Walk of Shame Page #3

in fresh and ready to kill it.

This could be very good.

No. I hate cats.

Don't you do anything.

Mmm.

No, no, no. No, no.

You were in the box.

Okay.

Shoes, shoes, shoes.

Where are my keys?

I hate cats!

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay.

Where is my car?

Wait, he drove.

We kissed and then

I fumbled for some Tic Tacs.

Oh!

No, no.

There's no names.

Oh, no, no.

Wait, wait! That's my car!

Hey! That's my car.

That's my car.

That was my car.

Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

You sneak up, I shoot you.

No, no. I just want a ride, and

I'm just trying to hire you.

No, no, no.

Off-duty. Off-duty.

No, please, sir. I will pay you.

Double. Triple.

To take me to the tow place.

Do you know where that is,

the place they tow to?

Oh. "Tow to"?

Yes, you understand.

The tow to.

Da. Da. Tow to.

Okay, great. Thank God.

Are you working?

Yes, I work.

It's very important that I get

to work today. Tonight. Okay.

Great.

So, here we go.

We're going tow to.

Great. Great.

You know, I like your work.

You know my work?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Very nice.

Oh, well, thank you.

Thank you so much.

I love what I do. It gives me a

lot of self-worth and really...

I don't know, I...

Do you have a boyfriend?

Um... Presently I do not

technically have a man.

I mean, I just...

I don't know. I met someone,

but I just left someone.

I didn't... Well,

truth be told, he left me.

Actually,

I don't really give a sh*t.

Okay. Good talk.

Ah.

Here.

Here? Where here?

Here. Tow to.

Oh.

No, no.

Oh, my goodness.

No, no, no.

This is "Tattoo."

I said, "tow to"

as in "tow your car."

This is a funny

language miscommunication.

I can't get out here because

I don't have my money.

It's in my purse,

which is in my car.

Which is at the "tow to" place.

"Tow to."

You no pay?

I drive to jail.

Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We don't... There's no jail.

Then you pay $23.

I am not a stripper.

I'm actually a journalist

with local Emmy nominations

and a lot of connections.

So you will get paid.

You will get your money.

But right now, I really, really

need you to just help me out, okay?

Do you understand?

Okay.

Okay.

You will give me

a dance on lap, huh?

Four songs.

Dance on lap, $23, finished.

No, there's no deal.

No?

Yes.

No, I can't give you

a lap dance, sir.

Four songs.

No.

You give me three songs.

No deal.

No, no, no. You dance

on lap or I take to jail.

Wait, wait. You can put the gun down.

Wait, wait.

Two dances.

No, no, no.

Bullshit for me.

Good deal. Yeah?

Two songs.

Okay.

Two songs. Alanis

Morissette in VIP room.

Sure, the VIP room.

Just unlock the door.

Leave the gun.

You can't take the gun in there.

No gun. No gun.

I'll get lap ready.

Come on, we... Hey!

Where are you going? Come on back!

We have deal. Hey, lady!

Son of a b*tch.

This is nuts.

What the f***, lady?

Oh, my God!

Hey, wait!

Wait, wait, wait!

What do you want from me?

Wait, you can help me.

Hang on!

Hey, hey!

Go away!

I... I just...

You can help... Hey!

Oh. Hey, hey!

Hey! Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hey. Hi.

How are you doing? Hi. I'm

not so good, actually.

I could really use some help.

I could use some help, too.

Oh, really? With what?

Oh. No.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

No. I'm not a...

I'm not a hooker.

Yeah, okay.

Have a good night.

No. Wait. You can't...

That's disgusting.

Oh, God.

This stupid dress.

I am going to murder Denise.

Oh, my God.

I'm freezing.

Hey! Who the f*** are you?

Uh... I'm not a prostitute.

Excuse me?

Check out Barbie over here.

Where did you guys come from?

Go on.

Hey, excuse me.

Is there any chance

that you are not

looking for a hooker?

Free agent?

Get out of here.

It looks like it.

It's ballsy. You have to give it to

her, man. That takes a lot of balls.

Ah. No, come on, Dave.

Man, it's the end of our shift.

Look, dude, I just have to get

home, get a little bit of rest.

I was going to drive

down to Long Beach.

They have this whole fishing

charter thing set up.

It's our job, Walter.

It's our job.

No, it isn't. No, it isn't.

Our job is to keep

the hookers over there

away from the decent

people down there.

All right. All right, look.

We can issue her

an official warning.

But if I see her out here

again, we gotta take her in.

See, that's good police work.

That's what I'm talking about.

What's the matter,

you can't hear?

I have nothing against

modern female entrepreneurs.

You're taking my business away!

Oh, sh*t.

Thank God.

Hallelujah.

Do not approach the vehicle.

Ma'am, what you're

doing is the opposite

of not approaching the vehicle.

Okay. I can't see now.

Thank goodness you are here.

I am so happy to see you.

Are you deaf?

This has been the longest

night of my life.

Quit your babbling.

Quit your babbling and listen.

Okay.

We have you on video soliciting those cars.

We can haul you in right now.

No, no.

I was not soliciting sex.

Ma'am, do not

raise your voice at me!

Don't you raise

your voice at him!

Okay.

How much did you

have to drink tonight?

Uh...

You smell like a distillery.

I just...

I haven't been home.

Neither have I. Which is why

we're going to give you a break

and let you off with a warning.

Ready? Here it is.

Stay off of my streets.

But...

We see you out here again

and you will go to jail.

But I didn't do anything wrong.

Really? You haven't

done anything wrong?

Are you going out

to get some eggs?

Just wrapping up

your paper route?

It's time to grow up.

Now, stay off my streets.

Stay off his streets.

I... Sit down and

think about it.

Think about it. Sit down.

Don't be on your knees.

Off his streets

and grow the f*** up, okay?

You're not going to help me?

Aren't you supposed

to help people?

I'm not a... Please don't.

B*tch, get out of here.

That sounded tough. Veteran.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, we did the right thing.

You better start running!

Okay, okay, okay. I'm going. I'm running.

I'm running. I'm running.

Molly?

Mel...

Meghan.

Meghan?

Meghan?

Good morning, Los Angeles.

Today's the big day.

Carpocalypse.

It's a heck

of a day for traffic.

My advice to you,

get a helicopter.

There's no traffic in the sky,

I'll tell you that. Whoa!

Kidding.

That was a good one.

Hey, Meghan. I'm

just calling to make sure

that you got home okay because things

got a little fuzzy last night.

Hey, babe.

What?

What are you doing here?

I like to get up early.

Of course you do.

You're like 70.

Just to clarify,

what happened last night?

Everything.

Everything?

And by everything, you mean...

Everything.

I just passed out...

Everything but that.

Listen, you got

a banana or something?

I'm sorry.

This was a mistake.

I thought I was taking home

a really young, very cute guy.

You must mean my son. Yeah,

we get confused all the time.

Don't worry about it.

Crazy night. You can party.

F***.

Yeah. What do you think I'm doing?

I'm on the corner.

Yeah. Hold up, hold up.

Hold up, hold up.

What's up?

All right, cool.

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