And Rusty and poor Audrey...

At night you can sit outside...

and you can tell us how much

more good you used to have it.

Look at all these happy families.

Where did I go wrong?

Without my family,

there is no Clark Griswold.

We can go into business.

We can raise more snakes,

open a petting zoo.

Yeah, that's what we could do.

We could have a lot of happy,

wonderful times.

We'll get your money back.

I'm not worried about my money.

I don't care about it.

I must get my family back!

What about my money?

Stay here, I'll be back.

Police emergency.

Open up!

Don't be alarmed, he's with me.

Say, "Cheese. "

It's Dean Martin's recipe.

I always make too much.

Thank you for having me for dinner.

There's something I must tell you.

Oh, no.

Wayne, please, don't.

I've always been a moral man.

But my resolve is melting

in the light of your smile.

Maybe you're hungry. More pasta?

There's Treasure Island.

There's Harrah's. There's the Mirage.

Next, Wayne Newton's house.

Wayne, please.

Please.

Don't worry, I'm here.

Get out of my way.

Hands off my wife!

Clark, it's not the way it looks.

We're having pasta.

I've been a fool.

And not a loveable fool who clowns

for the delight of children.

But a fool who's...

only fooling himself.

You're back.

You have got to be kidding me.

Why don't you go sing something?

I've learned that

a family vacation only works...

when you're with your family.

You and Russ and...

Audrey.

Audrey.

You're my family.

The most important thing is for us

to get back together before it's too late.

What do you say?

I'm with you.

Let's go get our kids.

- Is there a charge?

- No, sir.

Park it.

Have you seen him?

Mr. Pappagiorgio.

- Lanai Six.

- He's my son.

Mr. Pappagiorgio?

Let's go.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Clark, do something.

Look out!

Oh, my little baby boy!

Excuse me. Excuse me!

Am I right?

Am I?

So I says to him, I said,

"Get your own monkey. "

Oh, my Lord! Rusty!

You must be lost.

This is Mr. Pappagiorgio.

His name is not Pappagiorgio,

he's Rusty Griswold!

He's a C-plus student.

Now, out of the pool!

Let's go, young man!

Now! Get dressed!

I'm looking for this underage kid

named Pappagiorgio.

Yes, he stole my wallet. He's back there.

Where's your sister?

She's with Vickie somewhere.

Where's Vickie?

- Mr. Pappagiorgio, your usual table?

- Not tonight.

You are in deep trouble, my friend.

Excuse me.

Hey, everybody!

Where's Audrey?

Oh, my God!

Our baby!

Hang on, honey,

Daddy's coming to get you!

Move!

What do you think you're doing?

You told me to get a summer job!

Ten years of tap-dancing lessons

and this is how you repay me?

Let's go!

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Come on, let's go.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Let's go home now.

When are we going?

Let's quit while we're ahead.

Ahead or behind, what does it matter?

We still have each other.

When we get home,

even though I've lost most of our money...

Wait a minute.

"I've lost most of our money"?

How much did you lose?

Well, with the checks

and the credit cards...

some trips to the ATM

and the plane tickets I cashed in...

I don't know...

$22,000, $23,000.

Somewhere in there.

What about my tuition?

And my snowboard?

We still have our love.

That's what I've come to realize.

Clark, how much money

do you have right now?

I'm broke.

Rusty?

I spent it all.

Having an entourage is expensive.

Audrey?

No pockets.

I've got...

$2.

Get our money back.

There.

This is not the way to do this.

Can't we just get your parents

to wire us some money?

Oh, keno. This is easy. I saw this on TV.

Okay, you've got to pick ten numbers.

We must play the kids' birthdays.

Sixteen, seven.

And Dad's football number, 44.

Excuse me, is that your family?

You're a lucky man.

Luckiest guy on earth.

The grandparents' anniversary.

I never got married.

I was afraid to take the risk.

Beautiful children.

Oh, thank you. We're very blessed.

This thing is money, money.

Let me tell you something.

Money isn't everything.

I sit here alone...

nobody cares.

If I win, I have nobody to share it with.

You have your health.

It seems like you have a hobby.

Yeah, a hobby I got. My health?

If I had a family, I'd want it like yours.

Tonight, consider yourself

part of our family.

I'll take you up on it.

Really, thank you.

Nice of you.

Good luck.

The game's almost starting.

Seven.

It's seven.

It's Audrey's birthday!

We're going to do it!

Ten.

Fourteen.

Doesn't matter.

Even eight matches wins $15,500.

Twenty-two.

Thirty-three.

Eighty.

Your fina/ number, 54.

I won!

I won! I won!

I won!

I won!

I won!

All the years I've waited for this!

I've been coming in here for years!

I've never won, never won once,

and now I won!

The money is mine. I have the money,

the money is mine. I got it!

For the first time, I have the...

Sir...

are you okay?

Go get someone.

Sir.

Oh, my God.

I won!

I won the money! I won!

Did you hear me?

It's okay. It's here, right here.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...

That's wonderful.

That's wonderful.

What did he say?

He said, "Take the ticket. "

He said, "Take the ticket"?

I think he did.

He's gone.

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