Verry Terry Page #3

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And so therefore, you know,

I'm probably the ideal person

to get Britain crafting.

Mm. There's not enough crafting

that goes on.

I know, but you can't

have idle hands.

You can't.

Mickey would know about that.

People are sitting at home

when they should be making things.

I just want to hear about

this Blue Peter thing.

Oh, Blue Peter. Oh, right, OK.

Cos Mickey probably thinks

that Blue Peter's a person...

I know. A lot of Americans think

it's a porn show and it's not.

About 60/65 years old,

runs a sex shop in Bermondsey.

He's probably in D Wing right now,

you know, doing 20-25. Anthea!

Sorry.

I was talking there and you

interrupted again. Unbelievable.

I thought it was a chat.

Oh, right.

Now you like to create, yeah?

Yeah.

You like to craft, yeah?

Yeah.

Are you ticklish?

Yeah.

Well, then let's

bring out a tickler!

Ah!

No, no, no! Leave him.

Get her, get her! Tickle her.

Tickle her.

That's it, that's it. Right there!

Get her!

All right, all right, all right.

F***ing hell, hey,

that was exhilarating, wasn't it?

Oh, dear. That was a bit...

I need to rearrange...

Oh, you like that?

Didn't touch you anywhere

he should have? Shouldn't have?

No, no, no, no.

It was above-board tickling.

Now, Anthea, you presented a show...

Ah.

Called A Perfect Housewife.

I did.

Now, sometimes we pay the price

for perfection, do we not, Mickey?

Sometimes things

get a little obsessive.

Sometimes we fall into addiction.

You ever had an addiction, Mickey?

You've got one now, haven't you?

Fat Welsh chicks.

20 a day apparently, f***ing hell.

Is it true that you once had sex

with 15 women in one night?

Is that true?

Not supposed to talk about that.

Are you not?

Oh, well, that's good,

cos you nearly beat my record.

Oh yeah, yeah. 19. F***ing hell.

Had to sew it back on again.

Basically, I just wanted to say

that I have suffered an addiction,

all right, and I'm overcoming it

now, all right?

That was that I was a shopaholic,

and we'll see the trailer now

for this documentary

that deals with my shopaholicism.

Play the f***ing tape.

For his whole adult life, Terry Tibbs

has been addicted to buying things.

Wooden ladders, talk to me.

And it's ruining his life.

I'll give you 49,999.

F***ing hell.

Terry's shopping compulsion has

led his son, Lionel, to seek help.

My own son.

We want to get into the inner Terry,

not the Terry that everybody sees.

Inner Terry, oh, yeah.

I want to get to the inner Donna.

Donna Dawson is a psychologist

who specialises in addiction.

We're going to get you through this.

Do you promise?

Yeah. Keep moving.

Come on, keep moving this way.

Look at me, look at me!

Focus. Focus. Look at me.

I can't look any more.

Look at me.

Good.

- I didn't buy anything.

- No.

Come on, you're almost

halfway through.

Halfway?

Almost.

Oh, for f***'s sake!

What was the last thing you buy,

Anthea, anything good?

- Pair of shoes this afternoon.

- Oh, f***ing hell.

They were in a sale.

Oh, a sale. I love the sales.

Do you like the sales, Mickey?

The what, sorry? The south?

The sales.

Sales.

No, the sales.

Southern cooking?

No, no, the sales. The sales.

Oh.

The winter sales, the summer sales.

Sales, yeah.

Mid-season sales. Son, I'm having

a relapse. I'm having a relapse.

Oh, Terry. Hold onto it,

hold onto it.

Oh, that's good.

Now, I am an entrepreneur,

you know, I sell cars.

I take TV appearances.

I have my chat show.

I have a good f***ing life,

you know?

And I'm trying to expand

the Tibbs' empire, right,

so what I'm doing is,

I'm releasing my own scent.

Ah.

Just kidding with you.

And it is... Head by Terry Tibbs.

Look at that. Ain't that nice?

Head by Terry Tibbs.

Yeah? You like that?

Thank you, thank you.

Oh, yeah, have a

little sniff of that.

Is it unisex?

Oh, no, no, it's not.

It's for men. It's very nice.

Have a little sniff.

You like that?

How lovely.

Yeah, that'd make a great present.

You could give

your dad Head for Christmas.

He'd like that, wouldn't he? Yeah?

That would be fabulous.

Anthea, you could give your dad

Head for Christmas.

He's an Old Spice man normally.

Oh, is he? Yeah. I bet he is.

Well, give him Head, he'd prefer it.

I will do.

Now, Mickey.

Yeah.

Have you had a nice time?

I've had a great time.

Great time.

Anthea, have you had a nice time?

I've had a lovely time,

thank you very much.

Audience, have you had a nice time?

Yeah.

That's right. Well, you know what?

I've had a better than nice time.

I've a better than better nice time.

In fact...

I've had the time of my life

And I've never

Felt this way before

Yes, I swear, it's the truth

And I owe it all to you

I've had the time of my life

And I owe it all to you

Rah, rah, ah-ah-ah,

Boom, ba wom, ba-ba

Oh, la, la-la-la

Want your bad romance.

Here they come, Mickey.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's a wrap.

Oh, yeah.

You know that I want you

You know that I need you.

Yes, I'm really not your type.

I want you bad

You bad romance.

I kissed a girl and I liked it

The taste of

Her cherry chapstick.

Oh, not this...

You know that I want you...

No, we've been through all this.

You know that I need you...

Listen, I'm really not

that type of guy.

I want you bad

You bad romance...

I want your loving

And I want your revenge

You and me

Could have a bad romance

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

I want your love

And I want your revenge

You and me

Could have a bad romance

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah

Caught in a bad romance

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

La, la, la, la, la

Caught in a bad romance.

F***ing hell.

Rah, rah, ah-ah-ah

Roma, roma, roma-mah

Gaga, ooh, la-la

Want your bad romance.

This is Verry Terry.

This is Verry Terry thanking you.

Much love!

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