Visit to a Small Planet Page #5

He really moved!

That was wonderful, Ellen.

Tomorrow I'll teach you to lift buildings.

Isn't this fun?

Hay!

Would you kindly stop

flirting with my girl?

I didn't mean any harm, Conrad.

Inside, cold spaghetti, remember?

Cold spaghetti nothing.

You got a hot chile look in your eye!

Look, look, here he comes.

Probably end up in jail.

We can't do that. It would

spoil our whole day.

Watch him. I'll give him an 8 the easy way.

You know your way back

home, don't you fella?

Well, I found my way to the earth didn't I?

That's a lot easier than finding

your way out of a turnpike.

Well... thanks

for the car, Conrad.

I'll be careful.

These turnpikes are murder. Ain't they bud?

They're not so bad, just follow me.

Flash! Ladies and gentlemen,

the most remarkable event

in the history of Virginia

has just occurred in Manassas.

At exactly 9:
37 am,

at the Richmond interchange...

Mary had a wittle wamb.

Its fleece was white as snow

and everywhere that Mary went

the wamb was sure to go.

Hi Clementine.

Hi honey, how are you?

Now what's this all about?

Everyday the same old routine.

And I'm getting pretty tired of it.

Here he comes, the terror of Manassas.

Here here now neighbors should be friends.

I want you two to shake hands.

I positively refuse!

Right in the eye. You call her a lady?

Alright now stop this bickering

and I'm not leaving here until

you two kiss and makeup.

I won't kiss him but he can kiss me.

There, now that wasn't so terrible was it.

Dames, she really loves it.

Mrs. Spelding...

Shh! I'm eavesdropping.

Rogers been in there listening

to Mr Abercrombie for almost an hour.

I don't like that Ambercrombie.

I'm sure Rogers going to lose his job.

Don't you worry about that Mrs Spelding.

You've made a few mistakes

too many old man.

George if you're saying.

I'm saying that viewer wise,

sponsor wise, information wise.

You Spelding are low man on the totem pole.

The flag is down the lifeboats

are gone and the ship is sinking.

- And I'm the captain?

- But not for long.

You're going down for the third time.

Who's this joker?

Kreton? Oh, he's a visitor here.

Last night about 7 o'clock

Mary had a wittle wamb

its fleece was white as.

Spelding! Are you in your second childhood?

Yes sir, there's no other explanation.

Abercrombie, I've been looking forward

to meeting you for a long time.

You've always been A-1 on my ship

ever since the lifeboat

went up the totem pole.

I beg your pardon?

What I mean to say man, you're

the talk of Madison Avenue.

Oh? Oh well... aren't you

exaggerating a trifle?

Not a bit. How about that humdinger

of a deal you pulled on

BB. DD. JJ. And W, eh?

You really gave them the old

stabbed in the back. Knife wise.

I really pulled a fast one there didn't I.

Wait a minute.

Nobody knew about the BB. DD.

JJ. And W deal, not even W.

How did you find out?

Well don't tell me. From my wife.

No! Eloise.

Shh! Nobody knows about Eloise.

Not even your wife.

- Are you sure?

- I'm sure.

He's sure.

Oh, good good.

You see when a man has a wife like mine

and Eloise, like Eloise.

Well, he can get in an awful mess.

Would you pardon me, I want

to get some more ice.

Sure.

What's he thinking about?

Am I going to lose my job?

Very important to get rid of Spelding.

I'm sunk.

Oh no your not.

Oh, eh, Spelding.

I suggest we let this simmer

in the pot for a while.

And about that BB. DD. JJ. And W business.

And... Eloise.

This is strictly "entre nous" of course.

Oh of course.

I won't say a word.

No, not as long as you still have

your job eh, Mr Spelding.

Oh I get it, blackmail!

It's not bad... blackmail.

No, I use it all the time myself.

You got quite a future in the

advertising game young man.

Cheerio.

- Goodbye George.

- Oh, goodbye Reba.

Remember me to your charming wife.

Oh, yes of course.

Thanks, my boy. You saved my neck.

Well, I don't like him.

How everything go dear?

Fine, just fine, thanks

to our young friend here.

He really straiten old George out.

Glade to have been of service, sir.

Aah. What a great son in law he'd make.

- You mean instead of Conrad?

- I certainly do.

I don't know... Sputniks,

for grandchildren

but I don't think parents should interfere,

mine didn't or I wouldn't be Mrs.

Roger Putnam, Spelding. Goodbye dear.

Conrad, you know what I

think we oughta do tonight?

- Get married?

- No, silly.

I think we should take

Kreton to the "Hungry Brain."

- He might enjoy it.

- I wouldn't enjoy it.

Not with him.

- You're jealous.

- I can't help it.

Baby doll, marry me.

Darling I can't. Daddy would be furious.

If your daddy thought it would get

me out of his bedroom tonight.

He'd forge the wedding license.

Darling, I just can't marry you.

Your sweet, but maybe

what I really want,

what I really need, is someone

to drag me around be the hair.

Oh, you started. Good.

Oh don't mind me,

I won't make a sound.

I'll just sit back here and take notes.

You go right ahead.

Kreton, we went all

through that this morning.

It's not polite to snoop on people.

That's right mister.

Well, I didn't mean any harm. I'm sorry.

Kreton, Conrad and I have decided

to take you out tonight.

You decided..

We decided.

No we didn't.

Yes we did!

Well, I'm not going!

Then will go alone!

Mister, I don't approve of my girl

going out with strange men.

Kreton is not strange!

They don't come any stranger!

Kreton, you and I are going

to The Hungry Brain tonight.

Oh wonderful!

What is it?

Well, it's our favorite rendezvous.

And it's out of this world.

Out of this world? I'd better dress for it.

Well, here we are.

On the moon?

On the moon! No.

No Ellen, The Hungry Brain.

Come on dear.

What's the matter Ellen, you're

trembling. Did I drive too fast for you?

No, its just that I never cross the river

before without using the bridge.

Kreton, don't you know

what Bridges are for?

Yeah, to shade the fish.

Mr. Mayberry.

Thank you!

Let's go.

Man, now that's out.

That's so out,

he ain't never been in.

Well, real old fashioned music.

I think this is going to be fun.

Good evening, Miss. Spelding.

Good evening.

Right this way please.

This cat must be our new leader.

Well, if he ain't, let's elect him.

Crazy. He's a real kook.

Hey kook!

Like uh... who's the new member?

I don't know baby but he sure looks cool.

Welcome to inner space brother.

Thank you.

Say, that's a real crazy looking

pair of jeans you have dad.

Who laid the threads on you?

Jeans? Threads?

Like who's your tailor baby

and where can we find him?

Oh, my Taylor. Well, do you

know where the Milky Way is?

Yeah the...

The Milky Way.

Yeah, yeah the Milky Way. Go baby wale.

Well, you turn right at the second nebula

and it's the third planet

at the end of the star cluster.

You just ask for Mr De Milo

and tell him I sent ya'.

Man this cat talks off the top.

He's tuned in.

Tell me double hipness.

What floor do you get out of

when you split from the cloud.

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