Wag the Dog Page #11

MOSS:

(TAKING CHARGE)

Okay. Here's what we're gonna do.

HE GESTURES TO HIS ASSISTANT, WHO COMES OVER FOR A CONFERENCE.

MOSS:

(CONT.)

I need a little bit of help...?

ANGLE ON BREAN WALKING TRUDY. HE GESTURES TO AMES.

AMES:

Miss, we are going to ask you to sign this little sheet

of paper...

TRUDY:

Well, my agent would be ril ril miffed with me, if I

signed anything, uh, to...

AMES:

This does not have to do with your Deal. This is for

your Security Clearance.

(PAUSE)

HE TAKES OUT A SHEET OF PAPER FROM HIS POCKET.

THEIR WALK HAS BROUGHT THEM AND THE CAMERA BACK TO MOSS AND THE ASSISTANT, AND

THE DIRECTOR.

DIRECTOR:

(TO MOSS)

...fix it in the mix.

ASSISTANT:

We're going to do it digitally...

MOSS:

...can we shoot one?

DIRECTOR:

Alright, now we're gonna...

THE PET WRANGLER HANDS A DOG TO TRUDY. THE ASSISTANT WAVES HIM OFF, AND

LOOKS AROUND, AND HANDS HER A BAG OF POTATO CHIPS.

ASSISTANT:

...run with this...

TRUDY:

...these'r potato chips...

DIRECTOR:

Just, uh, just hold the bag when you run.

MOSS:

(TO BREAN)

We need it for the Arm Position, on the screen it'll be

a kitten.

TRUDY:

Someone's bringing in a kitten...?

MOSS:

No, no, no.... we'll punch in a kitten. Um... Later.

TRUDY:

...you're gonna Punch in a Kitten Later.

MOSS:

Yes.

(PAUSE)

TRUDY:

Why...?

A.D.

Okay, settle, people. Settle... we're gonna try

one...

MOSS:

It gives us a wider option.

TRUDY:

A wider option of what?

MOSS:

(DISTRACTED)

...of kittens...

TWO HAIR AND MAKE-UP WOMEN JUMP IN, AND START TWEAKING TRUDY, AS MOSS'S

ATTENTION IS DIVERTED ELSEWHERE.

TRUDY ADDRESSES HERSELF TO BREAN.

TRUDY:

...but, you know, all kidding aside. When this goes

National.... I get to put it on my resume.

BREAN:

(WHO IS DIALING A PHONE)

Actually, no.

TRUDY:

Because, like, what is it, a Guild thing? I mean,

what, what, what could they do to me...

BREAN:

...someone would come to your house and kill you.

(TO PHONE)

Hello... we're about to start shooting...

A.D.

(TO HAIR AND MAKE-UP)

Hey, hey, hey, she's ... will you? She's just been

raped by Terrorists, jump out, will you...

THE A.D. SHOOS HAIR AND MAKE-UP AWAY.

CAMERA GOES WITH BREAN, PAST AMES, WHO IS ADDRESSING HIMSELF TO THE A.D.

AMES:

And...she's not an Illegal Immigrant? Is she? Can I

see her "chart?" Because...

MOSS:

Gonna be fine. Gonna be fine, people? Are we getting

there...?

BREAN WANDERS BACK TO THE CONTROL BOOTH WHERE WE SEE THE SCENE ON SEVERAL

MONITORS AND THE YOUNG GIRL, STANDING AGAINST THE BARE SWEEP ON THE BACK WALL.

WE HEAR "ACTION" AND THE YOUNG GIRL RUNS FORWARD. WE HEAR THE TECHNICIANS

MUTTERING, AND THEY PUNCH UP A PLAYBACK, AND WE SEE THE SAME RUN-FORWARD,

REPLAYED AGAINST AN "ALBANIAN VILLAGE" SCENE.

TECHNICIAN:

...gimme some flames...

AS HE SPEAKS, FLAMES ARE ADDED TO THE SCENE...

TECHNICIAN:

...some sound of Screaming...?

(SCREAMING IS ADDED)

...whoo-aahh sirens? Anne Frank?...

THE SIRENS ARE ADDED.

MOSS COMES INTO THE CONTROL BOOTH, AND TALKS TO THE ACTOR.

ANGLE:

ON AMES AND BREAN, IN THE CONTROL ROOM.

AMES:

...can we see the Kitten...?

THE PHONE RINGS, AMES PICKS UP HIS CELLPHONE.

AMES:

(CONT.)

Hello... Yes. We'll be back...?

BREAN:

We'll be back tonight.

AMES:

(TO PHONE)

Tonight.

(HE HANGS UP)

Well, you've started a Tempest in a Teapot.

BREAN:

Waal, that's where you want em...

AMES:

...I just hope...

MOSS:

(TO TRUDY)

Do it again, love, will you...? We'll tell you before

we're going to shoot...

WE SEE ON THE MONITOR THE YOUNG GIRL RUNNING WITH THE BAG OF POTATO CHIPS,

VARIOUS BURNING BUILDINGS IN THE B.G.

MOSS:

...could she be running across a bridge? She's running

across a Burning Bridge.

ONE OF THE TECHNICIANS' FACES LIGHTS UP.

TECHNICIAN:

(TO HIMSELF)

....beautiful.

WE PLAYBACK THE LAST RUNTHROUGH, AND THE GIRL IS NOW RUNNING ACROSS A BRIDGE.

MOSS:

(LEANS IN TO TALK WITH THE TECH PEOPLE)

Of course, we're gonna need some water, uh...

TECHNICIAN:

Is it a stream, or is it a...

MOSS:

No, I think..

TECHNICIAN:

a "pond," or

MOSS:

No, I think it's ... can we see the calico kitten...?

AS HE SPEAKS THE BAG OF CHIPS IS TRANSFORMED INTO A CALICO KITTEN.

AMES:

(ON HIS PHONE)

A small, "calico" kitten, sir.

(PAUSE)

"Calico."

(PAUSE)

AMES:

(TO MOSS)

...can we have a white one...?

MOSS:

(TO DIRECTOR)

Can we have a white one, please...

AS THEY SPEAK THE BROWN KITTEN IS TRANSFORMED INTO A WHITE ONE.

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