Walk of Shame Page #4

Follow that guy down there.

Yeah, baby, what's up?

Sometimes I wonder.

They are like the f***ing

Keystone Cops out there.

All right, later.

Sneaking up on me is a bad idea.

No, no. Hi. I'm not sneaking up.

I wasn't. I just...

No samples.

Keep your zombie-ass moving.

I just need

a little help. Sir.

Now, I know

you can see I'm working.

And I'm sure you done worked

that ass enough tonight.

You need to get on home.

That's all I want to do.

And I don't want your drugs.

Excuse me?

Oh, I mean...

That was a terrible assumption.

I mean,

I don't know if there's...

I wouldn't...

Yeah, you don't know.

You're right.

You don't know. You need to

forget what you think I'm doing.

It's already forgotten.

I'm so sorry about that.

I just want to

borrow your phone.

Can I please make

a call on your phone?

I'm pretty sure today might be the

most important day of my life,

but I really

need to make a call.

Please, I'm...

I am not what you think I am.

I swear. I'm a good girl.

Oh! Sh*t. You ain't that good.

The police said if they find me

again, they're going to arrest me.

For what?

Being a good girl?

It was a misunderstanding.

At worst.

Five-O! Five-O!

Full team's coming!

Oh. You better get lost.

Wait, wait!

What the f*** are you doing?

I'm getting lost!

Well, get lost somewhere else!

Where?

I don't know! That's why

they call that sh*t "lost"!

B*tch, why are you so fast?

I ran track in high school.

Hang on. Wait. Hey, hey!

Hang on. Hey!

A f***ing

yellow-ass Terminator.

What are you still doing behind me?

Get out of here, man!

I need to get in here.

Get off me!

Get away from me, b*tch!

Yo, ho! You is a stupid...

Oh, my God!

What are you doing?

Just give me the phone. You

better go back out. Go back out!

I can't go out there.

Go back out! God!

I can't be caught out there.

What the f***

are you doing in here?

I was running

from the five-O.

Who the f*** are you?

Yo, chill. Chill, chill.

She's with me.

Yeah. I'm with him. Yeah.

She's just some dumb ho.

Yeah.

Are you f***ing stupid?

Look at this b*tch.

She's an undercover cop wearing what

looks like a Marc Jacobs dress.

Do you think some raggedy-ass trick

could get her hands on that?

Hold the f*** up.

How the f*** do you know what a

f***ing Mark Jenkins dress is?

It's Marc Jacobs, nigga.

Watch one episode

of What Not to Wear

and get back to me.

The b*tch is a cop.

Man, she's a trick.

Cop.

She's a trick.

No, that's the b*tch

from the news.

Why did you let

Pookie up in here?

Why did you let

some cop up in here?

She ain't no cop.

That's the b*tch from the news.

Channel Six. Live at 5:00.

I'm about to put my foot up

in your motherfucking mouth.

I'm not a cop.

I'm not. I am.

I'm b*tch from the news.

"For KZLA, Live at 5:00,

Eyewitness News,

"I'm Meghan Miles.

Be well."

Pookie. Shut the hell up.

Why the hell would

KZLA's Meghan Miles

be sucking dick

for crack in our hood?

No, I'm not

sucking dick for crack.

What are you

sucking dick for then?

Nothing.

The sh*t's free?

Uh...

So, you ain't

sucked one dick tonight?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Okay, but it's... That's not...

I'm just lost. And I just

need to make a phone call.

I just wanted

to borrow your phone.

Look, look, right here!

Look, look.

Oh, my God.

B*tch from the news.

Yeah.

Look at this.

"Be well." I love it.

Oh, sh*t. It does kind

of look like you.

Yeah. I'm Meghan.

Meghan Miles.

Look, b*tch from the news,

you're real good and stuff,

but I just think

you need to work on

inviting the audience in

a little more.

Earning their trust.

You have a natural, approachable beauty.

I like it.

But your delivery

is just a little robotic.

I just feel like you can

show us a little more warmth.

I know it's in there. You got that.

Pookie.

What you smoking on?

Weed laced with embalming fluid.

It's pretty good.

No, no, no. I kind of

see what he's saying.

It's like you're

closed to the world.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I mean, look how you're

holding your shoulders right now.

All closed off.

Like you don't trust us.

Okay. These are

excellent points.

Viewer feedback is very

important to me, Mr...

Hulk.

Hulk and...

Scrilla.

Scrilla. And Pookie.

With two "O's."

Okay.

I'm going to take

everything you said...

I'm going to take it

all under consideration.

I need to get back

to do the news.

Tonight, live at 5:00.

I'm up for a promotion, so it's

really important that I be there.

But I am lost.

And I don't have a phone

or money, and my car

is in the impound lot.

And I am currently standing in the

middle of a ghetto crack house.

Sorry, no offense.

None taken.

That's a pretty

fair description.

Look, I'll tell you what.

I'm going to help you out.

Yeah. Exactly.

Give her that one.

Use that one.

Okay.

Thank you.

You got it.

Right over there.

Give me that. Damn. What

happened to that dress?

Since when do you

watch the news?

I wake up at 5:
00.

You got a TV?

You see the TV in the back?

You need to sell that sh*t.

You owe me money.

I already paid you.

What are you talking about?

Remember my EBT card?

Shut the hell up.

What's wrong, sweetheart?

I don't know anybody's number.

They were all in my phone.

I use the voice-dialing

in my car

and everyone's on speed dial.

That's some modern-day,

f***ed-up sh*t, huh?

Yeah.

I only know three numbers.

My parents in Texas

and I am not calling them.

I know my own number so I

could give it out to people.

I should text myself, right?

Someone might get it.

That's a good idea.

Okay.

Um...

Where am I?

The hood.

We're more like

hood-adjacent. Hood.

Hood. Yeah.

So what's the other number?

Who is this?

You woke me up, God damn it. I

said, who is this? Just talk.

It's me. It's Meghan.

You were never going to call me.

I thought we weren't

going to talk.

I had to call you,

okay, Kyle? I had to.

Listen, breaking up was the

hardest thing I ever did.

Just hold on.

Hang on.

Why are you talking so low?

Are you...

Are you with someone? Is someone

there with you already?

Are you drunk?

Technically, probably yes.

Is this a booty call?

No! I don't want

to have sex with you!

Damn! Who are you

talking to?

It's my ex-fianc.

Okay.

All right.

Who's that?

That is Pookie.

He's an acquaintance of mine.

Okay, so then you are not alone, either.

What are you doing?

Why are you calling me?

I called you because

I'm in trouble, Kyle, okay?

I need you to come and get me.

And I only knew

three numbers, okay?

You and my parents

and 1-800-FLOWERS,

and I wish to God

it wasn't the case.

But some things just stick, you know?

I can't get rid of you.

Anybody know any numbers?

I don't know. I know

the bail bond's number.

What do you need that for? I may

need some carpet or something.

Are you in jail?

Not yet, but it's

a distinct possibility.

Sober up. Call a taxi,

all right? I gotta go.

Kyle, who are you talking to?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. There is someone there!

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