Wag the Dog Page #23

THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK,

SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK

SHOW.

JIM BELUSHI:

...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am

speaking to those in Albania who have the man in

custody, and from the bottom of my heart:

HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN.

DISSOLVE:

INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY.

A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER

WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA.

ANGLE:

ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN,

CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST.

NEWSCASTER (ON TV)

...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this

just in...the search for William Schumann continues.

NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the

countryside, as...

ANGLE:

ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "F*** ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE

INT SHOESTORE H.Q.

THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS

"87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION.

BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM.

AIDE:

...White House wants to know about the Congressional

Medal of Honor.

BREAN:

What about it?

AIDE:

For Schumann.

BREAN:

Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86

percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up,

they don't go down...

THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH

OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND,

"COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM

BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT.

BREAN:

I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not

wait to give it to him after the election. When he's

gonna need some help....

THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES.

BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT.

BREAN:

King...

FAD KING:

All part of the Service we Render.

MOSS:

(OF BREAN, TO FAD KING)

He ain't seen nothin' yet.

FAD KING:

When do you bring'em back? Schumann.

BREAN:

(LOOKS AROUND)

Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight.

FAD KING:

Where is he?

BREAN:

Out in Oklahoma.

MOSS:

Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my

shirts, show him a little treat.

FAD KING:

See y'at the Finish Line.

AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK.

MOSS:

Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me.

BREAN:

Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of

giving up that one...

MOSS:

Hey, lemme close out the thing in style.

MOSS:

I've come to feel It's my thing.

(PAUSE)

You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many

times, it's just a job. And then...

BREAN:

Hell of a Ride, Stanley...

MOSS:

...isn't it?

(PAUSE)

Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the

bittersweet...

HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD.

INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT.

BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE.

BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP.

ANGLE HIS P.O.V.

THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A

CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR

CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE."

AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM

INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER.

ANGLE:

BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE.

BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION.

MOSS:

No business like it.

THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX.

INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO

TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A

LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE.

ANGLE:

MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW.

ANGLE, THEIR POV.

EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT.

ANGLE INT THE LIMO.

BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT.

THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH

HORSES," COMMERCIAL.

COWHOY:

(VO)

Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a-

gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'...

COWBOY #2

(VO)

Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't

Switch Horses...

ANNOUNCER:

Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who

brought peace to...

MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS.

MOSS:

F***ing amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we

bring it all back home...

BRKAN:

...knock wood...

MOSS:

And who's gonna know?

(PAUSE)

Who's gonna know what we did.

(PAUSE)

Who's gonna know...?

BREAN:

(SHRUGS)

Pride of a job-well-done...

AMES:

It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but

it's more than that.

MOSS:

(DISTRACTED)

...mmm?

AMES:

It's the gratitude of your party, and of your

President...

MOSS:

Izzat the thing...

AMES:

Indeed it is.

MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW.

ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY

PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..."

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