Walk Like a Panther Page #8

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be all right, Dad?

TREVOR:

They'll be fine, son.

Those Dixon Brothers

might be gentle giants,

but they'll have Popsy's back.

I hope you're right, Dad.

- Oh, my God.

- TREVOR:
What is it?

- They've killed a copper.

- TREVOR:
What?

Two sugars.

One.

None in that one.

Thanks, Mr Beck. And sorry about the...

you know.

It just... It just

came out of nowhere.

Yeah, we're sorry

about that.

Not "that." Or "it."

She.

Belinda.

A beautiful sow.

No prizewinner,

but those magnificent teats

have suckled a few.

I hope I'm right in thinking

you didn't drive out here

all purposeful

to murder a pig?

- No.

- No. No.

So why are you here?

Well...

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

CLIFF:
Hold on, Dawn.

Watch me personal space.

Cliff. Just...

I'm trying to,

but something's gonna give.

It's gonna go.

Wait a minute, will you?

Boo!

Lesley Beck.

- I'm Mark...

- BECK:
Mark Bolton.

We met, lad, many times.

Yea high,

last time I saw you.

Always trying to get your moves

seen by your dad over there.

Quite rightly lodged yourself

firmly under Ginger's wing.

He saw you.

He were a good man.

God rest his soul.

Is that the original?

Aye. Only ever

had the one.

Witnessed

40 years of terror,

through these eyelets.

(CHUCKLING)

- Boo!

- (WHIMPERS)

Around 27 pubs a week

are closing across the UK,

with that number set to rise.

Some, however, will not go

without a fight.

Quite literally in the case of The

Half Nelson in West Yorkshire.

A group of ex-wrestlers

known as the Panthers

are staging

a battle royale

in an attempt to save their

pub from being demolished.

A video showing the Panthers

dust off their moves

to "Get Their Grapple On"

has gone viral.

The clip captured

the imagination of millions

and inspired the promoter,

Popsy Wilson,

to put on the fund-raiser dubbed the

"Ginger Storm." The wrestlers...

Who signed off on closing

The Half Nelson?

CHAUFFEUR:
That'll be

Paul Peterson, Miss Winters.

It's another Bowers deal.

A Peterson and Bowers deal.

What a surprise.

CHAUFFEUR:

It would be a bloody shame.

- What would?

- CHAUFFEUR:
To lose The Nelson.

Set up a meeting

with the board.

And get me four tickets

to the Ginger Storm.

- CHAUFFEUR:
The wrestling?

- Yes! The bloody wrestling.

Terry. Never shake my hand.

Snap-snap, it's all over.

Look. Good lad.

Keep your eyes

on our friend here.

All right, he's...

Lesley, this is

Terry, Terry.

- I can't.

- Shake the man's hand. What's up with you?

- TREVOR:
Come on, son.

- Come on, Mark.

Come on, come on.

- (GROANING)

- TREVOR:
Son. All right.

(LAUGHS)

- TREVOR:
Come on.

- LARA:
Let him go.

TREVOR:
That's all right, son.

Come on.

It's all right, Mark.

- Just relax. You'll get it.

- You can do it, man.

How... How do you do the grab?

How'd you get the grab?

So you get the head

under there like that...

- Yeah?

- ...and then you interlock the hands.

And then you sit up proud

and show him off. Look at that!

Look what I've got. Easy.

Sorry, son.

LARA:
Come on, Mark.

Just relax. Relax.

(CHATTERING)

(SHOUTS)

LARA:

That's it.

(SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENTS)

- (LAUGHS) Ah yes!

- No! No!

Easy! Easy!

TREVOR:
Easy on him, Cliff.

Easy on him.

It's okay, son.

No, you were right, Dad.

You were right not to put me

in the ring.

You know, I can't do it.

I'm an embarrassment.

To all of you.

I'm no Panther.

- Mark!

- BECK:
Let the lad go.

All right, knobhead?

(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Piss off.

What's up with you?

I've heard you're a

right little grappler.

You heard wrong.

No, seriously,

what's up with you?

The whole town's buzzing

about this wrestling malarkey.

Even I am

a little tiny bit.

Well, you can take

my place, then.

Probably even better than me

with that foot.

Yeah, I probably am.

Why don't I help you?

Keep you focused.

I know a bit of oregano. Get you

ready for the canvas and that.

How do I turn that frown

upside down?

I just...

can't bring back

the old school.

Do you know

what I mean?

Just can't summon it.

You can't summon it?

Oh, right, then we're

bollocksed then, aren't we?

Look, forget about

the old school.

Get up off your arse and

welcome to the new school,

of Ricky "Bastard" Rickson.

Follow me.

Push me a minute.

There you are. There you go.

Limber, limber!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big boy squat.

Big boy squat.

- (GRUNTING)

- Right then.

- That's it, that's it.

- Now can we go?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Okay, Mark!

- One!

- Two!

Two!

Go on.

Usain Bolton.

Let's do this!

Down the slide.

That rope, right up.

Ah, that's it, that's it.

There you are.

- You got it, man.

- (PANTS)

You gotta get yourself into them

little tight spots. You've got it.

ALL (SINGING ALONG):

Standing so tall

You are gold

(EXCLAIMS)

Always believe

in your soul

You've got

the power to know

You're indestructible

Always believing

'Cause you are gold

I'm glad that you're

bound to return

Something I could

have learned

You're indestructible

Always believing...

- (BONES CRACKING)

- Ooh.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh.

- After the rush has gone

I hope you find

a little more time...

Bloody hell.

It's only two years ago

The man with the suit

and the face

- (PANTHER GROWLS)

- You knew he was there on the case...

- Oh, my God!

- What?

Tickets have sold out!

- (COOS)

- (COOING)

And you could leave me

standing so tall...

(ALL ROAR)

GLORIA:

Woo-hoo, Tony!

You are gold

Always believe

in your soul

You've got

the power to know...

And... there we go!

Always believing,

'cause you are gold...

I've brought vitamin C,

and I've got you some bananas

for your strength.

ALL (CHANTING):

Panthers! Panthers! Panthers!

Always believing...

(GRUNTING)

I can hold you.

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

Got you.

RICKY:
Hurry up, lad,

I'm getting older!

Come on,

you got this.

Keep up!

Get up, Mark.

(MARK EXHALES DEEPLY)

- Come past.

- I can't. I can't. I can't.

My love is like

a high prison wall

But you could leave me

standing so tall...

Nearly got you there, lad.

A half nelson.

A full nelson.

Come on, Rickson! I'll smash

the granny out of you!

You've got

the power to know

You're indestructible

You've got it, mate!

You've got it!

'Cause you are gold

I'm glad that

you're bound to return...

My best mate, he is.

Back in a blur

You're indestructible

It's all all right.

The pub is safe. We're fine.

Machine. Shaneequa.

(CHEERING)

Ginger Storm! Ginger Storm!

Ginger Storm! Ginger Storm!

RICKY:
He's done it!

He's only gone and done it!

(BOTH CHEERING)

RICKY:
He's gone and done it!

He's only gone and done it!

I did it,

I did it, I did it!

(CHEERING)

- I knew you'd do it.

- Thanks, lad. Thanks.

It's time.

(DOOR OPENS)

LARA:
It might make

you a bit gassy.

Jesus. I bet

they're dreaming.

TREVOR:
Are you sure

about this, son?

Oh, he's got it.

- (MARK GRUNTS)

- (RING THUDS)

(THUDDING)

Yes, you little toe-rag.

I do believe he has.

- (MARK GRUNTS)

- Whoa!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

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