Verry Terry Page #2

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all right.

Now, I started off as

a car salesman.

- Right.

- All right, you know, being

a car salesman, all right,

is very much like being an actor,

you know, would you agree with that?

Sure.

Well, I'll tell you here,

bagged a little part as a bad guy

in the Turkish action hero

franchise, Suede Protector.

Yeah, that's right.

I made my movie debut in the sequel,

Suede Protector 2: Brown Velvet.

Run the tape.

There's a guy.

They say he can't be killed.

Suede.

They say he's part man...

part machine.

All suede.

I want you to find him.

And I want him dead.

Two. Blue Velvet.

Yeah, yeah.

Nice one. We'll get you a copy

on DVD.

That looks good that, right?

Terrific. I love the way that

it went up in the air.

Beautiful. All right.

I'm completely lost now.

Autocue, dad.

Eh? What?

Autocue.

Oh, yeah, the autocue.

Oh, thank God for the autocue.

What does it say

on my autocue, Mickey?

If he could give just one

piece of acting advice...

What would it be?

I would say try and complete

your sentences, you know,

that's a good start.

- Get a real job.

- Yeah, get a real job.

- Get a real job.

- That's why I got this job, yeah.

I like it when he does that.

That's good. The fist of peace.

Yeah, yeah.

Ain't that nice.

Did you learn that in Wales?

Yeah. When I was pounding

the fat girl.

Oh, Mickey! I'm trying to raise

the tone, you're lowering the tone.

Yeah, well.

- Mickey.

- Yes.

It's a bit of Mickey Rourke trivia,

yeah?

Yeah.

Apparently you don't watch

your films.

Right.

Until four and a half years

after you're made them.

Several.

Now The Wrestler's a very good film

and if you haven't seen it,

let me just explain

what The Wrestler's about.

Basically, right, Mickey plays

Randy the Ram Robinson, all right?

Now Randy the Ram

is a wrestler, OK,

and he does a lot of wrestling

and then he stops for a bit, yeah,

and then he starts wrestling again

and then he gets a bad back...

And a heart attack.

And a heart attack,

and then he starts wrestling again.

It's very, very good.

I like that film a lot.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oscar nominated may I add?

There.

Now apparently, Mickey, you once had

an erection for 9 Weeks.

True.

F*** me. What's your secret?

We didn't talk.

You didn't talk?

No.

Oh you and... She's got a lovely

pair of Bassingers.

I understand. They even look lovelier

if you don't talk to one another.

Oh I bet, I bet.

- Yeah.

- What's her Kim like?

I don't know, I never got there.

F***ing hell.

I proposed it, but I got shot down.

Really, how did you do that?

You just laid it right on the table.

Oh no, I went straight up to her

and said I want to...

And she didn't do it?

No.

Hang about. You're doing it all

wrong then, you know? Right so...

Too forward.

Let's take it from the beginning.

So Kim Bassinger is on set.

She's completely naked, right.

Yeah.

You walked up to her.

No, I went to her when she was

dressed holding a balloon.

Holding a balloon?

Yeah.

Where the f*** was she?

A kid's party?

On the boardwalk.On the boardwalk?

Yeah. On her own?

Yeah. I just walked up and said

"My God, I want to give it to you

all night long, sweetheart".

Yeah?

She said "I don't think so, Mickey."

F***ing hell. Frigid b*tch.

Never mind.

That's why you moved to Wales.

F***ing hell!

Mickey, have you ever made

a girl very angry?

All of them.

You make all of them angry?

All of them.

Why do girls get

so f***ing angry all the time?

Exactly which is why it's time

for Terry's angry birds.

They're birds and they're angry

They're Terry's angry birds.

F***ing hell. That's good.

Let's play Terry's angry birds!

So, who's our first angry bird?

They're birds and they're angry

They're Terry's angry birds.

Lauren Richards. Where are you?

Oh, that's convenient isn't it?

Ain't that convenient?

So, Lauren, why are you an angry bird?

They're birds and they're angry

They're Terry's angry birds.

Why are you so f***ed off?

He dribbles in his sleep

and I roll my face into it in the

night and it's just really annoying.

F***ing hell.

Where do we get these f***ers?

Eh? What have you got to

say for yourself?

She loves it.

You think she loves it? She does.

Do you love it?

No. Right, OK.

She doesn't love it!

Carrie Stanworth. Where's Carrie?

Hello. Oh, hello.

Ah-ha. Cue microphone. Oh, wow.

Stand up for everyone

and give us a spin.

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Mickey, I think she might be

from Wales.

I'm half Welsh, actually.

Oh, right. The top half

or the bottom half?

- I love you, Mickey.

- Love you, too.

All right.

Carrie, why are you an angry bird?

He's married to me but I think

he should be married to my mum,

they get on far better.

Oooh!

And so why do you have a crush

on your wife's mother?

Well, my mother-in-law's more into

darts and football and politics

and fish fingers and things

like that.

Who wants to make the sexual

innuendo joke following that one?

You ever have a fish finger

up in Wales there, Mickey?

How many fish fingers does she like?

All of them.

F***ing hell. F*** me.

All right.

You got your work cut out there,

darling.

Jeremy Kyle's two studios

down that way.

So, which one's the angriest bird?

Which one gets...

an all-expenses-paid dinner

for two

at Cafe Rouge?

So, who wins, Mickey?

It's number one. That's right.

Stand up, stand up.

Stand up, stand up.

All right.

You have won dinner for two with

the star

of the Suede Protector

action franchise!

Come on out, now.

Come on, take your prize.

Hang about, hang about, hang about,

hang about, hang about.

Run to him sweetie, run to him.

That's Mickey f***ing Rourke.

I'm Terry f***ing Tibbs

and this is Verry F***ing Terry.

Yeah, yeah. That's a good one, yeah.

I like that one.

That kills me every time.

Welcome back to Verry Terry.

Mickey Rourke is still with us.

How you doing, Mickey, all right?

Good. Very good.

I love you, Mickey.

Yeah, I love you, too.

I love you, too.

Now it's time to bring on

my next celebrity guest.

She is a former Blue Peter presenter

and reigning Royal Variety Club

of Great Britain

Showbiz Personality

of the Year, 1996...

it's Anthea Turner,

ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Hello.

Thank you.

Oh, beautiful.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Anthea, how are you?

How are you, love...

Oh, hello, oh. Mm. Oh, yeah,

oh, yeah. How are you?

One more, mm, oh, one more.

Mm, two more.

Oh. Ha. Oh.

One on the forehead,

one on the forehead.

Thank you!

Yeah, that's good. Oh, f***ing hell.

All right, sit down.

It's all right. How are you?

How are you, Anthea Turner?

Oh, yeah.

I must say, I've always wanted

my Blue Peter vag.

Badge, badge.

Now, you are the face,

are you not, of Create A Craft,

the website that allows you

to create whilst crafting.

Well, because I spent all those years

making things on Blue Peter...

Yeah, yeah.

I love craft

and I love making things...

You said that bit.

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